Beyond My Reach(#Wattys2018)

Chapter 2

I was sprawled on my bed, staring blankly at an open magazine. I had no idea what I was looking at. My thoughts were elsewhere.
I was never a deep thinker, I usually go with the flow and just face whatever comes my way. But ever since I celebrated my 16th birthday two months ago, weird and doubtful questions have always been buzzing inside my head.
I turned around and stared at the colourless ceiling. I thought back to days of my past. It all seemed magical to me somehow. It's not like I had unicorns tied at my backyard, or Fairies roaming my room. The memories just seemed too good to be true. And for some reasons I don't have memories of when I was little. My mind was blank whenever I try to remember of something that might have happened.

After all I am an inquisitive girl, but as always when I ask my Mom, she just acts as if I asked her if I was born in Jupiter or Earth. Her expression can never be described. Then she says me to just forget about everything and not worry too much.
I started pulling my hair in frustration.
A groan escaped my lips. I shut my eyes tight but I couldn't force myself to doze off.

There was a knock on my door. I remained silent. There was a knock again. I let out a worn-out sigh before answering.
"Come in." I shut my eyes as I heard the door open wide making a soft creaking noise.
"Dinner's ready Amy. Mom asked me to call you down, and whoa! what's up with you?" To his last sentence I opened my eyes and gazed at him intently.
I'm sure I must have looked like a zombie right out of a horror movie, with tired red sunken eyes and hair in a tangled mess.
"You do realize you're scaring me right?" Adam said still staring at me. I sat up and leaned on the wall crossing my outstretched legs. Adam sat on my bed beside me his intent gaze not flickering even for a second. But it wasn't the usual expression he always gave me. This time his eyes were filled with worry and concern. Before he could say anything I knew what he was thinking.
"Geez, what's gotten into you cupcake? Lately you seem kind of, I don't know, out of this world. Are you sure you're okay? Is someone bothering you?" He started ruffling my already messed up hair.
If it was the past me, I would have started a war with my obnoxious brother which would lead to a lot of tickling and pillow fights and of course a million scolding's from Mom for wrecking the room.
Right now I felt like I was in no mood to play with him.
What am I saying? I haven't been in a good mood for the past two months! To me all those fun days seemed like it happened ages ago. Maybe decades ago. All of it was only a memory to me now and nothing more. Slowly but steadily they were disappearing from my mind.
I flicked his hand away, to which he pulled back surprised. I didn't mean to hurt him nor glare at him, But I knew well my eyes were directing a cold stare his way.
"Just go. I'll be down in a minute. I'm not in a good mood to kid around with you Adam. For once in your life can you listen and do what I say you to?" I never knew my voice could be so rough and harsh. Especially towards my brother.
Adam stood up from my bed, his eyes not wandering away from me, then he walked out and shut the door behind him.
My brother, who was always by my side no matter what happens left me alone in my room without speaking another word.

I groaned to myself as I let my head drop onto my pillow. I tried shutting my eyes tight and to forget about everything and just fall into a dreamless sleep.

Mom wouldn't stop calling my name over and over again. I got to my feet and dragged myself downstairs, combing my hair with my fingers, trying to force them to not stick out in all directions.
I dumped myself on the seat right next to Adam. I felt him flinch but not a word was spoken by the guy who always had a million things to say to me.
This didn't go unnoticed by the rest of my family. Allie was shooting venomous daggers at me, Mom and Dad didn't take their eyes off of us. They never approved sibling quarrels and fights.

"Did you two get into a fight?" Dad asked while taking off his glasses and wiping it with a clean piece of cloth. I noticed how tired Dad looked without his glasses on. I looked over at Mom and found even she looked worn-out. Since when did they look so old? Is this the first time I'm actually looking closely at my parents?

Adam didn't utter a word, so I took the initiative to tell my parents there was nothing going on.
"Adam and I never fight Dad. We're just keeping quiet at the dinner table for once without our constant bickering."
Mom gave me a kind smile as she started filling everyone's plates with her home-made spaghetti.
Adam kept picking on his food. He would usually gobble his share and ask for seconds or eye mine waiting for me to fill his plate with it. I turned to my right and stared at him closely. Was I really very harsh to him?
His eyes met mine for a brief second then he looked away.
He shoved half his food into his mouth quickly, almost choking and then gulped down a glass of orange juice, got up from the table and walked to his room without another word.
"What did you do to my brother?" I looked up from my plate and found my Sister glaring at me with all the hatred she could sum up.

I don't mind when I'm always questioned by Allie. She has never liked me nor considered me a sister. But deep down I was always hurt whenever she said that I wasn't one of them in the family. Even though I'm the eldest it's always me who has to hang my head down in front of Allie.

Right now all my pent up anger and frustration began to surface. I stood up with such force, the chair wobbled and fell back. The glass on the table was knocked over spilling the entire juice on the table.
"Why me? Why is it always me? Why am I always being blamed for everything by you? And don't forget Adam is my brother too. I'm sick of all this. Damn it!" I kicked the chair aside and stormed to my room. I could hear the pleading voice of my Mom asking me to come back.
I have always been an obedient child to both my parents. But just this once, I was going to act like a spoilt daughter. I walked to my room without stopping even when Adam peeked a glance from his room wondering what was going on. I walked right past him and shut my door loudly behind me. My bed had never looked so welcoming as it did now. I got into bed and pulled the covers right over my head. Everything around me was dark and I was alone in my room.
Finally, I let out the hot tears which had threatened to spill out any moment. At long last my wish came true. I fell into a deep deep dreamless sleep.