Look Closer | Mavi | Dreamingletters & LittleCarokind

23. Clarification

Mitch's P.O.V.

Last night I didn't drink. Last night I didn't do any kind of drug. Somehow, I can't remember past that shower. Avi was amazing, he turned me on where I didn't know there was a switch. I must have been high on the dopamine that he caused my brain to release. I find myself asking again, is this love? Is this what love does to you? It feels like a blur, but a happy blur. Like falling asleep somewhere uncomfortable as a kid and waking up in your bed because your parents carried you. That's what I feel like happened, even though I know we probably just walked back to the bus, had idle conversation, and went to bed.

You know, I've been with a nice handful of guys. A real good chunk. But there's something about Avi. Something that's been developing since we met 5 years ago. An infatuation, a lust that only grew stronger when it discovered that it can't be fulfilled. And now, now that it's finally getting what it wants, it's making me zone out. But in a good way. I'm zoning out, but I know that I'm satisfied. That's got to be what love feels like; when you're happy with someone unconsciously. When loving them takes just the right amount of effort. When you can picture yourself smiling at them from across the room in your rocking chair after aging with them through the life that made you smile.

So basically, I feel good this morning. But I have to keep in mind, I can't let Avi think our relationship is just sex. I need to talk to him, and it's perfect because I've always wanted to use the cliche "We need to talk" on someone.

I wake up fully and step out of my bed. My morning routine is automatic at this point, and I'm usually the last one up so I don't have to wait for anyone to finish theirs. I breeze through it and make my way into the main area of the bus where the group was discussing what we were going to do for the couple hours we had before sound check. Kevin wants to practice his cello, as always. Scott and Kirstie decide to check out the other side of town, looking for places to go shopping, most likely. They invited me, but I refused so that I can spend time with Avi, which they understood. Kevin had the brilliant idea of practicing outside as a little performance for anyone walking past, so Avi and I are once again left alone.

"I think we should talk" I say in a cheery, but absolute tone.

"Sure, about what?" Avi replied, unsure of what I was wanting to discuss.

"I just wanted to establish where we are as a couple."

"Oh, I thought you were gonna dump me! Thank god!" He blurts out with a huff.

"No! Of course not Daddy, last night was perfect. I was just thinking about us and how much you mean to me. I wanted to talk about it." I explain, to his relief.

"You mean the world to me, Mitchie. You're my angel. I may have said I love you too early, but I've been thinking about that. Is it really too early if we've known each other for 5 years? If I know anything about love, it's that it's not about sex, it's about the connection you have with the person. I've felt a connection with you for a very long time. So when I think about it, I sincerely meant, and still mean it when I say that I love you."

I'm tearing up a bit at this point. How can a furry goofball like him be so eloquent?

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Avi. I wanted to show you something" I start, pulling out my phone. Avi looks at the screen as I scroll through my apps, looking for a specific one. "I won't be needing this anymore" I say, as I delete tinder.

"That was the most millennial thing you could have done to be cute. You can make anything cute though." He replied, looking up at me with those sea foam green orbs.

"You can make anything sexy with that voice of yours." I wink back at him, leaning in for a kiss.

We kiss for a solid amount of time, probably longer than we should have, because Kevin has stopped playing his cello outside and almost walked in on us before we noticed.

"How are you two lovebirds doing? You're not sinning in here, are you?" Kevin jokingly asks us.

"Sinning? I would never!" I reply, feigning shock with my hand limply placed on my chest.

"Yeah, if you saw us touching each other it's because we were having a tickle fight!" Avi quickly added, tickling my side frantically as I squirm viciously.

"No!!! Stop! I HATE it!" I yell at him as Kevin looks on with a dismissive chuckle. He walks away shaking his head.

"What if I don't want to stop?" Avi quips, smiling widely.

"I'll get you back." I say angrily through my teeth. What I wasn't expecting was that Avi, this burly, masculine, man's man, would be even more ticklish than me. I got in a half second of side tickling and he completely submitted, begging me to stop. I'm going to have fun with this. I straddle his hips and tickle him harder, at this point he's flailing.

"Never tickle me again, okay?" I prompt him, pausing for a response.

"Okay." He giggles back. "That didn't sound very sincere" I remark, tickling him more.

"Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll never tickle you again, I promise!" He desperately yells.

"Good, now give me a hug." I finish, gently wrapping my arms around him.

"I still love you." He whispers in my ear.

"I still love you too" I whisper back.

"You two are so cute, it's gross." Kevin comments, walking into the same section of the bus as us.

"We know" we reply in unison.

"I'm glad we had that talk" Avi says, turning his head towards me.

"Me too. Now let's kill it tonight! I'm excited!" Avi slyly brushes his hand across my jeans.

"You're telling me."

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A/N: Updating this part by Dreamingletters from work. It's too cute and I don't want to make you all wait. ;) Hope you liked it as much as I do!