2:56 :: h.s

dix

20:23

Rae and I are walking down my street, headed toward some woods nearby.
I have a beanie, a t-shirt with a sweatshirt over it, jeans, and my boots on.
It's freezing and standing less than a foot away from a dead girl isn't helping.

"You're, like, an inanimate object, right?" I ask, trying not to be offensive.

She gives me a quizzical look, "I mean, I guess?"

"So if I, like, rubbed my hand on your arm, it'd be warm?"

"Maybe?" She says unsurely.

"Can I try?" I ask with a hopeful smile.

Rae steps over a branch and I trip on it.

It's so dark, how can she see anything?
She's probably walked down this path many times.
Too many times.

She rolls her eyes and raises her arm, "knock yourself out."

After thirty seconds of rubbing my hand over her forearm as fast as I can, her skin is warm and feels almost lifelike.

"Did it work?" She asks.

I'm smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, "yeah! Can't you feel it?"

"No," she says sadly.

I drop her arm and hold the bottom of my sweatshirt sleeves.
I can't begin to imagine what it must be like not being able to feel anything.
I stare at the ground in front of me.
My eyes have adjusted to the darkness and I can faintly see things now.

"It sucks, honestly. Not being able to feel anything. The first thing I thought when I was in your room, was how badly I wanted to touch your blanket. Like, that thing is probably so soft," her laugh is sad.

It's silent for a moment.
I want to comfort her and tell her that it's okay.
But how do you comfort someone who can't feel?

"It is soft," I say, trying to lighten the mood.

She smiles at me. "I thought so."

After walking for a few more minutes, I begin to wonder where in the world we're going.

"Where are we going?" I check the time on my phone, "it's almost nine."

Rae glances at me and shrugs, "somewhere. It's not much farther."

I roll my eyes. "Are you going to tell me what 'somewhere' is."

"Nope," she says, trying to hide her smile.

I cross my arms over my chest, "whatever."

Five minutes later, I see a swing.
There isn't anything within a ten foot radius of the tree it hangs from.
Rae moves some dead grass and limbs out of the way to get inside.
I follow her and notice a blanket laying on the ground.

Is this where she stays?

"I put the blanket down so my clothes don't get dirty. It's kind of stupid but if I'm going to be stuck in this 'in between' for awhile, might as well try and look decent." She shrugs.

"'In between'?" I question.

She nods, "it's what I call the place I'm in. I'm not living, but I'm also not entirely dead. Like, my body is in the ground and I don't breathe, but my spirit is still here in a tangible form."

"Hm, that's actually really cool." I say and sit down with her on the blanket.

"What is?" She lays down.

I stay seated and put my arms on my knees. "Just how you described where you are. You should give it a name so you can get money for it when it's used in movies and shit."

I look back at her and she sits up on her elbows, "and what would I use this money I'm going to earn for? A car? A house?"

"Eh, I was thinking more of a new headstone or something."

Her eyes widen and a loud cackle follows.
She falls onto the ground and covers her face with her hands.
Her body shakes with laughter.
I begin laughing with her and she places her hand on her chest.

"I can't believe you just said that!" She shouts.

I shrug, "I haven't seen your headstone, but after hearing how your parents were, it's probably really shitty."

She calms down from her laughing fit and rolls onto her side. "You're not wrong. It just says 'Juila Rae Jones, Taken from us too soon' or some stupid saying like that. Like, what the fuck does that even mean? I wasn't taken, I left."

I chuckle and lay down next to her.
My back is starting to hurt.

"Why didn't you tell me your name was Julia?" I look at her.

She shrugs, "no one ever called me Julia except for my parents. And even that was on occasion. It seemed stupid to tell you. Not only that, I've only talked to you three times."

I nod. "That makes sense."

I put my hands behind my head and look up.
The sight is unbelievable.
We're so far into these woods that the stars are more visible than ever.
The moon isn't in the sky tonight, making the stars brighter.
I can see why she chose this spot.
If I could never sleep, I'd want to look at this too.

"This is incredible," I say softly.

"It is, isn't it? You know, when I was alive, I was so plugged into my phone and all of my material items that I never appreciated this. During different seasons and different months the stars change positions, they come and go, new constellations appear. But they're always there, just not where we are. And I think that is so much cooler than anything that could show up on my phone."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes.