Life, Love and Gangs. {Book 1} *In Editing*

It's All My Fault

Zayn's POV*

I walked into the lounge room and sat there for a moment, Perrie was packing her bag. I watch as Niall walks into the room, he was only wearing boxers.. What did I miss?

"Hey." He says with a smirk now spreading across his face, I hear a certain cockiness in his voice as well. What's going on? Have I just missed the world or something?

"Hey, you sound happy.. Have I missed something?" I ask while so many other questions float through my head.

"Well.. Let's just say that.. I just did one of my favourite things with a girl." He says leaning back on the couch. I look up at him wide eyed, did he just say he fucked Cinder?! Oh my god, oh my fucking god. Did she do it willingly? She couldn't have, she is still a virgin or was a virgin.. He must have forced he.

"Are you serious? You just had sex with Cinder? Or did you fucking rape her.. She was a virgin.. She probably didn't even want to have sex with you.. WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING?" I Yell at him, Cinder is like a little sister to me, I feel that if she gets hurt it my responsibility to bash the crap out of the person.

"Look, she came on to me. Not the other way around, I asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this and her reaction was smashing her lips into mine.. That's not a bad thing for me." He says trying to calm me down, I don't believe him, I don't know why though. I've known Niall for a long time and can tell when he's lying.

I don't see any signs of him lying, he must be telling the truth. I stand and nod my head as I start to walk to his room, I hear Cinder talking to herself, I couldn't quite make out what she was saying.. I wish I could though.

Cinder's POV*

That was amazing, I've never had a feeling like that before. I stand up and put my underwear and pants on, I hear the door creek. I hear a familiar voice too.

"Cinder? Can I come in?" It was Zayn, I tell him he could come in as I slid my shirt back on.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask walking over to him, I'm still a little shaky. I watch him look at me carefully, scanning my body and face. He gives me a soft hug, something I wasn't expecting.

"So, he didn't forcefully make you have sex with him?" Zayn asks confused, I look at him just as confused as he is.

"What? What do you mean? Of course he didn't 'make' me have sex with him.. " I trail off, Niall must have told him.. Great..

"Okay, just making sure, I thought he was gonna hurt you, I didn't want you to be hurt, especially by a guy & especially by Niall. You have those scars for a reason and I don't want any guy especially not Niall, to cause them." He says hugging me tightly, he feels like another brother to me.. Only we aren't related.

"Thanks Zayn, I appreciate that you are looking out for me. I owe you one bud." I say playfully punching him in the arm. We walk out into the lounge room where I find Niall asleep on the couch.

"Don't worry, he's always sleepy after sex." He says as if he read my mind. I walk over to the kitchen to get something to eat, looks like sex makes me hungry. I grab a glass of coke that was on the counter and a cookie from the pantry.

"Hey, do you want me to take you home?" Zayn asks, I look at the clock to see that's its about midday. I guess I could go home, Sniper and Dad shouldn't be home and I think that Swifty is staying home today.

"Yeah, sure." I say smiling while eating my cookie.

As I sit in the car with Perrie and Zayn I watch the world go by out the window, looks like Perrie doesn't live too far away from me. She gave me her number before leaving in case I ever need her, she was awesome, I now see why Zayn like her.

"Here." I say pointing out my house to Zayn, he pulls over and takes me up to my house, what a sweetheart. I give him a hug before walking into my house, I look over in the kitchen to see Swifty cleaning the dishes.

"SWIFTY!! BUDDY!" I yell running up to him and hugging his waist, he drops the dishes back in the sink and turns around to hug me back. We rock back and forth for a moment before he speaks.

"Hey Bub, what's up? How was the party last night?" He asks as we let go of each other, I jump up onto the counter next to him as start telling him what happened last night. There was one thing I left out though.. What happened with Niall and I.

***** (Next Day) ******

I woke up in my bed, my body aching. I sit up and walk to my bathroom, I strip off and hop in the shower. I hear someone at my bathroom door, I think it was Pyro.

"CINDER!! CINDER!! I NEED YOU!!" I hear him yelling, I heard pain in his voice. I jump out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body and open the door to find Pyro and the floor crying.

"What's wrong? What happened? Are you-" I cut myself off to see his hand, covered in blood. I pick him up and take him into my bathroom, I sit him on the toilet lid and rushed over to my mirror cupboard. I grab my first aid kit and some tissues from my room and rush over to him. Tears stained his face as I wipe away the blood, I look to see a long slash across his hand. I covered it in disinfectant before asking him some questions.

"How did this happen?" I ask wiping away the tears on him face, he looks up at me before answering.

"I-I was in the t-training room before and I-I wanted to try and t-throw a knife like y-you and it slipped out of my h-hand and cut me.." He says as the tears start to come back, I pull him into a hug and hold him tight. Lucky that I was here.

I walk out of my bathroom and take Pyro down stairs to the kitchen and got him something to eat and drink, I know for a fact that when you loose blood you have to eat and drink something or you will eventually faint.

I give him an apple and some water, I look at his bandaged hand and think for a moment, the training room is at the Gang House.. He's lying to me.

"You're lying to me, Pyro Richard Melody! How dare you lie to me." I say to him, his expression completely changed. He started to tear up, I walk over to him and hug him tight. He sobbed into my shoulder as I rub his back to comfort him.

"I-I'm sorry." He stutters, I can't help but feel bad for getting angry at him. I pull away and look into his eyes before I speak.

"How did you really do it..?" I ask, he looks down and pulls out his pocket knife, stained with blood. I felt my heart break, I started to tear up as did he. I couldn't believe he had done that, he did the same thing I did as a kid, he went into depression.. Tried to kill himself.. Only he was smarter that I was, he came to me for help.

"Y-you cut yourself? Buddy.." I trail off, he stops me for a second.

"That's not all" I watch him pull up his sleeve, I look at all his scars on him arm. All the scars and fresh cuts, I looked at the dry blood still on his arm. I burst out crying at what he had done to himself because I wasn't looking after him.. Because I hadn't been there for him..

It's all my fault..