Black Lies

Chapter 5: The New New Year

Before we begin the new year of 2013, we are mourning the lost of a loved one. He was a dear friend to me and my crew. He was a short, light-skinned dude with a passion for rap and dance. He was an awesome person with personality and livelihood. We are mourning Donovan. Not him actually, just our relationship. Honestly I would dance on our relationships grave. It was funny, but I felt free. I brung in the new year with people I actually cared about. I sat in my basement and appreciated the friends that I had. I appreciated my health, I had a home to live in, I was almost done with school, a little towards graduation. I loved the life I was living. I swore to not fall in love for awhile. I partied with a few people I knew down in my basement. We had a good time. We sat and watched Waiting to Exhale and we tried to celebrate just like how they did in the new year. For some reason I watched that movie a lot and I compared my life to Savannah and Bernie. It was similar. One trying to find the right one, and the other tired of the lies and foolishness and just wanted to provide for herself and kids. I loved them. 2013 was gonna be a new year of surprises and wonder.

A couple of days after new year, I got hit up by Nijah's Ex Andrew. I was questioning it a little. What did he want? O god, hes gonna admit his feelings for me. Andrew was cute and all, but I lived by girl code and guy code. I was not gonna do that to my bestfriend. "Hey what's up bro?", was the message I received from him on Facebook. "Hey, nothing much, just trying to enjoy the New Year and school really, how are you?" I was questioning if I should respond. If he asked me anything if I was single or if he wanted to go out, I would say hell no. "I'm good, mostly chilling, so let me ask you something, you gay right?" So blunt, so aggressive, what type of introduction is that? "Yes I am" "My bad, I didn't want to mean it like that, but that's cool if you are I'm not judging." "Thanks I guess lol." He continued, "So I got my bro who I know and he gay and I'm tired of him being depressed and sad and alone, so I was wondering if I could give him your number?" Woah there, you want to see if I would hook up with your homie? There goes my o relationship resolution. I made a few resolutions for 2013: No dating, and I would start working out more. I already broke 1 of them. "I don't know Andrew, I just got out of a relationship, a really bad relationship." "Alright I can respect that, but I just want yall to talk, better yet can he add you on here?" I didn't have a problem with it. "Sure, whats his name?" "Bryce" "Okay, which profile is it?" "He hasn't been on here in a minute but it should be the first one that appears." "Okay, I got it, thanks again I guess." " No, thank you, I think you might like him, hes tall, lil dark, and got a 6 pack." Way to describe your friend their. "Okay thanks." So I message this guy thinking what and how this conversation is going to be. I didn't feel right about it, but something felt right. "Hey wassup" "Hey, Im Bryce, not to meet you" "Demetrius, nice to meet you too, How do you know Andrew?" "We were in ROTC together." "O cool, what grade are you in?" "12th" "Me too." "So what type of guy are you interested in", he asked me. That was a good question. I honestly didn't know, so I made up some shit. "O you know, a lil tall or short doesn't matter, someone who is looking for a relationship, not just sex, someone who is cool and funny and entertaining." "Nice, I might be some of those qualities lol." He was on straight flirt mode. Okay I'll give you a point. "What type of guy are you into?", I asked. "I guess some of the same things you said." "Okay lol" "Your cute", he told me. I never received that type of compliment before, it felt weird. "Thanks, lol your pretty cute yourself." "Thanks lol." Okay gave me a compliment, another check. This Bryce guy was okay. We talked for hours on end, then it got sexual, something I felt comfortable with. He asked me, "Do you watch porn?" Random question, but hey I don't care. "Yeah I do, who doesn't" He continued, "Sweet, what kind do you watch?" "Just about all kinds, straight, gay, tranny." Sometimes I watched straight porn from time to time. Gay porn... you already know. Tranny, I just studied, I wondered how it worked of them, it was definitely a biology lesson. I didn't care either way. "What kind do you watch?" He said, "I watch mostly Gay, whats your favorite type of gay porn?" This conversation continued for about another 2 hours and it got pretty intense. He finally asked for my number and I gave it to him and we started texting.

