Once In A Lifetime

Chapter 13: Sarah

"Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them."
-Bruce Lee-

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Denis was nervous when he saw her in the garden talking to an old woman who was picking some flowers.  Obviously, she instructed the woman to replace the withered flowers from the vase with the newly cut and fresh ones. The woman placed them inside the vase and adoringly settled them on a table in the porch, then both of them went inside the house. He saw something unusual as he watched them leaving the garden. He could not explain what it was, but definitely, Sarah was taking uncertain steps as the woman guided her inside. Was she sick?  Denis thought, watching them from a distance.

Slowly, Denis approached the house and was about to ring the doorbell, when suddenly, the door swung open. Sarah was not surprised to feel the presence of a man standing in the entrance.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I almost hit you. You must be Pastor Romano, right?"  He nodded while her gaze was fixed at a certain direction. Slowly and carefully she took her seat, calculating her every move, then, she offered him to take his seat.

Sarah was beautiful as ever, although there were visible fine lines on her face. She looked great and undoubtedly adorable with her natural appearance.  She was even more beautiful without any cosmetics on. But her eyes were amiss,  revealing shadows of emptiness. Curiously, he waved his hand before her, and his suspicion was confirmed when she did not blink. Denis was very sure, Sarah could not see him, or anything around her. Sarah is blind. For how long now?  He thought.

"I'm sorry. I never thought you wouldn't see me nod when you asked me." He apologized. "How long have you been blind, Sarah?"

"Almost two years now."

"Do you recognize my voice? Do you remember me, Sarah?"

"I wish I can. But my memory left me along with my sight."

"I'm Denis Romano... college days in the Philippines...we're schoolmates... Pamela...Horses...with David..." He tried to mention anything that would help her remember him.

"I'm really sorry Pastor. I can't remember anything."

"What happened to you? How did you lose your sight?"

"I don't know.  My son told me, I was riding a horse, met an accident. My vision  and memory were affected. "

"How's Donald? He's maybe a self-made man now." He asked longingly to the boy. He treated him as his own son, remembering how the child was so dear to him.

"You know my son... He's on a business trip. A real busy man. He's a lawyer now, just like his father...Oh yes, you said, you're David's friend, right?"  I was his friend until the day  I shot him. We were friends, too, Sarah, until the day you hated me.  He thought and said,

"Yes, he's my friend and we treated each other like brothers. I remember you teasing me, when you said,  I know I am the wife, but you are the other half."  He chortled at his own allusion while she gave him a shy smile.

"I sense you are a family." She reached for him and asked,  "May I?" She run her fingers, tracing every detail on his face. "You're a good looking man, as fair as my son and his father, I guess."

"Do you remember David? How  he d... died?" He asked in undertone,  and stood up in an attempt to conceal how wounded he was for bringing the matter again. From his back, he heard her say,

"No. It's silly, I don't remember my husband.  Donald said, he was accidentally shot by a friend. I am thankful I can't remember anything, except the love I have for them."

He went back to his seat, anxious for any hint of recollection that might arise her hatred. "How do you take it?" He watched her expression carefully as he looked into those empty eyes.

"What?" She seemed bewildered.

"I mean, being blind and not remembering anything." How he wished their conversation would come to an end. He was unsure  what to say next.

"It was a blessing." She said with all sincerity. 

"Why did you say that?" He was trying to understand the profundity of her emotion.

"They said, I was inconsiderate, selfish and rude, revengeful and unforgiving. Since, my husband died,  I was never myself. I made everyone's lives miserable, especially Donald who was fascinated to the man who killed my husband. He would always defend him everytime I would curse him for the kind of  life I had then. They said, Donald was up to something to help the man."

Denis could not believe what he was hearing. Could it be Donald? Did he arrange things to delist him from the prisoner's audit? But how?

"Then, the accident took place. When I recovered from the accident, I was a change person according to them. I would always talk about  peace, love and forgiveness. My son told me once, 

I love the kind of woman you are now, Mom. You maybe without a sight, but you have  so much light in your heart. You may not remember anything, but you did not forget what love is.

"My son is right. It's better for me to live in the dark with a loving heart  than live in the light when there is so much darkness in my heart. It's a blessing that I am blind and cannot remember anything. And I am happy the way I am now. You're a minister and you know what I mean."

He was hearing another testimony of how a tragedy could create a new person by the power of God. Sarah may not be aware of the spirit working within her but her transformation was evidently  beyond any human capacity.  Denis was grateful to God for making the path to forgiveness an easy way to take. He had the courage to face his fear now that the woman in front of him was tremendously immersed to the influence of a greater love.

"Sarah, I came here because I need to be at peace with myself foremost, then, with you. I know how you hated a friend turned enemy because he killed your husband. I want you to know, even, I would be facing the old Sarah I knew before, I will still do this."

"I don't understand you." She said in confusion.

"I am the man who killed your husband... Please forgive me...please." He cupped her resting hands on the table, then buried his head into her palms in complete submission.

For a moment, Sarah was surprised. She never knew she was talking to the man who had changed the course of her life. She lifted his head and said,

"Thank you for coming out." Tears were swelling from her eyes now and  between sobs, she continued,

"I've been looking for this day to meet you.  There were times, I could remember things instantly, then afterwards, gone again from my memory. There were nights, in my dream, I could hear voices from the depth, pleading. I could see hands bleeding. Then, a man would embrace me until he would be dragged by the unseen hands in the underworld. I knew it was David. If there is one thing left in my memory, it is the warmth of his embrace."

"I dream of him always. He wants me to live  with so much love to give, even it means giving ones life for others...as he did to you, I guess."

"I was disturbed by this dream. I spoke to him as if he was alive, saying,  whoever that person is, I know he suffered so much. He is languishing enough in a prison cell for the mistake he did not want to  commit. Only if I could tell him, he's forgiven, maybe that would help lessen the weight of guilt and remorse he was living for all those years. And maybe, you will find peace in the grave too, or wherever you are now." She paused  while trying to control her tears.

"Now that you're here, I want you to know, when my sight and memory left me, my son stood by me to show me the way to be happy is to love unconditionally. David haunted me in my dreams reminding me, 'to be truly at peace with oneself is to forgive.' I want all of us to be at peace - you, David and me... Yes, Denis, you've been forgiven a long time ago."

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