You Left Me (Louis Tomlinson FanFiction) EDITING IN PROGRESS

Chapter 18

A/N - Hey guys, I would like to apologise for the VERY late update! I won't be updating for a while now because next week is ALL exams -.- BUT please continue to read, vote and comment! Enjoy! :) xoxo

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*Louis' POV*

I messed up big time again… I need to see her… I have to see her…

I open the guest room door that I think Megs is staying in, just in time to see the unexpected… 

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There she was… just lying down on the light blue bed… sleeping soundly. Ok… what I expected was her to be crying her eyes out in a corner of a room or something… but I guess she calmed down. I stepped closer to the bed and studied her beautiful features carefully. She looks so peaceful and calm. Her straight and dark eyebrows, her extra long curls of eyelashes, bottom of her eyelids now looking red and blotchy, her cute little button nose along with her rosy cheeks and her soft pink lips. I leaned in close to her forehead and kissed there softly, "Good night Megs… I love you"

There was no reply from her so I would say that she is really tired and deep in her sleep. I left her room and went into my own. It was still a mess from this morning when I didn’t know what to wear to go to the cemetery in case I see Megs there. Wait… was it this morning? I am sure it was… I move most of the mess from my bed to the floor and slam myself onto my bed. Tears start rolling out of my eyes and I cry into my pillow, trying to make no sound at all.

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I wake up to the dampness on my pillow. I don’t even know when I fell asleep last night. Megs is just too special to me… I don’t even deserve her… hell she doesn’t deserve this mess I made. I wonder how she is… is she breaking just like me? Does she even care? Of course she does Louis, that’s why she's in the same house as you now. Should I check on her? I don’t know how to handle this situation… being siblings with her… I know I just found her back yesterday after those 5 damn years and she is already having to go through this… for me…

I sigh heavily and walk down to the bathroom. I stare into the ceiling-to-floor mirror and I look exactly like how I feel. My eyelids and the bottom part of my eyes feel and look swollen. My eyes bloodshot and my hair is sticking up almost everywhere. I walk over to the sink and open up the tap to the coldest, splashing my face with the icy water afterwards. I feel a little bit fresher and calmer and look slightly better. I return to my room and grab a towel out of my mess. I feel so weak and drained. I don’t think I can face this… face another day… face Megs… face the public and fans… I can't do this… I lean onto the back of my bedroom door and slide down to the floor. Tears start streaming down my face uncontrollably again and this time, I cover my face in the towel that’s in my hands and cry into it. My eyes starts to sting again. I deserve to feel like this… I made all this happen… if I would've just stayed home yesterday… none of this would be happening… Megs wouldn’t be hurt all over again…

"Lou... are you in there?" her quiet voice that comes from the other side of the door surprised me. I wipe all my tears away quickly and shove up all the mess onto the bed again. I open the door to see her… looking the same appearance as me, probably feeling the same too. She still looks beautiful with her hair tied up in a messy pony tail and her eyes all red and puffy.