Flower Language ~ Haikyuu

13: Papaver somniferum

White Poppy: Consolation 

After wing a few minutes for the bus, it finally came, skidding to a stop. Everyone quickly entered, but I couldn't seem to move my legs. Hinata turned around right before entering, and quizically looked back at me.

"Kozume, are you coming?" he asked, and I nodded, and forcefully pulled my legs forward. I didn't want to be here, I wan't to be at Nekoma with my brother and Kuroo. I wanted to keep playing, but I'm just tying them down. I'm tying myself down, completely useless. I sat down at the back, by myself. Suga plopped down onto the seat next to me, and looked at my near-lifeless body slumped across the seat worriedly.

"Kozume, will you be okay? Do you need anything?" he asked, and I just ignored him. I didn't want to, but I couldn't find a response. My mouth was dry, and I was choking on the air around me. Something was tugging at my chest, telling me it isn't worth it. I should just go back to Nekoma, quit volleyball for until we have a month of school left. Summer is soon, and I could tag along to the volleyball camp, just not play. 

No. I won't abandon them just because of one loss. I can't do that to them, I have to stick around. I won't give up, like I always do. I'm not strong like my brother. I was told my name meant strong, powerful. In a sense it does, but it mean fragrant. I'm there, but not benefiting to anything. Yeah sure, I'm nice to be around, but no one will really miss me if I'm gone. 

The negative thoughts flooded my head, drowning me. I fell asleep to the sound of my own thoughts, telling me things that even the strongest cannot bear. 

Kageyama's POV:

I don't know if Kozume will be okay. No wonder she seemed so unhappy here, being separated from people she knew and could trust. We are holding her back, and I hate it. I looked to my right, and saw that Hinata was sleeping. He could cheer her up, right? His happy-go-lucky attitude could fix anything. But she probably needs something more, and I don't know what. She doesn't smile, fully, at least. Her emotions seemed forced, but not exactly fake. I've only seen her smile once, and it was when she was with her brother. Is that it....does she need someone she knows? She knows Oikawa, but, I don't know if I can trust him with her. I mean, not that I care, right? My thoughts were interrupted by a violent scram coming from the back of the bus.

"Kozume! Are you o-" 

"Yeah, I'm okay Suga. Don't worry about me, just a bad dream. Nothing to worry about," he reassured him, but her didn't buy it. Right before I averted my attention back to the seat in front of me, I saw the third year move over to her seat. I sighed in relief, knowing she is in good hands. That loss really must've taken a toll on her. But why? I know she is rooting for Nekoma, so why does she care? 

And why did she seem so caring earlier. She is never like that, nevertheless right before a game. Maybe  I just have it backwards, and she is being caring because of the match. When she became nurturing, it was always for  our mental health, not because of some minor injury. It started a few nights ago, when she untangled Hinata's hand. Maybe that set off that side of her, being caring just once. It was unsettling, and though the change was nice, I hope it doesn't happen again. Its just- never mind.

Kozume Kaori's POV:

I'm a mess, because of some game.  Some fucking game. The bus pulled up to Karasuno, and we all got off and headed back home. I left way before Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, not wanting to interact with anyone at the moment. On the subway, I fought back tears, the realization of how weak I am dawning over me. The train stopped, and I got my stuff. The moment I left the station, away from anyone who would see me, more tears pure out of my eyes. I ran home, not wanting anyone to see me, and slammed the door open. I know Kenma won, and is probably just coming back. I sat in my room for about an hour, until I heard the door bell ring. I got up, and basically ran to the door.