Once In A Lifetime

Chapter 50: The Rainbow

"Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday."

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Lola was laid in the United Believers Chapel where Papa, as I heard, was the assigned minister shepherding its members.

For the past days, I would see him regularly in the wake, attending to everyone who come and go with their condolences. From time to time, when there were only few people present, he would attempt to come close to me but I was quick to evade him the best way possible I could.

There were times, when Caroline or Lolo is with me and there's no way of escape for me, he would come close to us to give us something to eat or drink and leave afterwards. But I won't touch the food even I was already hungry or thirsty. Still, the pride within me was unyielding and stubborn.

Everytime I would do this, Caroline was up for a long litany of reminders.
I was not aware of his reaction but Caroline would tell me that she could see pains and sadness in his eyes.

Despite my rude behavior, Papa would constantly reach out for me. But I had my reasons for not allowing myself to get use in his little acts of kindness.

I needed to disregard him, convinced that what's he's doing was a masquerade, a show in front of people to appear that we're okay or disguise the unhealthy relation between us, knowing that one day, when this phase in our life is over, he'll give​ up on me, leave again, just like what he did when I was young.

He does not care at all, for if he does, he had already find ways to reach out for me when he came back and have me in his life. But he never did. What if Lola didn't die, would he come close to me and want me back in his life?
I dispelled the thought, afraid to discover I might never wrong again when all this thing is over.

The wake seemed endless just like the people who came every night - relatives, friends, my former classmates and teachers in highschool, and many others of whom I didn't even recognize.

I was surprised when Mr. Aragon came along with his children. He was with an old man whom he introduced as his biological father. Then later, I saw them, together with Papa, Lolo and Uncle Luis in serious discussion. But I could never tell what they were talking, although I could sense, it has something to do with me.

There was also a time when Arthur S. came bringing the news that Bianca is already conscious and that classes have already started but since the accident became a big news in the campus, I was excused until I'm ready to come.

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Dark clouds formed in the sky as the mourners gathered in the church for the funeral service that morning. Slowly, the clouds released small splatter of rain as we ferried Lola to the gravesite. Umbrellas formed shelter along the procession amidst the gentle shower.

From the church to the gravesite, the rain never stopped. Somehow I thought, maybe heaven was also crying as Lola would be finally laid to her eternal repose besides Mom's grave.

I heard the minister's voice thundering against the scattering rain.

"John: 11. 25. Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live."

Slowly, after the minister uttered the last verse and prayed, the casket was lowered in the grave while the music was being played.

The minister asked the family and relatives first to offer flowers in the grave. I stood up from my seat, dragged my feet forward and threw the last flower offering I could give to Lola.

Lolo, who was too emotional, was being assisted by Papa and Uncle Luis. They too threw flowers to the grave. I was surprised to see Manang Pacing and Crispin when they appeared from behind them.

I have to accept and start learning that they are indeed part of the family.

Mr. Aragon, his biological father, the Aragon boys and Caroline and few relatives whom I hardly known, followed suit.

Is this some joke? The Aragon Family? Are they real family too? I mean, I treated them as a family by heart, but family by blood - how?

When almost everybody did that rituals, the men started shoveling the dirt. Just like the rain, I never stopped crying when the earth completely covered the coffin, sealing the grave for as long as nobody could tell until that so-called resurrection morning which I heard from the minister a while ago and the previous nights during the wake.

People started to go each way leaving us, still in state of denial. Lolo thanked everyone for sharing in our pain. Papa was standing beside him composed and grateful for all the love, comforts and encouragements each of the visitors extended to us.

Caroline left with her family but she managed to whisper something before she disappeared completely.

"Denise, I'm happy that we are truly a family. Dad said, we're cousins."
Before I could finally ask her for further clarifications, Uncle Luis came and hurriedly, she left.

Uncle Luis, after hugging me several times, bid his goodbye saying,

"I'll be back soon, my child. When I come back, everything will be crystal clear. Take a rest first, okay?" I nodded. How I wished for him to stay to spend moments with him rather than with Papa, but he was needed at once in the monastery.

When I went back on my seat, I noticed the clear sky. The rain had stopped. The sun came out again casting the beam of lights I needed in that darkest moment of my life.

I looked around, everybody was gone. I was wondering what would happen next now that I felt almost all alone with only Lolo and Papa beside me.

Then, I noticed the rainbow and I remembered a promise, one that could not be broken anymore.
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6.22.17