Taking It

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When I was younger I always read stories and watched movies about how someones life became ruined because they moved away. They were always upset and within their group of friends they would promise to keep in touch, but the promises were empty. They wouldn't keep in touch, they would actually forget about one another. It's not like they would purposely forget about each other, life just continues on. People become busy, jobs get in the way, school picks up, better opportunities arise, time zones makes communication harder. It never goes as planned.

What's that one saying? Out of sight out of mind?

When I left my hometown it was sad, that I will proudly admit, but for a whole different reason entirely. It wasn't sad because I was leaving, I was happy to be leaving that god forsaken place─which  I will probably get into later─it was sad because no one bothered to show. I had at least expected my best friend since third grade─whom by the way stopped talking to me three years prior─to show just to apologize for leaving me all alone at school.

My departure was sad because it was just me, my phone and absolutely nothing to do. On multiple occasions I contemplated throwing away the mobile device. I wanted to dump it someplace and be rid of it forever. I had no use for it besides scrolling through empty timelines. I made, nor did I receive, any texts or calls from anyone besides my dad.

Even though he wasn't there, he was there. After he left─running away with his mistress of eight months─when I was two, he made an effort to call me at least two times a week as I grew older. We would talk for hours about any and everything, him asking me how I was and me telling him the same thing almost every time. I never resented my dad like most would think, despite him leaving my mother four years into their marriage, he was still my father. He made sure that I knew that I wasn't the reason he left my mother and that their divorce was a mutual agreement. While he still cared for her his love for her was no longer unconditional, but I digress. This isn't about my parent's this is about me and my departure from my hometown back in some sunny city in California.

My leaving my sunny hometown is because of multiple reasons but the only reason I am going to list is all you need to know. In my opinion it is the main reason as to why I was leaving that retched place behind and my means to escape. The reason that I left is solely because I lied, for weeks. I won't tell you why I lied exactly but just know that if I hadn't I wouldn't be writing this stupid entry. It wasn't until a major catalyst in my life happened and broke me, leading me to call my father and reveal everything to him. Again I won't say what, because I'm not that willing to reveal all my secrets to a stranger I barely know, just know that it was something huge.

I can remember the day that we left vividly in my mind. My dad had just spent a week with me, taking care of last minute details before I packed up my life and dumped it in a less sunny part of America. We  were both seated in the airport, my father was busy with his phone and I was trying to look somewhat busy on mine. When our flight was ready to board I desperately clung to the hope that someone would come shoving through the gates trying to gain my attention. I gripped at the idea that they would beg and plead security to let them through so hard that if it was a tangible object it would've torn from the force of my hold. I wanted my heartwarming movie goodbye just to lie and say that I would miss them in hope that they would confess how wrong they were. I wanted all of this just so I could flip them the bird as I sauntered my way onto the plane.

Sadly none of that happened, no one got to see my fabulously painted middle finger─which I painted nice and pretty for this occasion─no one begged the security lady to let them speak to me. There was no Albert Hayes─my dorky ex boyfriend─who wanted to confess he had a fire burning in his pants for me, and there was definitely no third grade best friend wanting to rekindle what we once had. So I grabbed my carry on, stood up from my seat with my head held high, and boarded the plane with my father. After only thirty seconds of convincing he allowed me to have the window seat which gave me full reign to live out my dream of being a heartbroken teenage protagonist.