Once In A Lifetime

Chapter 6: Guardian Angel

"Anyone can make you smile. Many people can make you cry. But it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes."

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---Denise---

It was not the first time I saw her. I was barely 8 years old at that time. I was confined in the hospital, because, as I heard from the doctor, there was something wrong in my heart. I didn't know what's wrong with me, but as I recalled, I had a hard time breathing. The next thing I knew, I was already breathing with the help of oxygen tank. Lola said, I needed it in order to live. And I felt good when I was using it.

One night, when Lola was in deep sleep and the nurse was not around, I was having a hard time breathing when the oxygen tube was displaced accidentally from my nostrils. Then, I saw this woman. She entered the room when I badly needed someone to help me secure the tube back until I was able to breathe again. Few minutes later, she grabbed a children's storybook from the table, the one Lola brought in the hospital , read it to me until I fell asleep. I guessed she was one of the nurses, but I had not seen her again, until I was discharged few days after.

When I was nine , I believe, I saw her again. I was sitting by the window, waiting and hoping for Papa to come home that night. Then, I fell asleep. Usually, Lola would wake me up and led me to my room. But that evening, nobody woke me up. I just felt someone was carrying me to my room. I was awakened when she settled me on my bed. I thought it was Lola or Yaya Inday, but when I looked up, I saw a woman I never knew. Maybe, I was just dreaming.

On my 10th birthday, while everyone was busy for my party, I saw an unfamiliar car parked in the drive way in front of our house. A man leaped from the car and came knocking at our door . When I opened it, the man handed me a package as present for my birthday. At first , I considered it was from Papa, but he pointed out the woman inside the car. She's smiling at me. The gift came from her. Even from a distance I read her lips saying "Happy birthday, Denise." I thought she was familiar, a relative maybe, or someone I knew. Minutes later, the car disappeared from the driveway.

That evening, after everyone had gone home, I started opening my gifts. The gift given by that woman caught my attention. It was neatly wrapped in decorative blue paper with silver ribbons on it. Carefully, I unwrapped it.

"And guessed what inside, pretty face," I asked Caroline who was heedfully listening to me from the start as she tossed some vegetables in a mixture of hot chili sauce and satisfied her hunger for a late breakfast.

"You're ten then, right?" I nodded. Caroline continued and said, "maybe a pair of shoes and ...and some real nice dresses."

"Nope," I said and saw her impatient look.

"Just carry on with your story until the end. Don't bother asking questions," she scowled and continued munching her food.

"Yes, your highness," I said teasingly.

When I unwrapped the gift, there, I saw a Bible, along with other books. I thought, what will I do with these? So, I just kept them after flapping over some pages.

That night, I was wondering who she was. I tried so hard to recall where was the first time I saw her, until my recollection led me to the hospital incident and at that particular evening when she carried me in my room. I was very sure then, they were the same woman. From then on, I noticed, I could see her every year in moments the least I expected. But every day, I could feel she's watching me everywhere I go. I could feel someone was following me, as if trying to protect me from any untoward things that might happen somehow.

But these last three years, I haven't seen her again. Although, there were moments, I could see her through somebody else. But, yesterday, she came back in the lab. I was coming closed to her, because I saw her crying for help. She was trying to reach out for me, begging me to help her.  I didn't notice you were dragging me away. Then, I heard you were crying and shouting, that was then that I detected a fire, and saw that woman fell down. I wanted to help her but it was too late...she was eaten up by the fire... a minute later, she's gone. You're right...it was horrible."

"Do you know who's that woman?" Caroline asked while finishing the last slice of bread from her plate.

"No, but I have a feeling, she's my...my mother." I said without any doubt and she seemed unsurprised over my declaration.

"Oh..." She gasped in disbelief and continued, "I thought, you didn't see her? So, how do you know, she's your mom?" She stood up and kept the tray away from the bed and walked towards the table.

"Because she looks exactly like me." When she heard me this, Caroline almost dropped the tray on the floor. Her back was on me but I could imagine her expression. She was silent for a moment. When she sat in front of me, I could sense those curious eyes.

"Do you know, how she died?"

"Yeah...she died giving birth to me. That's what Papa told me when I was young. I felt so guilty knowing it caused her life to make me live.  But there are times,  I have a feeling, there is more I need to know about the way she died. I don't know, I'm not sure yet, maybe they are hiding something from me or maybe I just want to free myself from this guilt."

"Oh... don't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

"But I don't know anything about her.  I feel so incomplete without knowing who she is. That's why I need to know who is my mom."

"I understand how you feel. It's weirdo but interesting. Only, there's one problem."

"What?"

"How will you know what you want to know, if you don't know anyone who knows about your mother whom you do not know in the first place?" I knew Caroline was just trying to lighten the moment.

"Hey, where did you get that? I never know that this pretty face has some brain in there."

"You jerk. How dare you insult me, Denise Romano! That's enough!" Angrily she snatched the pillow from my lap and threw it at my direction. Before it finally landed on me, I jumped off the bed, caught her arms and locked them between mine. We rolled on the floor giggling and tickling each other. In that moment, we became like kids again, forgetting everything - all our fears, sorrows, pains and longing. What matter most at that moment was, we have each other to lean on.

"I love you, Denise."
"I love you too, pretty face."

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