I Can't

Chapter - 16

I arrive at the club, everyones already over there. Me and the girls break away from the guys and start dancing on the dance floor. The musics nice, the boys come back. They're holding 2 beers each. Gerald hands one to me, I thank him.

A slow song comes on and everyone goes to the dance floor except for me. Gerald, found some blondie and they hit it off. So now I'm alone, I order a beer.

1 hour later

Four beers are in front of my slightly red hot face. I'm burning up, I'm hiccuping. I didn't think 4 beers would get me drunk but I guess it can ;)

Everyone left already, I wanted to stay for a little while longer cause I felt really relaxed, by then I had drank 2 beers.

My favourite song comes on and I quickly get up and run to the dance floor and I start swaying my hips. The cute guy from before starts to walk up to me. "Hey hottie" I pull his collar closer to me.

I giggle

"Hi cutie" and I extend the e.

After about 10 minutes of talking our lips are on each other's.

Stefan's such a cutie, so direct to. He puts his arms around me and then when I feel the touch I realize it is not Stefan's.

I quickly back up looking at my mistake head on. I slap the guy and turn around grab my purse and run to my car.

The drive felt like hours, I thought of so many different ideas of how to break the news to him. I even considered not telling him at all.

That'd probably hurt him even more. I walk out of my car clumsily since I'm still drunk and slowly wobble to the door.

I'm 18 and I'm drunk for the very first time. I cheated for the very first time. I want it to be the last time too.

I feel so horrible, he won't forgive me. I kissed another guy for fucks sake!

Can we be friends at least after? Will he cancel our scavenger hunt to find Jen?

Scavenger hunt hahaha, I burp. Oh god, I slowly open the door.

I pray that Stefan's not home, I couldn't see if the Ferrari was here or not. "You home princess?" He calls out and comes into my view from the corner.

Great...

"I- Uhm yah" and I quickly try and rush of the stairs but Stefan's grabs me before I even get past the 2nd step of all 12 wooden stairs.

He goes in for a kiss but I quickly back up a little. "How many beers have you had to drink?" He gives me a serious look.

"2" I say. He stares at me even more seriously "really?"

"4" I say and smile.

He laughs and then goes in for a kiss but once I again I back up.

"What's wrong"

I get out from his grasp and turn so my back faces him "nothing."

He turns me around and looks me straight in the eye "Liar, tell me"

I could imagine how mad he'll be, he'll probably break up with me in an instance. Without any second thoughts, I mean what I did was horrible.

He noticed the fright in my eyes and says "I won't get angry no matter what, now please tell me" he rubs my arm up and down reassuring me that it'll be okay.

"Ok so I was at the club and there was this dude who looked a lot similar to you and then I drank 4 beers and I got really tipsy and confused and I went on to the dance floor and the guy came and we were just talking and dancing and then I started to think he was you and I ended up kissing him and I'm really really sorry I fucking messed up big time and i understand that you'd probably want to break up with me. But I love you so much and sober me wouldn't have ever done that and I really don't want to give you up so if you break up with me ill do anything ANYTHING to get you to trust me again and so that you love me again since you probably won't love me anymore. I say quickly without any pauses.

I'm so out of breath that I just collapse. I think about Stefan leaving me and how heart broken I would be that tears start to slowly rush down my face.

He collapses with me on to the ground as well and hugs me tightly. "I'll always love you"

"Not loving you is something that I Can't do."

He wipes a tear away and I start to sob even harder. God how can he be this perfect. "So you're not mad about me kissing another dude"

"Nono I'm very mad, but that doesnt mean that I don't love you" he smiles with a hint of annoyance and happiness.

I go in for a kiss but he stops my lips with his hand and says "go brush your teeth and your mouth, get into something cozy too."

I give him an annoyed/understanding look and I walk up the stairs and into my bedroom to pick out my sweats and one of his hoodies that I have.

I go into the washroom to brush my teeth and I take all my make up off, I put my hair down and just brush it out so now that the curls are more wavy than tight.

I look rough but I don't really care when I'm around him, he accepted me when I looked my worst so I don't really need to worry.

I think I might finally trust him now, after all he forgave me for cheating on him which is a very big deal. God do I never wanna let this man go.

I love him so so much, more than I can put into words.

This'll be the update for this week, enjoy.