Chapter 38: In Safe Arms

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"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." -Sigmund Freud

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" No one would tell me what to do with my life, so much more if he's a stranger." Denise burst out in anger.

"We are a family, Denise. We'll protect you in every way."

"I don't know. I don't know what to believe. Everyone seems keeping a secret from me. Then suddenly, everything exploded, making my entire life a big lie.

"For many years, I was lost and alone, even if I am surrounded with people who claimed to love me.

"Then, I met you. I thought, I had already found myself because finally, you opened the key to who I am and I came to know Uncle Luis and my mom because of you.

"But now, with everything you told me, I have lost myself even more. I am not who I am." Denise broke in tears. Her knees shuddered with the intensity of emotion coming over her. She gained her support in one corner of the living room as she sat there embracing herself like a child still crying.

Manang Pacing came closer to her. She cupped Denise' face in her hands, shoved the strands of hair covering her face and kissed her cheeks in an attempt to soothe her pain.

"I'm sorry Apo if that's how you feel about it. If only I can go back in time and undo the things I did, I'll do it. And your mom may still be living with us today and you don't need to suffer like this.

"I know, I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I would gladly do everything...yes everything, Apo, to have your forgiveness."

Denise look straight into her eyes. Without any words, she stood up, walked towards the door, turned the knob and without looking back at the old woman left behind her, she said,

"Thank you for saving my life but I can hardly thank you for losing myself. Maybe, one day, when I finally find myself, I may as well come back with the forgiveness you want." Then, she walked away having nothing but a numbed heart.

Outside, the kids were playing happily. She walked past them as if she didn't see them. Suddenly, she heard Karla's voice from behind shouting at her.

"Ate Denise wait... Ate! Ate! Please wait!" She begged but Denise ignored the child.

Crispin standing afar, came to the child and restrained her for running after the receding figure of Denise. She was completely deaf to Karla's cry that morning.

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"Quick, Denise is leaving the house. We need to get her, right away." Mr. Aragon took off his headphone and immediately motioned to get the motorcycle standing nearby.

"I will go ahead at the car. Carlo, you ride with Sam and see you guys at the intersection. I need to catch up on Denise before she takes a ride on the highway and disappear again."

"Okay, Fred. We'll tag along."

Mr. Aragon crossed the grove as fast as he could to the highway where his car was waiting. The two men followed after fixing their things.

On the highway, Mr. Aragon searched for Denise who could possibly be waiting for a ride. But he had been driving for awhile and yet, he could not see Denise. Would it be possible that she take the opposite direction? Mr. Aragon headed the car all the way north passing through the village where the house that became Denise' refuge for the past days was located.

Then from a distant, he saw an approaching car that looked very familiar to him. And he remembered Arturo and his coming visit to the house to see Denise anytime that day. Goddammit. He slammed the steering wheel in anger. It was possible that Arturo spotted Denise along the road, took the girl against her will and bring her back to the house or to another place.

When Mr. Aragon thought of turning the wheels to follow the car, he saw a girl lying on the right side of the road. Oh my God, it's Denise.

He stopped the car, went out and come closer to the unconscious body of the girl lying​ on the ground. He lowered himself to check her breathing. It was irregular and weak.

Under the heat of the sun, slowly he carried her and laid her inside the car. Then Mr. Aragon pulled the car in a rush, glancing once in a while at the back seat to check on Denise.

"Hold on, Denise. Please hold on. Uncle Fred is now here and Caroline is waiting for you. Just hold on dear. You will be safe now." He said as his voice cracked and gave way. Then, he realized, he was teary-eyed, knowing the pitiable life of the girl he treated as a child.

He could still hear the conversation between her and Manang Pacing in his mind. It was so loud that it broke his heart, too, when she said: For many years, I was lost and alone, even if I am surrounded with people who claimed to love me...But now, with everything you told me, I have lost myself even more. I am not who I am.

His heart went out for Denise. He knew very well how it feels to be lost, confused and lonely. He felt the same pain when he was abandoned in the streets as a child not knowing where to go. The only difference is that Denise has a family, a family that had been the reason for her sufferings. While he didn't know his family, if ever he had one, and their absence was the reason for all the pains he had back then.

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Whoa! Got a heavy heart writing​ this chapter. 😢🤧
Thanks for all your support. Comments are welcome. 😇🤗

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