Summer love

Chapter 19

Selena's POV

I couldn't sleep the whole night because I was thinking about what Anthony said. He was actually right. I have to talk to Justin. He thought about us every day and night. He called me always and texted me too. Why have I been so blind? But he hurt me. I really don't know what to do now. And for whom am I feeling more? Why does love have to be so complicated? I sat on my bed with my arms around my legs.

"Hey, again no alarm clo... Oh, you're already up?" Anthony said, coming into my room. I looked at him, then again away.

"What's up? Didn't you sleep tonight? You look so tired." I just shook my head a bit. "Wanna talk?" Talk? I can't talk with him over boys, can I? He won't understand me. But he already helped me and listened to me, so I decided to try it. He sat down next to me, and we started talking. When I finished telling him everything, he took a moment before saying anything.

"Now you want the opinion from a boy? Well, I would say that you love Justin but won't admit it to yourself because you are so furious with him. You try not to love him, but you do."

"But what about Jacob?"

"I think you just want to like him so you don't have to admit to yourself that you love Justin. That's what I think." I thought for a short time until he went on.

"And now I think you should sleep a bit." He went outside, winking, and closed the door behind him after turning off the lights. I really could sleep a short time. It was good that I talked with Anthony. He calmed me down even if he was the one who made me think this much. After waking up, I went downstairs and realized that it was already lunchtime. Mom and Anthony were sitting at the table eating pizza.

"Morning honey. Take a plate and get some. Or do you prefer eating breakfast?" I just sat down, staring outside. I thought the whole time of Jus and Jacob.

"Selena? Are you okay?" I just nodded, still staring out of the window.

"You know I don't like you lying to me." I looked up at her when I felt tears in my eyes. Why do I cry? I just have to decide between two boys. I'm not the one who actually gets hurt. It's one of them. But I like them both. What should I do? I really don't want to hurt one because I like them both, so I can't decide. I will lose one of them. I tried to think about aspects for Justin and Jacob, and when I'm honest, I found only positives for Jacob and negatives for Jus. But then I found one positive about him. I love him. And that's a huge reason, but all the others are against him. He hurt me; there's the big distance and all these things. But I really love him, I think. But does he actually love me back? He always texts me, but does he really? Why did he do this last week to me when he would love me? And how does Jacob feel about me? Ahhh... I'm totally distressed. I just don't know what to do.

"Honey, please talk with me." She said, coming towards me. She hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead.

"I'm upstairs." Anthony said, going away. I told her everything with the hope she could help me.

"So how is this Jacob boy?"

"He's an unfamed guy from our school who has just Sel as a friend." Anthony said, laughing while he went into the kitchen.

"Haha! Why are your friends actually so mean to him? I don't understand that. You don't even know him."

"Ask them, not me." He replied going back upstairs.

"Do you love him?" My mom asked, insecure.

"I think I still love Justin, mom. But there are just so many reasons against him, and I just... just... I don't know."

"Do make that decision from all your heart, honey. Personally, I prefer this Jacob, but I don't know him."

"Why Jacob?"

"Cuz I saw how much Justin hurt you, and maybe he will do it again." I don't know what to reply. Everyone can make mistakes, and I'm sure if I decide for Jacob, he will hurt me one day too.

"Oh, it's pretty late. I have to go. I'm meeting Chelsea downtown. See ya later, honey. Do you feel better? Or should I maybe stay at home?" She asked after there was again a tear in my eye.

"No, I'm fine, mom. Thank you and have fun."

"Okay, have a nice day too." A nice day? How should I have a nice day?

I heard the doorbell ring. It has to be mom. I bet she forgot something like always. I opened the door and went straight away from it. I was still in my PJs, had messy hair, and my makeup was also terrible because I forgot to take it down yesterday evening.

"Umm... morning Selena." I heard a voice saying. I knew that it wasn't my mom. I turned around, and there was Jacob. Actually, I didn't care how I looked, so I just let him in.