2:56 :: h.s

vingt

14:18

My father and I haven't said a word since I got in the car two hours ago.
I've been looking out the window, ignoring him completely.
Each time he tries to speak, his words come out as squeaks and he gives up.

Fourteen more hours of this.
Great.

I want to go back to my mum's.
This is such bullshit.
My father cheated on my mother and she is making me stay with him.
I'll admit, I'm excited to see my old friends, but being stuck in a car for sixteen-plus hours is the last thing I want to do.

My father stops for gas and I reach into the backseat for my bag.
I know I packed my headphones, I just have no idea where.
I open the side pocket and see my underwear.

Did I shove them in here?

I look in every pocket and can't seem to find them.
I feel the pockets on my jeans and they're not there.

I swear to God, if I left them in my room . . .

I move a shirt out of the way and see them.
I let out a sigh of relief and throw my bag into the back.
My father opens his door and climbs in.

"Whoo! Boy, is it chilly!" He says nonchalantly.

I put one of my headphones in my ear and glare at him.
He looks over at me and loses his smile at my expression.
He sighs.

"Do you seriously fucking expect me to talk to you after you ruined our family?" I growl.

He takes a deep breath, "I don't know what to do, son. I can't take what I did back, but I wish I could. I've apologized to your mother so many times and I begged her to stay. I didn't want you to move sixteen hours away. I never wanted anything to fall apart."

"You should have that about all of that before you buried yourself in your twenty-year-old secretary."

"Harry!" He shouts.

"Shut the fuck up! You knew the amount of pain Mum was going through! Why didn't you fucking try and comfort her? She was a fucking wreck and you only thought of your goddamn self!"

"I am your father. You will not speak to me that way!"

"I have no respect for a man who cheats on his wife. Especially after she nearly died in a car accident. So, I'm going to speak to you however the hell I please."

My father's breathing is heavy and his jaw is clenched.
My mind goes back to Rae and what she told me in the woods.

"I don't even remember what it's like to smell a rose."

I bite on my bottom lip. "Stop breathing so hard."

He snaps his head to me, "what?"

"Stop breathing so hard," I growl.

My father looks at me like I'm crazy, rolls his eyes, and puts the car in drive.