Flower Language ~ Haikyuu

20: Purple Hyacinthus

Purple Hyacinth - I am sorry

I woke up in the middle of a random hallway, unable to see anything. Its still dark out, so I can still resume my sleep back at our room. Someone had covered me with a blanket, but it was a bit nerve-wracking knowing some random guy found me asleep on the floor. I got up, and I started to get dizzy, and lazily leaned against a vending machine. Once my head cleared, I stumbled to our room, loudly opening the door. I was still insanely dizzy, suddenly remembering I didn't eat dinner. My vision was blurry, and started turning white.

Turns out I was going crazy, as I had opened the wrong door. I slammed open Nekoma's door, awakening Morisuke and a few others. Kenma started to talk, but I felt my legs give out, and I passed out on the floor (again). I regained consciousness in a few minutes, and several people were crowded around me. I tried getting up, but I fell back down. Kuroo forced a granola bar into my mouth, which I instantly devoured. I had lost too much blood sugar, which most likely caused a hyperglycemic episode. Its not this hasn't happened before.

"Nee, you need to take better care of yourself," Kenma angrily scolded, feeding me more of the bar. 

"Wakatteru, wakatteru yo," I quickly responded. He rolled his eyes, saying something quietly. I narrowed my eyes at him, and took the food from his hand.

"If you knew, I doubt you would be eating a granola bar on Yaku-san's lap," he retorted. Morisuke's lap- oh. I looked up, and saw a pink Yaku Morisuke hovering right above my face. I pushed it away, and got up. My strength had returned, but it is slightly disappointing. Now I have to go back Karasuno, those overprotective pricks. Its too much to handle right now, so I'd rather stay here. 

"You don't want to go, ne?" Kuroo taunted once again, which pissed me off. Its even worse that he's right, I don't want to leave. I turned around, I smirk spreading across my face.

"What about you? Are you really okay with me leaving?" I responded slyly. He glared at me, now sitting up properly. "How about a deal. Arm-wrestling to decide if I leave or not. If more than half of the participants beat me, I'll stay. Is it a deal?" The guys looked at each other, silently conversing. Kuroo, Yamamoto, Inuoka, and Lev stood up in front of me. I took a seat at a small table at the corner of the room, and Inuoka sat across from me

He gave me a bright smile, which I returned. He took me hand, and I counted down. "In three...two....one, GO!" I yelled, slightly shocking him. I went a easy at first, and tried pressing his hand down. I was winning, but the match was going slowly. I used more force, and his hand slammed onto the table. I cheered, knowing this would be easy. As long as I can beat two more, I get total bragging rights. I would love to stay, hand down, but I can't let them win. 

Lev replaced Inuoka, flashing a playful grin at me. We grabbed each other's hands, and this time he counted down. I heard the number three, and used all of my strength to quickly bring his hand down. He groaned in pain, and fell to the floor. I had won, with little effort.

"You didn't even let him try!" Kuroo complained.

"Gomen, but I did win fair and square," I reminded the bedhead. I just have to win against either Kuroo or Yamamoto. I guess I'll take it easy this round, so I don't break someones hand again. Yamamoto grabbed my hand next, and counted down. I put in very little effort, and accidentally let him win. I wasn't really thinking about the consequences.

Kuroo gripped my hand tightly, so I squeezed back. He winced, so I stopped, but kept my competitive facade up. If I let my guard down, he'll win. I counted down, and put a good amount of my strength into the fight. We were both backing down a bit, and it was noticeable. He suddenly used all of his strength, so I did as well. He was shaking, almost making me laugh. I slowly pulled his hand down, and used the remaining amounts of power I had to punt it into the table. He sighed in defeat, and put his head down onto the table.

I let out a small giggle, and grabbed my things. Before I left, Morisuke caught up to me, offering to escort me back to my room. I accepted the offer, and we set out at a slow pace. "You got stronger," he commented, staring at my arms. I jokingly flexed, which he responded with a high pitched laugh.

"Of course! I am amazing, after all," I bragged, and he pushed me to the side. I put my elbow on his shoulder, and I felt his whole body tense up. He lightly kicked me, and murmured something inaudible.  I cocked my head to the sighed, but he ignored the gesture. He arrived at my room, and I gave him a small wave. He left,  almost running back. I sighed, and slowly opened the door, trying not to wake up the others. Instead of a bunch of sleeping volleyball players, I found all 12 of my teammates staring at me, all of the lights on. They were yelling at me from all angles, causing my to sink down onto the floor.

Someone held out a hand, so I looked up to see who it was. Asahi had his hand extended towards me, a nervous but stern expression plastered onto his face. I grabbed it, pulling myself up. "Can you guys stop?!" I yelled, finally snapping due to the overwrought atmosphere. They were all too aggressively concerned, reminding me of the fight with Tsukishima. I shuddered at the thoughts, sitting down onto my futon. "I passed out in the hall from being too overwhelmed. I tried getting back here an hour ago, but ended up in Nekoma's room," I explained, trying to bring ease into the situation.

I heard a small grunt from across the room, and my attention turned to Tsukishima, slouching in the corner. "If you would like to comment, go ahead!" I sarcastically shouted at the blond. He sharply turned towards me, clearly unhappy. He got up, and walked over.

"Can we stop throwing a pity party, and just go to sleep?" he complained, surprising the group. He seemed unhappy with his response, but few caught on. I grabbed his arm before he could return to his spot in the corner, and pulled him outside. "What do you want?" he spat, violently pulling his arm away. I opened my mouth, but I couldn't seem to get any words out. I tried telling him that I'm not mad, and that I'm sorry. But part of me is still upset at his actions. Instead, tears started to form in my eyes. They slowly poured out, and his expression softened. I slid down the wall, now sobbing. Even I was unsure as to why I was so emotional, but my cries just got louder.

He sat next to me, refusing to make eye contact. I finally managed to yell out a forced,"I hate you!" He looked at me in disbelief. No, I didn't mean it. But I can't seem to tell him. "I....can't," I mumbled through soft sobs. The words quietly echoed through the hall, my cries seizing. He looked at me crossly, arms folded. 

"Can't what?" he responded slowly. It was my turn to jump back in surprise, it was ridiculous to even consider him admitting he was wrong. But strangely, his response sparked a bit of hope inside of me. My breathing slowed, and I was soon steadily inhaling and exhaling. Despite how calm I felt, no words escaped my mouth.  He furrowed his eyebrows once again, upset at the lack of conversation. Instead of responding, I got up and walked back into the room. I sent him a quick glance before closing the door behind me, walking away with too many regrets to count. But oddly enough, I found satisfaction in leaving him in the hall. 

But still, I want to say sorry. I want to apologize for snapping, for getting so upset. I know I'm not entirely at fault, we both screwed up. I can't bring myself to tell him unless he feels the same way. 

I'm sorry Tsukishima Kei