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First thing I notice the moment I wake up is the smell of seemingly delicious food outside. I squinted my eyes rubbing the sleep out of it. I put on my slippers and stand up from my bed.
Strange.
It's strange because I feel the soft mattress from where I am previously laying down at. When I finally focused my vision around the room, another strange thing happened, or I see, rather.
The walls are painted pink, with a slight hint of lavender. There's a window at the left corner of the room, a table with lampshade. My bed is so different from the one I remember sleeping in last night.
This isn't my room at the asylum. This is a room, a normal teenage girl's room.
I hear giggling outside. I stand up and headed for the door still confused.
Where exactly am I?
I open the door and is greeted by a very different surrounding. A home. With someone cooking delicious breakfast, a nice bedroom with soft mattress. I walk down the stairs and the giggles sounded nearer and nearer. As I round up the corner to what seems like the kitchen area, I see a figure sitting on a chair, with her back turned to me. I hesitate walking up to her, but I figured that I should do it.
As I am walking close to where the figure is sitting at, it suddenly turned around to face me, "hey there you are."
I wake up feeling a bit lightheaded, still with my previous dream floating around my head. I didn't even get the chance to remember or even see the face of the figure who was there because ironically, I had to be woken up by my own self before that even happen.
What was that about?
It sure was a strange dream, but I actually would rather prefer it than having nightmares, which in fact puts me into trouble sleeping.
Maybe what I dreamt about has something to do with my life outside the sanitarium before?
Or maybe not. After all, I remember Dr. Collins saying that 'dreams are usually true, but not just in the way we thought it was'.
Oh screw it.
My room door opens and Mike peeks inside and then finally gets in after a few seconds. I smile at the sight of him and pats the seat next to my bed.
I've been so grateful for Mike over the course of five days now. Mainly because for being such a wonderful nurse a patient could ever have, and also for being an amazing friend. But the most important thing is because he had been helping me sneak out of my room in the middle of the night to go and see Thayer.
Speaking of Thayer, he had been out of the clinic the day after I first saw him all bruised up. But, the thing is, they won't let him out of his room. He'd been eating his food there, he' not even allowed to join into the therapy sessions and also art sessions and it isn't really great not having him there. Especially because Dr. Jean had always been giving me this knowing look. I hate that doctor.
So basically, Thayer and I's conversations are only through midnight sneak ups, thanks to Mike.
And as to our 'escape plan', we haven't made any progress yet, but we'll get into that later.
"So dinner will be an hour from now," Mike says taking a seat on the empty space beside me.
"I really want to thank you for everything," I tell him.
He waves his hands off, "no that's nothing."
"It really is so kind of you to do that," I say interlacing my fingers together, "and to think about the fact that I never asked you to do that but you did anyway. You are such a great friend."
"Well," he clears his throat, "I think you deserve it."
"You're being so nice can I hug you?" I say, but it's more like just an expression that's why I was flabbergasted when Mike suddenly did hug me.
It was a nice feeling to be honest, "I was just kidd-"
"I love you."
"What?" I laughed, almost choking on my own saliva. Did I hear that wrong?
We both let go of each other's hug -- him just happening to be faster to let go -- he clears his throat for the second time at this hour.
"What, again?" I ask him playfully punching him on the shoulders, "Did I hear it right?"
"I just wanted to say that you remind me a lot about my sister," he stammers, "I got to get going now."
I'm pretty sure that wasn't what I heard a few moments ago. But he's already opening the door before I could even say anything else. So I just dropped it.
Maybe I'm just hearing things though, after all, my current dream is still lingering through my mind at this moment.
✂-------------------------
Mike comes over an hour after and he escorted me through the cafeteria. He's not saying anything, and I couldn't find anything to say either. The fact that this silence between us isn't really comforting at all is making me want to go back to my room.
"Hey," I say trying to sound as cheerful as possible.
I don't want things to get weird, and I am seriously hoping that what I heard wasn't exactly what he said. And there's a good chance that I just misheard things earlier, because, 1. who would love a mental patient? 2. there's really no chance and 3. go back to number 1 and 2. And 4. Maybe he meant it as like a friendly thing.
We finally reached the cafeteria and he walks me up to the spot where I always sit at, "hey, about earlier, just forget what I said, it really is nothing."
I nod wanting to get rid of the uneasiness between us. I shot him a smile and so did he. And just like that, whatever strange thing that happened earlier quickly subsided.
I proceed onto my seat as Mike stands in the corner with two other nurses, talking about something only they know about. There aren't any other patient's here by this time, I wonder why.
As I take a bite on my dinner, my mind floats once again towards my dream this afternoon. I wonder if it has something to do with me when I was a child. Is it possible?
Problem is, it's just a dream, and I certainly couldn't go back to it now and see what happens. I couldn't just play it again because it was a dream. It vanishes after you wake up.
Ugh, I wish I had the chance to see who's figure that belongs to before I wake up. It's so unfair. All these dreams and nightmares that I am having, still there's no possible answer to what brought my parents to leave me in here.
It won't even let me remember anything that had happened before my life in here.
Seriously, is this some sort of an amnesia or something?
I take a sip on my cup of water and lean myself against the cold metal chair. My hands are aching to find those papers now. I really need Thayer to be out in his room right now, it's so hard sneaking for just like thirty-minutes every midnight. And plus, it's getting risky for Mike too. The least thing I want to happen is for him to lose his job just because he's helping me.
And I don't want him to lose his job for a reason that no one would be able to be my friend again if he ever leaves. I mean I don't think the nurses would help me as much as Mike does.
I just wish Thayer and I could figure this out sooner.
