Apologies (A Phanfiction )

Chapter 5

I surprisingly woke up before Phil and got him some medicine and a glass of water. I sat it down on the night stand. Then I walked out and let him rest. I took my laptop and went into the lounge room. I sat down and got comfortable before scrolling through tumblr. "Dan?" I turned around to see Phil with messy hair and a sleepy smile aimed at me. "Morning sleeping beauty," I joked, moving over a bit so he could sit next to me. He cuddled up next to me, resting his head on my shoulder. "What happened last night?" "We went out and you drank a bit and went off with some girl," I scrolled the mouse down. Phil's head shot up and looked at me, "I did what?!" I let out a laugh, "I'm kidding. You just got a bit tipsy and I brought you home." Phil let out a sigh and rested his head back on my shoulder. "That dog looks like you, Dan," Phil commented, pointing at my computer screen. I faked gasped, "How rude." Phil kissed my cheek, "It's a cute dog." I kissed his head before shutting my laptop. Phil looked up at me and frowned. "Let's get some cereal." Phil nodded and stood up with me.

As we walked into the kitchen I felt a wave of anxiety come over me. I brushed it off, as I was used to it by now. I took out the milk while Phil poured the cereal into our bowls. While he put the box back, I poured the milk into our bowls. My anxiety overcame me and my hands started shaking. Then I felt the anxiety attack hit. I couldn't stop it this time. I didn't know what was causing it. I dropped the milk on accident and stumbled back. Stop sucking up to him, Daniel. He doesn't really love you. Phil placed the milk up so it wouldn't spill out on me. He wrapped his hands around my waist and held me tight. He hates you, Daniel. I could feel my breathing become irregular. "Dan, you're going to be okay," Phil whispered to me. I raised my hand up to my face and felt tears streaming down. Phil had let go of me and wiped away my tears with his thumb. He got drunk to forget about you. Make it stop. Let him go, Daniel. "Stop," I muttered, not loud enough for Phil to understand. You should just die. It could stop all of this. "Stop it," I growled. Phil looked at me and back away, "Dan?" He's scared of you, Daniel. He never loved you.

"Leave me alone, dammit!" I slammed my fist on the counter. I heard Phil squeak and I turned towards him. "Phil I-" Phil looked terrified as I stepped closer to him. "I'm sorry. It wasn't you. It was my thoughts." Phil looked at me with a sympathetic expression to cover up fear. "I'm sorry, Phil. I didn't mean to scare you." I walked up to him, ignoring the voices, and pulled my raven-haired boyfriend close to me. "Are you okay, Dan?" Phil asked, pushing away from my hug. I nodded, "I'm fine now." He smiled slightly at me. "Breakfast and then we can film?" Phil cocked his head making me smile. I nodded and got a towel to clean up whatever milk spilled. Phil and I then took our bowls to the table. We ate in silence and cleaned our bowls. Phil dragged me into his room to film a video with him. That last for an hour before we filmed a video with us for my channel. We got to work on editing for a while, but grew tired of it. Phil and I were now in the lounge watching movies. My phone went off so I stepped into my room to answer it.

"Dan, it's Pj." "Oh hey. What's up?" I brushed back my fringe with my hand. "Well, I thought we could film a video together later," he replied with excited over a little uncertainty. I checked the time, it was only two so we had time. "Sure, what time?" There was silence over the line until Pj spoke up again, "How's four sound?" "Sounds good." "Alright. See ya then!" "See ya." I hung up and stuffed my phone in my pocket. When I walked back into the other room, Phil was looking at me and I knew he wanted to know who I was talking to. "That was Pj. He wants us over at four to film a video with him," I explained. Phil nodded, "I have to take a shower before we go." I motioned for him to go ahead and he got up and walked off. I got out my phone and went on Twitter. I checked my notifications before sending a tweet about the new videos coming. I heard the water turn on and sunk into the couch. About ten minutes later, I realized I needed to change out of my pajamas. I made my way into my room and picked out some black skinny jeans and my black star shirt. I heard the water turn off and I rushed into Phil's room.

I hid behind his wardrobe and waited for him to walk in. I heard his door creak open and I popped out from behind the wardrobe, "Boo!" Phil stumbled backwards with his hand on his chest, "Dan!" I chuckled, "You've got to admit, that was pretty funny." Phil was smiling, "You're the worst." I fake frowned, "You don't mean that, do you?" Phil jokingly rolled his eyes, "Get out so I can change." I stuck my tongue out at him as I walked out of his room and shut his door for him. I sat down on the bottom step of the stairs. Phil came out about a minute later, "It's half past three. Do you want to head out now?" I stood up and faced him, "Yeah sure." We walked out of the flat and called a taxi.