Taking It

1.9

1.9

Despite being Calvin's girlfriend I didn't see a change in when we hung out. Austin was still there, his conversational skills barely improved and he seemed to become busier. While he had made time to meet my father for dinner he didn't really make time to take me out on a proper date. A date to him was me stopping by his job with a ham and cheese sandwich to spend his lunch break with him, which we seemed to do every time he had to work.

Kissing Calvin was different than kissing Taylor. For starters Calvin's lips were fuller. There were times where his kisses were rushed and sloppy, then there were times when he wanted to take it slow and precise. Either way I never got the gut wrenching, heart stopping, breathtaking, experience that I had when I kissed Taylor. I tried to blame it on the stupid tongue ring but deep down I knew that wasn't the reason. I decided to give it time. The relationship was new we were still walking as if we were on thin ice littered in egg shells. Kissing Calvin would get better, so I hoped.

The times when Calvin was busy I spent with Taylor. He always seemed to be open to just sit somewhere with me. It didn't matter if we spoke or not, it was comforting. I wish I realized then that I enjoyed being with Taylor a lot more than I enjoyed being with Calvin. However I wanted to make the relationship work, I was desperate and it was my first relationship in a long while.

Taylor's late night slumber parties became less frequent the longer Calvin and I were together. As he left my night terrors returned. I only knew this because there were mornings I'd wake up alone and Cassidy would moan and groan about not getting any rest because of my screaming and there were mornings when i'd wake up with Taylor wrapped around me. Those mornings I'd ask him if I did anything in my sleep and he would jokingly say that I snored, which wasn't true at all.

One night however, I knew things had started to change when I woke up from a nightmare and had called Calvin for comfort instead of Taylor.

• — • — •

One crisp mid-August morning my dad had surprised me with a tent. While I had been begging him for a while to let me go with Calvin and Austin on their latest and greatest camping adventure he hadn't given me a straightforward answer. So on the morning they had planned to leave I was ready to shoot my boyfriend a text with a bunch of sad faced emojis.

Instead I was able to send him the big smile and thumbs up emojis. There was a catch to me being able to go.

Cassidy had to come along.

I wasn't really opposed to the idea because I was terrified of sleeping in a tent by myself, but I was a little peeved off that she was there to babysit me.

It took her forever to get packed, when it only took me a few minutes. Sadly for her she had packed to stay at some beautiful lake house. When we arrived at the hiking trail she was met by a different beauty all together.

• — • — •

We had buddy systems. Cassidy and Austin, Calvin and me. Calvin and I took the lead until I had to pee and he instructed Austin to keep going.

It had taken me a while to let it all out a seeming I had pee-phobia and Calvin was standing a few feet away from me with his back turned. Once I was done he did his best to hand me the roll of toilet paper and I graciously took it, not prepared to drip dry just yet.

We then continued on, him offering to also carrying my things only for me to brush him off.

"I'm a big girl, I can handle myself." I told him, fixing the straps of my pack on my shoulders. He gave me a small smile and he gripped my hand in his, tugging me along a bit.