1 month later, Bryce and I hit it well; we grew closer and even got closer. We finally decided to actually go out and meet up with each other for the first time. I had to lie to my mom to take me, but at least she took me. We met up at a restaurant a little far from my house, like 15 minutes. I was a little late but he didn't mind. I texted him that I was there and he said okay. He got out of the Mercedes Benz, tall, 6'4 guy with a peacoat and baseball cap with a D on it. He walked and smiled. I dressed a little business casual with a fancy fedora and blazer with a V neck shirt and jeans. We got in and we walked to our table, everybody was staring like they just saw Obama walk in. We sat, chatted for a little bit. I noticed that a family sitting behind our table was looking dead at us. They had a, "Where are the girls that they are dating face, or are they on a date?" face going on. It was awkward. I didn't mind. He ordered dessert, it was a chocolate cake. The waitress came with it and I noticed it had 2 spoons. How did she know it was for both of us? How did she not know that this could've been my cousin or something? "I smiled at her and she looked back at me. As much as that shit was looking god, I had to respect my weight loss resolution which meant no chocolate. We paid for our food and he offered to take me home. I called my mom and told her I had a ride home and she said okay. We got in his car and that bitch was fly no doubt. We held hands on the way home and kissed, I also did some sexual things like grabbing his dick . He did the same thing to me. "You know I can pull this bitch over and we can do something?" I was not a hoe, I don't know you like that. I said, "I don't think we should, plus my dad is expecting me home." We pulled up and we start making out in the car, then all of a sudden he unzips my pants and dives in. I start moaning trying to keep a lookout making sure nobody comes up to the car. Then I start to dive in on him, he didn't cum, but I definitely felt something wet and sticky. His mom called and he told me to be quiet. "And you better have my car home..." I start sucking him more and he seemed to almost jump out his seat, he was trying so hard not to moan that it made me giggle. His mom didn't hear me, thank goodness. We finished up. We kissed and made it official. At least by saying we weren't going to talk to other guys. I go inside and brush my teeth, next thing I know I get a text. Its from Bryce, "Can't stop thinking about what happened, I really like you and I want to see more of you." I text back, "Yeah tonight was a night where as I would never do that, but I like you too and I hope we still will be seeing each other." This was definitely a New New Year.

The next month after our first date, I was living the life. I had a new boo. I had my friends, my family, my grades. I had the bad people out of my life. I was living for me. I forgot the past and lived for the future. Well my future was what what was going to change. Graduation and College. I had to think about my life. Midway through my 2nd semester,  I got my report card back. Terrible. I fell to a 3.0. It was just bad, I never got that low before. Apparently love had to get on something and my grades would just be the thing. I knew the reason, it was my new love life. I was so in love with this guy, that I became distracted from the thing that could make me or break me. They just got worst from there, they slipped a lot. I knew what I had to do, but I didn't want to. I had to quit it with Bryce, I couldn't have my cake and eat it too. I never broke up someone before. Naya, Rachel, and Jade gave me advice. They said I should do it in person; I didn't have the time nor the transportation to get to him. Then you should call him, I did that 6 times and he didn't pick up, hell I even left two voicemails. I knew that if I continued the way that I was, I would be in the hot seat for real. I broke off with him in the worst way possible. Text. It was a bitch move I know, but how else was I suppose too? It was my last option, it was my only option. For the first time ever I would be the one breaking it off. I told him the reason too. I did not receive any text from him the next few months.

I truly had feelings for him. He was a guy that made me love again. He was a new breathe of fresh air. Bryce was new. He was somebody I had a urging for. He was the right one. He was Mr. Right. I cried for two night wishing to take it back. I had deep feelings for this man. I didn't want to make it seem as if I was playing him.  

But I only spoke half the truth, my grades weren't the only thing. You have to hate when your past comes back to haunt you.