Uta x Reader : Forgive Me

7° Cognizance

{{ you got me on pins and needles

oh, it's not about the lust

you know you got me on pins and needles.}}

"Oh? Its been a while since you've last visited me, ____."

I haven't been around this part of town for weeks. Ever since that night I left his place, I realized I couldn't lie to myself anymore. It's painstakingly true, I'm starting to fall for Uta. No matter how hard I'm trying to convince myself that he's just a friend who understands me more than anyone else, I realize I'm giving myself more reasons to want him. But I refuse to give in, to tell him I want to know the stories behind his black sclera eyes and to teach me more of the new world I forever have to live in. Yet I can't help but feel like it's wrong.

"Yhea, I uh..I've just been keeping myself busy lately. Going to school and doing ghoul.. stuff."

"Well I'm glad you visited me despite the busy schedule."

He looks at me, giving me a small smile. Unable to keep our eye contact longer than 3 seconds, I turn my head away and look around the shop at the new additions. I feel his eyes still looking at me, and to say I feel like prey is an understatement. Never before I felt anxious around him, yet my palms are getting sweaty and I'm trying my best to act casual.

A sudden pressure on my shoulder makes me completely freeze and hold my breath. His head is right next to mine, so close I could hear him breathing softly.

"I missed you,"

I feel his arms around me, gradually tightening.

"so much, _______."

I feel like I can't breathe. I want to push him away and laugh it off with some lame joke. I want to pull him flush against me. I want to say stop this. I want to take the risk. I want to run far from here. I want to-

"Look at me."

He turns me around, then I hear him lightly laugh as I look everywhere else but his eyes.

"Why is your face red? Are you getting sick?"

He places his hand on my forehead,
"Mmm, no. It seems like you're not."

I feel his hand never leaving my face, slowly sliding down to under my chin. Yet, I can't bring it myself to move away. 

"U-channn, do you have any- oooh?"

Itori opened the door with no warning, though a knock would've been nice in wherever this situation was heading. And quite honestly,
I'm too bashful to stay.

"I gotta go."

I run out the door, not looking back at the faces most likely starring at me.

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"I ask myself this every damn time....

WHY DO I VISIT SO LATE AT NIGHT?!"

Shaking my head (smh), I look up at the pitch black sky as I go for a walk to clear my mind. I hate to admit, I feel like a young school girl all over again- the feeling of his eyes on me, his touch, and feeling a flutter in my chest. But if I were him, I wouldn't be interested in someone like me. I'm practically a vulnerable newborn in the ghoul world, and I tend to push people away despite how much I want company.

Immersed in my thoughts, a yell brings me back to reality. Soon after, another yell and the fresh aroma of flesh fills the air-

"Lets go somewhere else."

Around the corner going down the alleyway I see two bodies on the ground, pools of blood staining their clothes red.

"What are you doing out at this time of day?"

To the side I see 2 men in suits,
Doves.

"I..I didn't mean to, I heard screaming and I-"

"Didn't you know curiosity killed the cat? Now tell us why you're really here, normally any young terrified girl would've ran away screaming. (though her eyes haven't changed from the smell)"

"I apologize for getting into what I shouldn't have, it seems you two were...busy"

I look at the bodies and shiver,

"But I appreciate everything you both do, Ireallyshouldn'thavechecked IthinkIshouldgonowgoodnight!"

And with that I run off to the end of the alleyway, heart racing as I head back to my place in hopes my eyes didn't show from fear. I even said I appreciated what they do, a lie that bad makes my stomach turn.

I stop running and slow down my pace eventually to walking, something telling me I wasn't alone. Running away that quickly probably made me too obvious. I head into a dimly lighted store, leaving with a small sandwhich and casually consuming what would probably give me stomach pains later.

{AN: IM SO SORRY ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE MY LAST UPDATE BHUT IM POSTING AGAIN IN 48 HOURS OR LESS.
ive been thinking about how to end it, my sadistic side says gruesome and leave you in tears [idk if i actually can but i can try?] my sane side says normally. maybe 2 endings? either way prepare for more creepy Uta OuO.