Dear Diary,
I'm pleased to inform you that the terrifying beast that Potter and Fry so intelligently provoked has refrained from instilling more terror onto our souls. However, his minion is still being held captive in our closet. Worry not about him, for he is fed and clothed.
Moving on from that rather boring information, you (yes, I am referring to a journal as you, for I cannot deny that you are my closest confidant) will not believe what happened today. Heavens, I don't believe it myself, for it was one of the most wondrous experiences of my short pathetic life.
I went to work today, as I normally do on a Monday and for whatever mysterious reason, I was called to the big boss' office. She's a rather intimidating carrot, tall and she dresses like the most uptight person I've ever met (yes, I'm quite sure that she's a she this time). She then proceeds to tell me in her scratchy voice that 'Spater, you've only been here for a short while, but I feel that you've been doing a brilliant job compared to some of our more experienced staff, and for this reason, I'm moving you to a higher position.' She continued to discuss my pay raise and all those trivial matters, but it is not my promotion that excites me so.
I've been moved to Tomasso's division. The difficulty of keeping myself composed cannot be stressed further. To put it into simpler terms, I was dying of sheer joy. I'm gonna go to work everyday, and instead of catching glimpses of him a couple times, I can stare at him from across the room. In a completely platonic way, of course. And I'll do it while I'm working. I'm not going to neglect important matters because of this. Of course not.
-Spater McStarch
YOU ARE READING
The Diary of a Potato
RandomSpater McStarch was a normal potato, with a normal life, and a normal family. He was completely, utterly normal - in every sense of the word. Unfortunately for Spater, the world has bigger plans for the young potato who spent his entire life on a fa...
