Once In A Lifetime

Chapter 4: Finding Courage

"The truth does not cost anything,
But a lie could cost you everything."
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Breakfast was ready.

From her room, Denise could smell the sautéed morisqueta tostada, a dish she learned in her Home Economics class when she was in grade 6. She and her groupmates had earned the highest grade when they presented the meal to their teacher, impressing her with an extraordinary plating. Denise had been so proud of that day, and since then, she had made it for her Lola. It quickly became their favorite. Also, the strong aroma of kapeng barako filled the air, a scent her grandparents couldn't live without. It was the kind of coffee that didn't just wake you up but enveloped the whole house with its earthy richness, making Denise's mouth water.

She spent a long moment staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her shoulder-length hair was neatly tied into a ponytail, and she studied her face. Her deep brown eyes, high cheekbones, and soft, sensual lips-Lola always told her she had inherited them from her mother. It was strange to think about, but Denise could never quite shake the feeling of something missing, something important. She'd grown up with memories of her Lola, but her Mama was a mystery. There was no photo of her, no record of her family, and no one ever spoke of her mother's side of the family. Maybe she had an uncle or an aunt-someone from her mother's side who could help complete the missing pieces of her life.

Somehow, Denise felt incomplete. It was as if she was living in the shadows of something that could never be fully understood.

She shook off the thought, finishing up with her appearance. Her bruises-leftover from the accident-were still visible on her left arm. She wasn't in uniform today; instead, she wore a sleeveless T-shirt paired with denim jeans. The sight of the bruises made her uncomfortable, so she grabbed a kimono and draped it over herself to conceal the bruises, a silent decision to keep her pain-both physical and emotional-to herself. After a final glance at the mirror, she went downstairs to join the others for breakfast.

"Good morning, La," she said, pressing her grandmother's hand to her forehead before sitting at the table. Yaya Inday immediately offered her a cup of coffee, which she gratefully accepted.

"Apo, why aren't you in uniform?" Lola asked, her gaze warm but probing.

"Oh, our group is excused from classes today, La," Denise answered, offering a casual grin. She quickly diverted the conversation. "Where's Lolo? I haven't seen him around lately."

Lola gave her a steady look. She knew that Denise didn't want to discuss the accident, and she didn't want to push her. However, she was still waiting for Denise to open up about it. She could not force her. She herself had some secrets to keep to protect Denise from further pain.

She could not tell her about the telegram. The news of her son's impending arrival was something Lola had been dreading-and secretly hoping for-but she wasn't sure how Denise would react.

"Johny went to fetch him this morning," Lola replied, trying to mask the uncertainty in her voice.

"Huh? What for?" Denise asked, almost choking on her coffee at the mention of Mang Johny. It was unusual for him and Lolo to leave so early for something at the shop.

Lola hesitated, unwilling to share the full details just yet.
"I don't know. Maybe some fixings at the shop," she said vaguely, avoiding her granddaughter's gaze.

A couple of days ago, Lolo had received a telegram from their son, Denise's father. He was coming home soon, but the news filled Lola with both joy and worry. She was happy to know that he was finally coming back, but at the same time, she feared how Denise would react to him after all these years. She knew how hurt and abandoned Denise felt, but the truth of why he had stayed away was something they'd never revealed.

Each day, the guilt inside her gnawed at her like an old wound that never truly healed. How do you tell someone you love that their entire life was built on half-truths?

Lola sighed deeply, her heart heavy. She had lived with this guilt for far too long, and now that her son was returning, she feared it would only make things worse.

Denise could feel the shift in the room, but she didn't press the issue. She focused instead on her grandmother's unusual behavior. Lola, the vibrant woman she knew all her life, seemed distant today, her eyes clouded with concern. It was unlike her.

"Are you okay, La? You're not eating," Denise said, her tone softening with concern.

"I'm fine, Apo," Lola said, forcing a smile. "Just getting older, that's all. Need to be more conscious of my health." She made a light joke, but Denise could see through it. Her Lola had always had a healthy appetite, especially for morisqueta tostada. Today, she barely touched her food.

Denise wasn't convinced. "I thought your BP was giving you trouble again. That's why you're not eating," she said, worry lacing her voice.

Lola smiled gently. "Oh, that. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I can't die until you settle down, Apo," she said with a playful wink.

Denise's heart fluttered at the mention of settling down. Her Lola's expectations were understandable, but Denise was still young. She had so many dreams to fulfill. Marriage felt like something distant, something she didn't yet want for herself. She didn't want to live like her Lola and Lolo, who married so young-her Lola was only sixteen when she married Lolo, and Denise's father had been twenty-five when he married her mother.

But it was her mother who intrigued her now. "La, can you still remember my parents' wedding?" she asked unexpectedly.

Lola was caught off guard. It had been years since Denise had asked about her parents, but something in her eyes made Lola pause. "Of course, Apo. What about it?"

Denise bit her lip, hesitant. She longed to know everything about her parents, but she feared the answers. Still, she couldn't ignore the ache in her heart. "Nothing," she said quickly. "I just... got to go now."

She kissed her grandmother's cheek and grabbed her bag, already planning to leave. She didn't want to stay in the past, even if she desperately wanted to know more about it. The memories were too painful-too incomplete. And yet, she still couldn't shake the feeling that something important was missing.

"I thought you weren't going to school today?" Lola called after her.

"We have group work to finish at Caroline's house. Bye," Denise shouted over her shoulder as she hurried out the door.

Lola watched her granddaughter disappear down the road, her heart swelling with a mix of pride and sorrow. Denise had grown into a beautiful, strong woman-just like her mother. If only Linda were still alive, Lola thought. Maybe things would have been different.

Lola finished her breakfast, her mind heavy with the weight of secrets long kept. For the first time in years, she felt more afraid than she ever had.

Oh God, give me the strength to tell Denise the truth-no matter the cost. Even if it means losing the only piece of my son I have left. ❤️
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