Hold Me Tight-Pewdiecry Fanfiction(PewdiepiexChaoticMonki)♥

Chapter Twenty~Two Fucked Up Idiots

---Felix's POV---

I pressed my back on the cold, hard wall and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath which filled my lungs with fresh air as I was feeling my heart racing.

That was intense. That was really intense. More intense than having a Bro chasing you in Amnesia. With no oil for your lantern. Yep, really  intense.

Just about when things had started to go on smoothly, just about when Ryan and I were happy, bam! Here comes Miss Marzia and fucks everything up.

I have to go to Ryan. I have to tell him that he shouldn't worry about her. Ryan has some low confidence and if that was stressful for me, I don't wanna imagine how Ryan must have felt.

I sighed and started walking to the bedroom door, a little hesitant.

Ryan was sitting on the edge of the bed with his face hidden under his palms. I stood on the doorway and stared at him for a good one minute. I don't know what to do. I don't have a clue on how to deal with him. He's so sensitive and I ... I'm not good with the talking, that's for sure. I couldn't stand seeing him like that. Hurt.

"R-Ryan?" I stuttered awkwardly. Ryan didn't respond, he didn't even move. I made my way  slowly towards him.

"R-Ryan ... are you feeling alright?" I asked him warily and sat next to him with careful moves.

"I feel ... disgusting." he muttered under his hands. I stared at him for a moment, my brain proceeding his words. I'm sorry   I'm a little slow.

"Why would you fe-" I started but he quickly cut me off.

"I'm just trouble. Nothing but trouble" he mumbled and I felt him sobbing. "Can't you see Felix?"

It hurt me so much seeing him like that. Blaming himself for something as trivial as that, something that he didn't do anything to blame his own self for.

"Ryan..you're not.." I said quietly and moved closer to him. Ryan didn't move, nor did he said anything, I but I realised that he was quietly crying.

"Maybe I should just ... go" Ryan eventually said and tried to ge up but I pushed him down again.

"You're going nowhere. I'm not gonna let you go" I boldly said, trying to convince him to not think of going away again. I was holding his wrist tightly, I have to make him understand that I need him here, with me

"Look Felix, I'm just ... a pain in the ass. can't you see? Can't you fucking see that whenever I go I screw everything up? I don't deserve any love, I'm only trouble!!" he yelled and looked at me, his emerald green eyes wet and full with pain.

" Ryan, you've go it all wron-" I tried to object and make him think logically but he cut me off.

"Let me go before I destroy everything! " he shouted and pulled his hand out of my grasp.

"Stop saying bullshit!" I yelled back at him. Why doesn't he understand how much he means to me?

"I'm saying the bold truth Felix" he coldly said. I could never imagine Ryan saying such thing...in such way. Cold and emotionless. Like ... he really meant it. Like he didn't want to be with me anymore. Like he didn't care if we broke up.

The tears that just had started streaming down his face though, revealed his true emotions. He cared. He cared too fucking much. And I wasn't going to let him go because of his stupid imagination misrepresenting everything.

"You're crying" I stated the obvious and Ryan looked away quickl, trying to hide his face.

"Shut up." he hissed in a way I've never seen him before.