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My legs feels weak.
I'm trying so hard not to collapse right then and there on the floor. I tried so hard to walk towards the car, drive back to Thayer's apartment without losing it all. But it's too hard, and I feel my insides turning, I feel like throwing up. My eyes are so heavy inside my head and my vision all blurry.
Just when I thought I have all the truths that I need. Just when I thought I have a family.
I couldn't hold it any longer, and before I knew it, I was on the ground, shaking.
"Scarlett!"
"Scar!"
Mike and Thayer immediately went out of the car, Mike is already craddling me in his arms, drawing circles on my back, just like what he always did back in the sanitarium.
"What happened?" Thayer asked from behind, sounding concerned and a mixture of confused.
I tried to open my mouth and say something, only for it to get closed again as I tried to fight the pathetic sobs that I'm creating. I'm pretty sure my eyes were more than bloodshot by now.
"Scar, talk to us," Mike said, making me face him, them, "tell us what happened."
"I-I," I couldn't get the words out. It wasn't because I'm adopted that really hurt me, but it was because my own biological mother despised me to decide that we should be given away, even before I was born. She must have sensed that I'd be growing up to be a fucked up one.
Despite of the cold weather, I still feel hot all over and not in the good way. I don't think I'll ever feel everything in a good way. I don't think my life would ever be normal or whatsoever. I just want to give up, sleep, and stop feeling.
"Come on, let's get to the car," Thayer said, "then after we get in, you'll tell us exactly what happened or whatever you found out. Not being insensitive, but the longer we stay here, the higher the chance that someone might see us and get us caught."
We all stood up from the ground, with Thayer and Mike both assisting me. Both afraid that I might lose it again. When we reached the car, the words came tumbling out of my mouth without me even realizing it. It was like my mind can't hold it in any longer and my heart is giving up.
"I'm adopted."
✂------------------------------------------
"Water would be fine, thanks," Mike said to the waitress, wearing a mini-skirt and a t-shirt, probably two years of existing and wasn't even able to cover up most of her skin anymore.
I pulled my hood over my head closer, and Thayer and Mike did too. Both ensuring that their sunglasses are as unshady as possible.
"So, this whole being adopted thing," Thayer cleared his throat, lowering his voice, "and your biological mom is actually a doctor?"
