By the Will of Love (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Chapter Eighteen

"Don't fuck with me, kids. Or else this will be you and you'll never go home."

Was it odd to think it was their fault? They both felt like that, guilty. 

What if they hadn't warmed up to her? What if they hadn't allowed her to pay extra attention to them? What if they hadn't let her be nice to them? Would she still be alive?

Jongin, for the thousandth time, glanced over at Kyungsoo, who was sitting against the wall space next to him with an expressionless face. He felt bad because he knew Kyungsoo was feeling guilty, among many other things, but he didn't know how to bring him any consolation. He was never good at making people feel better; that was something his mom was good at. No matter how badly he messed up, she would constantly find some way to relate to him and make him feel better. But he couldn't do the same for Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo sighed heavily, his eyelids falling over his eyes. His head laid against the gray stone, he moved it to the side so he could look at Jongin. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, breaking the long and drawn out silence. Jongin was rather surprised to hear Kyungsoo's voice first, but it caught his attention just like it always did and always would. "You've been really quiet ever since...you know."

"Yeah," Jongin said with an exhale of air, "so have you. Are you okay?"

Kyungsoo shrugged and lazily shook his head. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel," he said. "I mean, I'm glad we're still alive and not injured, but she doesn't deserve to be dead because she wanted to be nice to us."

"I know," Jongin replied, clenching his jaw for a second. "What do you think they're doing with her body?"

"Probably hiding it somewhere they think no one will ever find it," Kyungsoo replied. Jongin shook his head, shivering at the mere thought. 

"It's our fault, isn't it?" he said, eyes pointed ahead of him at a random paint stain on the wall ahead of him. Kyungsoo looked at him right before he blinked. "It's our fault she's dead. We're the reason that asshole shot her." For a second or so, neither Jongin nor Kyungsoo said anything. They just let the words sink in. "We're practically killers, right? I mean, if we hadn't let her get so close, he wouldn't have shot her. What if we get arrested too?"

"I'm pretty sure hat's not how murder works," Kyungsoo replied, trying to lighten the mood with a small chuckle. "He shot her and he kidnapped us. I don't think the police would blame a crime he committed on us."

Jongin shook his head again and said, "I hate this, Soo. I hate the fact that we're defenseless against them. I hate that we can't just kick their asses and get out of here. I hate knowing that they could kill us at any moment."

"I know. I hate this too," Kyungsoo said, linking arms with Jongin. He laid his head on his shoulder and sighed. Jongin turned his head so he could look down at him. Suddenly, he felt a wave rush over him, sweeping his breath away with it. 

They could really die at any moment, and that was the last thing Jongin thought he would ever need to make himself realize how much he cared about the boy beside him. 

"I love you, Kyungsoo," he blurted out suddenly, listening to exactly what his heart was telling him to say. As soon as the words entered his ears, Kyungsoo's breath hitched and he pulled away to look at him.

"Jongin..." he said, not knowing what else to say.

"Just now, I realized that anything can happen. We might not get found and we could die. And if that happens...even if it doesn't happen, I just want you to know that I've fallen in with you." Kyungsoo swallowed as he tried to blink away his tears.