2:56 :: h.s

quarante six

11:35

"Hey, Harry!" I hear Ryan shout behind me.

I stop walking to lunch and turn around.

Ryan catches up to me and starts walking along side me, "where did you go Saturday? You disappeared."

I take a deep breath and look at the faces passing my me.
I feel like I was stepped on by a horse.
I spent about two seconds getting myself ready this morning and actually looked at myself in my rear-view mirror.
I look like someone sucked the life out of me.

Someone has.

"I felt a little sick. I didn't want it to get worse then have people worry about me, so I left. Sorry, man. I should've let you know," I explain.

He shrugs, his tone light, "nah, dude. I get it. Yeah, we noticed that you didn't come back. I looked outside ad saw your car was gone. I didn't want to text you and get all up in your business, and I knew I'd see you today. So I didn't really see the point in texting you."

Ryan laughs and I chuckle uncomfortably.

"Hey, if you're up for it, I'm having my graduation party after the ceremony. If you wanna come, you can. I don't know if you're having your own party and whatnot."

I stop in front of my table and set my stuff down.

"I'll let you know," I tell him.

He smiles, "sweet. Text me."

::

15:23

Rae and I walk down the path.
Her fingers are laced through mine.
Her thumb runs across my knuckles.
My hand is numb, but I don't mind.

The sun shines through the leaves of the trees, casting a shadow upon us.
The spring air is warm.
Butterflies glide through the air and occasionally rest on flowers.
The smell of honeysuckle fills the dusty pathway.
The color of green is overwhelming and adds nostalgia to the once dark and ominous forest.

I look to the girl next to me.
Her skin is pure white with purple webs tainting the crisp, clean porcelain.
Her eyes reflect the sun, adding to the illusion of my love being a doll instead of a human.
Her dark attire contrasts with the bright sun.
The heat is being pulled from about us to attempt and warm her.

She's beautiful in a dark way.

We make our way to the swing and Rae sits on the wooden board.
I stand in front of her and she sways back and forth.
Rae smiles up at me and pushes a piece of hair out of my face.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," I say.

She shrugs, "it's alright. I was the one who left for a week."

I kiss her forehead, "I love you."

"I love you."

I sit down in front of her and rest back on my forearms.
I can feel Rae's eyes on me but I don't say anything.

"I miss that," she says quietly.

"Miss what?"

"Feeling."

I sigh and a weight falls on my chest.
I know she means the sun and all of the other good things in life.
Not the pain she's grown accustom to.

"I went to Ryan's last weekend." I say and look at her.

"Why?" She plays with a dandelion she picked from the grass.

"He invited me. He also invited me to go to his graduation party on Saturday."

Her eyes avert from the fluff of seeds, "are you going?"

I shrug, "I don't know what my mom has planned. I probably won't since I don't know anyone."

She nods.

"Is it weird that your ex-boyfriend and I are hanging out?"

"No, I figured you would end up being friends. You're a lot alike."

I sigh and lay back on the ground.

"You're better than him. You treat me the way I think I deserved. Hell, I'm dead and you love me. Ryan didn't even love me when I was alive."

It's heartbreaking.
Listening to her talk about how she never felt loved when she was alive.
She deserved to be loved though.
She still does.

"How was your adventure?"

She shrugs.

A breeze glides through the trees and blows on the dandelion.
The white seeds fly off into the wind and I can't help but feel that Rae leaves with them.