hospital beds// joshler fanfiction

chapter four pov tyler

[[[trigger warnings D:]]] suicide, self harm. stay safe lovelys💖

everything was black. my vision was opening back up. i was confused at what was going on. everything was dim. now bright,,,burning bright. my eyes adjusted. i could tell i was lying down. i went to get up. i couldnt move. not a single muscle. i started struggling. then i could move a little bit. then the nurses came over. i tried to hit them. but they put a needle in my ocean blue veins. i started calming right away then i felt my breathing go away. and my problems fade. and josh fade.
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i woke up to bright lights in my dark orbs. I cringed at the brightness. i started to feel more away. then i sat up. it was all a fucking dream god damn. i woke up next to my brother. damn i must have dreamed of him dying too. man im so fucking happy. i got up from my twin sized bed and headed for my door that was completely covered in drawings and stickers. i walked downstairs to see my parents sitting on the couch asleep. i looked at them amazed at my nightmares being all dead. "mom, dad i have to tell you about this dream!" i said allowed. they opened their eyes in unison and looked at me. "come sit daring" my mother offered. i sat next to them and i hugged my mother. well i tried. she started to melt as i touched her. same with my dad. i started freaking the fuck out. i was screaming and running trying to find my brother. their was a fire god damnit. but i knew this has to do with more then a fire. and i was sad that i knew that. but i had to find zach i couldnt let him die again. "ZACH,ZACH COME ON THERES A FIRE HURRY UP!!" i bursted. then i found him. i wish i didnt. i really wish i didnt. he was on a rope. just there swaying. i never wanted to see this again. i fell to the ground. i knew i was alive but on the inside i felt dead. i felt completly dead. nothing meant anything anymore. my dreams were coming true. i couldnt take it. i ran to my room which was still on fire. i layed on the ground and started at the crumbling celling. "now, the night is coming to an end" i began to sing out with puffy eyes from crying. "stay alive...stay a-ali-" i broke down while turning to my side. the fire coming closer and closer. i felt the heat near my  face. i put my hand in the fire wanting to feel as much pain as i did on the outside. i know it was cheesy but fuck it. while my hand was in the fire i couldnt feel shit. "god dam-" i broke down again. i was dead inside why cant i just die in no-
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i woke up to the same bright lights. except this time this wasnt a dream. im going crazy, i need someone. i screamed josh's name. but tanner came over and slapped my face. what the hell is going on?