Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It has been two days since I've seen Thayer in that room, getting whipped for something I still don't know about. I am currently sitting inside the cafeteria for breakfast looking at the door every now and then hoping that Thayer would finally show up.
My food remains untouched, and I have been here since half an hour ago.
I passed by Annika's room earlier. Her door was open by that time and nurses are rushing in and out of her room. I heard her voice though, so it's not like she died. I didn't get much glimpse because Mike was already ushering me towards the cafeteria.
I feel alone without Thayer to talk to here. It's strange, but talking to the other patients is different from when I'm talking with Thayer. The other patients all talk about their unhappy thoughts, and it's kind of contagious, which is bad.
I haven't spoke to Mike since that night, and he's not trying to talk to me either. So I guess, I need to abort the plan of wanting to ask for his help.
Maybe Thayer was right, trusting the sanitarium staffs is clearly not an option.
I played with my food not really having the appetite to eat. A patient near my table is laughing at herself, the other girl far from the room is playing at her hair, whispering things that only she can understand. I sigh finally pushing my plate farther from me as I lean against the chair.
The door to the cafeteria opens and damn my mind for hoping that that would be Thayer finally walking into the room. But unfortunately, it was just a nurse.
I look around the place and I just really want to get back in my room and just sleep. I didn't realize until now that I would miss Thayer's presence during canteen hours or therapy session hours. I miss his cheeky remarks about the nurses and other staffs. I miss his constant teasing.
Heck I even miss when he tells me about his plan on escaping, I miss his deep accent, his dimples. I just miss getting along with another patient in here. Because clearly, there's no patient in here that I can really talk to.
It's not like I can't really talk to anybody, maybe I just refuse to be involved in any conversations with some of them because I admit, hearing them talk about ending their lives kind of makes me think about mine too, and I know that it's wrong that's why I refuse to be associated with their thoughts.
✂------------------------------------------
"Where's Thayer?" I can't help but ask Mike that afternoon in the courtyard. The other nurses are looking at us, probably waiting for me to lash out on him and for them to come in to rescue.
Mike shakes his head, "I don't know, okay?"
I was about to ask him more but he already turns around and leave before I could even utter a single word. Rude.
What is his deal actually? Because the last time I checked we were friends. Or so I thought.
"What's wrong with you?!" I couldn't help but shout at him. The other guards looked at me alarmed, but they don't have to worry because I am not planning on doing anything. And damn Mike, he didn't even stop to look at me. He just continued heading for the door. I sigh exasperated and headed for the bench.
Surprisingly, Annika is sitting on the next bench next to mine. She's with another patient, but contrary to her usual self, she's just idly sitting there with hands entwined together, and she's silent. Her face is blank, so I can't really read her expression.
There are fresh scars on her cheek and I remember the scream from a girl two nights ago. So maybe it was really her.
I stand up without any second thoughts and heads for her direction. When I finally got in front of her, she looks up at me still with the expressionless face she has on.
"H-hey," I greet her, but she didn't respond, she just looked at me with that expressionless face.
"D-did... did they hurt you?" I ask. This must have caught her attention because the moment that question left my mouth, she looked at me frightened. Her hands starts trembling, the flower I didn't notice she had been holding falls onto the ground.
"Annika," I call out her name. I want to pat her back but I'm too afraid to do so. So I just stand there awkwardly and a bit frightened and alert with whatever she might do.
She nods. It's all the response that I got from her so I ask another question.
"Do you know where.." I trailed off, "where Thayer is?"
She snaps her head at me squinting her eyes. Her blank expression from earlier is now replaced with a frightened one.
"Don't talk to me" she says, her hands still trembling.
"But I just want to know," I urge the question. She didn't answer me so I repeated my question. She averts her gaze and is not paying attention. I attempted to ask her again, "where's Thayer?"
This time, she covers her ears with her hands shaking her head. She's mouthing words so fast I don't understand it, but I think it's between the lines of leave-me-alone-oh-my-gosh-leave-i'm-crazy. It occurred to me that she's more like talking to her own self.
She stands up whispering words and I realized that I wouldn't get any answers from her. My hope about knowing where Thayer might be suddenly vanishes, almost like it suddenly got swallowed by a quicksand.
I was about to turn around and leave when I bumped into a figure behind me. I turn around to come face to face with Dr. Jean.
"Is there any problem in here Ms. Richards?" she asks in a sweet tone but I know better than to fall for it.
"Nope," I answer blankly. I decided to turn on my heels and go back to the bench I was sitting at moments earlier when Dr. Jean grabs my arms quite harshly.
"Oh not so fast, darling," she whispers in my ear. Goosebumps rises on my skin and it's definitely not in a good way. I try to get away from her grip but her hold is too strong.
"I know what you're planning," she continues, "and I know that you're looking for your boyfriend. But I am telling you, you'll never get away with it. It's already finished before you even started."
"He's not my boyfriend," I feel obligated to correct her with that first, "and I am not planning anything. We are not."
She raises her eyebrows at me and smirks, she finally break free from my arms and is about to leave when she decides to add, "He's a psychopath honey, don't get involved."
She left me hanging in the air with much more questions in mind. I remember their exchange of words back in that room last week. I didn't get the chance to ask Thayer about that. Who knows if I will ever get one.
Thayer had just told me about him being accused, I was so delved into my own mystery that I haven't even bothered to ask him for details about that. Maybe I should have.
I haven't realized I was just standing there idly until Mike comes up to me and gestures towards the door back inside the sanitarium. Still dazed in my thoughts, I followed him back to my room with one mission inside my mind.
Before I think about getting my records, I should find - and maybe save - Thayer first.
