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"Where have you been?" is the first thing I asked Mike not being able to mask the worry and irritation in my tone. He looks a bit lost and he's like trying to hide something, "what's wrong?"
He looks at the old lady nurse and nods, the old lady offers him a small smile as she went out the clinic. Mike on the other hand, pulls a chair next to my bed and sits himself down on it now looking at my direction, "I apologize, but something came up."
"Something like what exactly?" I ask again. I am in no way in need of anymore secrets or anything. Like I said, I'm getting so damn tired of being clueless.
"I can't tell you yet," he answers now avoiding my gaze.
"Please Mike," pleading visible in my tone, "I can't take anymore secrets or truth never being told. I'm too tired of not knowing things."
"I know, I know,.. but," he hesitates as he sits there, playing with his fingers.
"But what? What secrets does this freaking place has to offer?"
"Just trust me on this one, okay?"
I sigh, closing my eyes deeply and drawing out a long exhausted breath, "How can I trust you? Tell me how? When we're all okay and everything seems to flow so smoothly and then the other day you'll disappear out of nowhere without any warning. And then the moment I see you, I call out to you and then you'd just look at me and then leave, making me appear much more lunatic than what everyone already think I am. Tell me how can I trust that you'd never bail?"
"I knew this would happen," he says, shaking his head, "but Scar, you really should trust me on this one. I swear. I'll figure everything out sooner or later. Just please, don't loose your trust."
I didn't answer and with that single yet strong and tensed silence that surrounded us, it is like I am being trapped inside a room where I don't have any idea what would happen next. If I'd ever see the sun shine outside or if I'm going to rot inside there forever.
I feel like giving up. I'm even surprised that I even made it this far. I'm so surprised at myself for being strong enough not to just breakdown in tears and completely lose myself. I'm so surprised that, just like what Thayer had said, I still act normal compared to the other patients in here after being locked up in here for like 8 years.
"How's your plan of escape with Thayer?" he asks sensing that I wouldn't be talking for another second.
I shake my head at his direction as my eyes travels onto the faded-white ceiling, "I bailed. I can't do it, or at least I don't think I can."
He looks surprised, "Don't do that. Please, consider it."
"Consider it so what? You can already get rid of me? So that you'd have one less patient to attend to?"
"What's the matter with you?" he snaps obviously annoyed with my inconsistency.
I don't know, maybe I'm just all worn out. I didn't mean to, but with all these problems inside my head, I don't think my brain ever functions rightly anymore.
"I'm sorry, I was just... I'm just so tired of all of these," I apologize and a few seconds later, tears starts to escape my eyes and run their way down my cheeks.
Mike stands up from his seat as he wraps his arms around me, drawing circles on my back trying to comfort me, but I don't think I could be comforted, but somehow, it's nice to have someone to cry to. It makes me feel like I'm not alone, and somehow, the world is still good.
"Just go on with the plan," he whispers as I sob still wrapped around his arms, "and then when everything's fine and polished, I'd tell you what I found out. And then I'd help you two escape."
I nod, and then he straightens up as I pull out of his embrace. And that's when I notice a long scar visible on his right arm.
"Where'd you get that?" I ask quickly taking his arm near me to examine it but then releasing it later as soon as he flinches a bit at the contact, "Did something happen? Did they?"
"It is nothing," he lies.
"Mike," I say sternly, "I may be a mental patient but I wasn't born dumb."
Realizing that there's no way he could get out of this conversation, he sighs, goes back to his seat and then looks at me with sad eyes, "Dr. Jean found out."
"And they whipped you?" I ask mortified and feeling guilty, because obviously, it is largely my fault, "h-how did they-"
"Chris did. And they found out through CCTV."
"Mike I'm so so sorry."
"No, don't apologize."
"But it's my fault," I counter feeling all guilty and worn out. I've been dragging Mike through my one-heck of a life and I don't want that. It's already worse that I had this full of mystery life, and it's even worse to drag some innocent people inside it.
"Come on," he tries to reassure me, "I'm just helping you and don't worry about me. These are just scars, and they will eventually heal. For now, focus on your plan of escape."
"Okay but...," I trail off and he urges for me to continue, "if Dr. Jean found out, then that means, she knows that you're helping us?"
"Yes, she knows," he says after a few seconds and then he opens his mouth to say something but closes it again debating in his mind whether he should say whatever it is or not.
"Is there anything else?" I ask urging for him to say whatever he has in mind.
He hesitates for a bit, but then he gives up and announces, "And I think she has something to do with your records too."
✂------------------------------------------
The old lady nurse gives us a smile as she walks back inside. She checks on the other sleeping patient lying on the other bed, and then after that, she turns to our direction whispering something to Mike.
Mike nods at whatever she said, and then the old lady gives me a small smile as she went outside the door closing it behind her.
"H-how? What does she have to do with the records?" I ask returning back to the topic. I would have to ask Mike about what the old lady had whispered to him later, because right now, my concern is about what he had just announced.
"I'm still trying to figure out," Mike answers, "I'm not quite sure yet about her involvement, but that's what I'm trying to figure out. I can't give you exactly the details right now, that's why I need you to trust me on this one, okay?"
I just nodded, not really able to comprehend all the confusion and newfound information I just received.
"I'm leaving now," he says after a few more heartbeats, "just please, be careful with Thayer. I wouldn't be able to see you often, especially I'm under strict supervision of Dr. Jean and her son."
"Take care of yourself, too. And thank you," I say to which he gives a nod. He's about to head for the door when I call out again, "and Mike?"
"What?"
"It's about the medicines I'm taking," I tell him.
He looks like I reminded him of something, and then he says, "Right, I almost forgot. Don't take them. Just pretend that you're taking it. I don't know much about that at this moment, but just for safety precaution, avoid taking them okay?"
I want to ask how but I figure he has a lot of problems in mind already so I just nod and gave him a smile as I watch him walk out of the door.
I lay myself back on the bed as I am yet again buried in thoughts about every single thing wrong in my life right now.
