Chapter Sixteen

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Double update! I'm on a roll today (Ps there is going to be a pattern with the POVs...)

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*Rainey's POV*

    The train was empty because no one wanted to get a train for over an hour at nearly one a.m, but it didn't really bother me. I was so bummed about leaving and felt so fucking miserable. Lucy had tried to cheer me up but stopped after realising that it was no use. The thing was, I wasn't the only sad one, Luce was feeling pretty shitty too. It seemed more than what she said, which was "post concert depression", she looked genuinely upset about leaving, too.

    I put my legs up on the seat and looked out the window. There was nothing but bright lights from signs and lampposts and the coldness from the outside managed to somehow find its way to my skin, making me shiver. 

    I tried to push the thought of warmth to the back of my mind, because the comparison to this made everything much worse. 

    "Tonight," Luce said, breaking the non-awkward silence. "was incredible."

    I nodded my head and kept my eyes glued to the window. 

    "You won't be stuck here, Rainey." She said, noticing my ignorance. "You're going to be able to live there soon and-" 

    I turned to her and she stopped as soon as she saw the tears in my eyes. 

    "I don't want to go home." I cried.

    "I know you don't but it won't be for long." She tried.

    I shook my head, not accepting it. It wasn't as simple as that. It wasn't about how long it would be, it was about so much more.

    I was scared to go home and forget about everything that happened tonight. I was scared to get pushed back down to the ground by my family and I was scared for more excuses to be thrown at me about why I can't be myself.

    I hated everything about where I lived. I hated England, actually. My grandparents would always tell me that it was the people who made it the way it was, not the actual place, but I wouldn't let myself believe it. I kept reminding myself that I didn't belong in this place, whether it was the people or not. I didn't care.

    "I need to get out." I could barely speak.

    Lucy lived in a stable family, with two parents and a brother that all lived on the higher class side. I wasn't saying that I was lower class or anything, I was just implying that she was much more posh than me. 

    Her family owned a large house in one of the nicest place within fifteen miles of me and then another home somewhere in England by the coast, which she went to at summer time.

    Anyway, Luce had never understood what a dysfunctional family, not because she was stupid, but because she had never really been around someone in that position. 

    Luce met me and after months of talking at college, we became really close friends and we would tell each other a lot! She knew about my family and was always the one I would turn to for help because then I wouldn't get one-uped. Her issues were, most of the time, completely different from mine so we would never have problems comparing.

    Her friendship meant a hell of a lot to me and I couldn't have imagined my college experience without her because she pretty much kept me going.

    "Devon just asked whether we were back yet." Luce said, looking at her phone.

    I looked down at the phone and noticed a whole conversation up on the screen.

    "How long have you been talking for?" I asked, curiously.

    "When we first got on the train." She said.

    I pulled my phone out and turned the screen on to see no notifications.

    "Zach is okay, he's just resting." Lucy continued.

    I nodded my head and unlocked my phone, going onto the my photo gallery. The last photos saved were the ones with the girls. We all looked so happy and I felt sick again. 

    I continued to go through the pictures to see the ones of the stage and the photos of Zach. There were ones of him concentrating and there were others where he was just looking at the crowd. I stopped scrolling when I saw the one of him looking straight at me, followed by one of him smiling. That was the one I put on my instagram.

    The screen eventually went dark and I went to put it back in my bag, when I noticed the tickets on the paper, where he had signed. I completely forgot.

    "He really likes you, Raine." Luce said, just as I pulled the sheets out. 

    I stared at her and she offered me a kind smile. I quickly hugged her and then retrieved to my sitting position. 

    She watched me for a moment but then she put her head back onto the seat, closing her eyes and shuffling around to get comfortable.

    I quietly opened the sheet of paper and flattened the corners with my fingers. 

    My eyes stared at the words and my breathing fastened up, along with my heart beat.

    You are flawless, Rainey. 


    

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