Once In A Lifetime

Chapter 4: Finding Courage

"The truth does not cost anything,
But a lie could cost you everything."
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Breakfast was ready.
From her room, Denise could smell sauted morisqueta tostada , a dish she learned from her Home Economics class when she was in grade 6. She got the highest grade along with her group members when they presented the meal to their teacher in an extraordinary plating. She went home with so much pride that day and started demonstrating it to her Lola. Henceforth, it became their favorite. The smell of kapeng barako was also inviting. Her grandparents couldn't live without it. Its strong aroma pervaded the entire house, sending gusto to her palate.

She spent a considerable time looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her shoulder-length hair was neatly tucked with pony tail. Her deep-seated brown eyes, high cheek bones, and soft and sensual lips were exactly from her mother. That's what they told her. According to her Lola, she got the looks of her mother. She was surprised that they didn't have even a single picture of her Mama. She was also wondering how come she did not know anyone from her Mama's relatives... Maybe a brother or sister. Somehow, she felt, she's not complete. It was a strange feeling...to be able to live with so many missing fragments in her life.

She drove away the thoughts and finished fixing herself. The bruises on her left arm, the ones she sustained from the accident, were exposed, since she was not in uniform and only wearing a sleeveless T-shirt paired with denims. She grabbed a kimono to conceal the bruises and went down to join the rest for breakfast.

"Good morning La," she took her hand and pressed it against her forehead. Sat down on her usual seat and took a sip of coffee offered to her by Yaya Inday.

"Apo, why are you not in uniform?" she gave her a warm and meaningful look.

"Oh, our group is excused from our classes today, La." She grinned and dropped the subject immediately by asking, "Where is Lolo? I never seen much of him lately." She had no intention of telling her about the accident in the school. It would drive her nuts and definitely affect her blood pressure. Besides, she didn't want her to worry about her, so much more that she's been sickly the past weeks.

Lola caught her expression. It was obvious that Denise did not want to talk about it. Denise was not aware that Lola heard about the accident in school. The old woman was just waiting that she would open up and tell her what happened. So, Lola did not pursue the matter. Just like her Apo, she was also keeping some things from her.

"Johny fetched him as early as six this morning. "

"Huh? What for?" She almost choked by the announcement. It was so unusual that Mang Johny and her Lolo would likely be together for something in the shop.

"I don't know. Some fixings in the shop, maybe." She lied, avoiding Denise' eyes.

Few days ago, Lolo received a telegram from their son, stating among others, that he's coming home very soon. As a mother, the thought of her son homecoming was something she always looked for. She was delighted, but at the same time, worried. "Denise is not ready for this," she mused. Lola was aware that Denise hated her father very much. Denise felt she was abandoned and unloved by her father. Somehow, they were responsible for the child's ill-feeling towards her father. Until now, they never told her the real reason why her father could not simply come home. Each day the guilt inside her was killing her softly. She's old and deserve a peaceful life. But the lies of those many years were like ghost, haunting her in so many ways. Will Denise ever forgive them, if one day, she will learn the truth? Lola's heart bleeds, every time her Apo asked about and looked for her father. And now, he would be coming home, when the door to Denise' heart was completely locked.

Lola tried to dispel from her thoughts the intricacies of the situation. She convinced herself that in due time, everything would be okay.

Lola finished her coffee, took a slice of bread, hard boiled egg and boiled kamote tops dipped in calamansi soy sauce. Denise passed the fried rice to her, but she refused mindlessly. "Thanks, Apo."

Denise looked worriedly at her. The fun-loving woman she knew all her life was very restless. She loved morisqueta tostada but how come she had no appetite for this one? "Are you okay, La? Is there something bothering you?"

"Of course, I am fine. What makes you think otherwise?"

"I was just thinking your BP is giving you trouble again, that's why, you refused to eat this," pointing to the dish she had offered earlier.

"Ohhh...that. You see, I'm getting older. Need to be very conscious. I can't die until you settle down, Apo." She gave her a genuinely sweet smile. Denise was amused. But she couldn't imagine herself marrying somebody. Not at a very young age. She had so many dreams to fulfill. She won't be like them, she thought. Her Lola got married when she was sixteen, while her Lolo was seventeen. And her Papa was 25 years. What about her Mama? She was 24. These were some of the details in her birth certificate. The only document bearing the names of her parents, giving her identity. An identity she was not even convinced.

"La, can you still remember, my parents wedding?" Why she became interested?

"Huh?" Lola was surprised. It's been years since the last time she asked about her parents. "Of course, Apo. What about it that you want to know?" Everything about them, she thought.

"Oh...never mind,"she glanced at her watch and said, "Got to go now." She planted a quick kiss on her cheeks, grabbed her packbag and left. She's not going to hurt herself with their memories, although she desperately want to hear their stories.
She was an incomplete individual, a girl with no one from her past, except a father who did not care.

"I thought you're not going to school?"

"We have a group work to finish in Caroline's house. Bye," she shouted from the front door and walked away.

Lola stared at the receding figure. She had grown to be a beautiful, fine lady, just like her mother. Only if Linda was still alive, things would be a lot easier for all of them.

Lola finished her food, went inside her room and for the first time in many years, since her son left them, she had never been so frightened as she was now. "Oh God, please help me find the courage to tell Denise everything, even it will mean losing her."

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Kapeng barako is a native coffee.
Apo means granddaughter.
Kamote is sweet potato.
Calamansi is a citrus fruit.

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