A night with you

Night 6

Night 6:

Juami:

Here I am sitting at the balcony in my room, waiting for Von and Kiefer's text. I connected my headset on my phone and put my playlist in shuffle. The first song that played made me think of the stupidest decision I made back then. I closed my eyes and the past came rushing back then tears started to fall from my eyes. This song is tailor made for me.

•Sometimes a man has to choose

And do something he doesn't wanna do

Do I live my life with you as my wife

Or do I go on and pursue my lifetime dream

I gotta do this for me

Cause if I don't I'll probably regret it

But if I do I'll probably regret it

How do I cope•

That stanza. It's really for me. I was confused, I can't think straight. As in sobrang gulong gulo na talaga ang utak ko. I don't what to choose between the girl that I love the most and my dream to be a basketball player. Ayaw ko mang mamili but I have to.

"Juami, you will be the team captain next year." Coach Norman said to me when were talking in his office, "I want you to focus. Set aside first your lovelife."

"But Coach..." I protested. Ang hirap naman kasi ng pinagagawa niya eh.

"I know you love Brianna so much, Juami." he replied quickly, "Being the team captain comes with a lot of responsibilities. Day will come that you'll lose time for her or you have to choose between her and training. If you really want to have a career in this industry you have to listen to me. I know it won't be easy for you to do what I asked you to do but you really have to, boy. This is for your own good not for me. Brianna loves you and I know she'll understand it. Make her your inspiration even though you are not together anymore and when you are already successful in your career and you realize that you still love her, go back to her. Always remember this Juami, if you are really meant for each other even you guys got separated for the longest time you'll eventually find your way back to each other's arm."

I heaved out a deep sigh. How am I supposed to tell her this? Halos kakasimula palang namin tapos iiwan ko na siya agad. Ang hirap! Do I really need to make my decision now? I love Brianna so much that I could not hurt her but I also love basketball. Basketball is my life even before she came into my life. Coach Norman and my teammates need me. Ang bigat ng responsibility na ibinibigay nila sa'kin, hindi ko alam kung makakayanan kong pagsabay sabayin lahat. I've made up my mind. I hope I won't regret choosing this...

•How do you cope when

The one you love is with somebody else

And there's nothing you could do about it

How do you deal with

The fact that you had a chance

But you chose to turn away for your career

I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'

It's something that I had to do

But nobody said that it would hurt so bad

So how do I live... How do I deal without you...•

That's the worst part- seeing her with somebody else or should I say with Jed. Sobrang sakit as in sagad talaga. It really breaks my heart. Kahit sobrang mahal na mahal ko parin siya wala akong magawa kasi ako yung nangiwan eh, hindi naman siya. If I only knew that I'd be miserable and I'd get hurt like hell I would've chosen her over basketball. I admit, that was my biggest regret. If only I could turn back the time, I swear hindi yun ang magiging desisyon ko.