Joe Sugg Imagines

Not Good Enough

Not good enough. Those are the only words that have stuck by me from year to year. The fun was taken out of every activity the more I tried to impress others. It went from being something that I thought about every minute until I was able to get back to my computer and write again, to something that I dreaded. I found out the reason why, though. 

It's because I put so much effort into the activity that I replace every ounce of will to write again with the want to be good enough. I constantly feel the desire to step up so that maybe I'll be accepted.

That was the harm in having such a successful boyfriend. Joe had enough motivation to keep going, he was constantly thinking of new ideas. You never felt quiet good enough next to him. How dare he have so much motivation and willpower? 

Seeing his eyes light up as a new video idea popped into his head and watching his leg bounce in excitement brought joy to your dull life. His joy was found in his job. He put so much passion into his work, making sure to put the best quality into everything he does. 

I desperately wished I had that kind of juice when I did anything anymore. I used to find so much calm and peace in writing, being able to express what was bottled up inside of me in such an artistic way that could help others, but it was more of a chore now. 

Music was everything I ever loved- now it's bland. There's nothing life hasn't screwed up for me. 

"Hey babe, wanna go out to dinner and a movie tonight?" Joe's voice broke me out of my daze, making me jump. I put my hand over my heart, looking up at him with wide eyes. He laughed, pulling me into his arms. 

"Couldn't we just stay in and watch marvel?" He sighed. "We haven't gone out in ages, I just want to show you off to the world. Let everyone know to keep their hands off of my love." 

If there was anything I loved most about Joe, it was his compassion. I threw myself off of the couch and lay face down on the ground, letting out an exasperated groan. Picking me up, he slung me over his shoulder and began trotting around the house. 

"Joe what are you doing?" I giggled. He ran into our shared room and threw me onto the bed, climbing on top of me and plopping himself down. I shoved him off of me with a scream. Our laughs filled the air as we lay there. Once things were quiet once again, Joe turned himself towards me. 

"What's been going on lately, love? I know when you're sad or upset." I pushed my hair out of my face and looked at him with a frown. 

"Nothing is wrong, Joe." I said sternly. He put his hand on my waist and pulled me towards him, giving me puppy dog eyes. We looked at each other for a few minutes before he realized I wasn't going to budge. 

"Do you know how sad it makes me when you're sad. It breaks my heart, babe. Please." I looked at him and sighed. 

"I just don't feel good enough lately." I spoke while attempting not to look into his eyes. 

"Everything about you is perfect, Y/N. Everything. When you wake up and nudge everything and anything, scrunching up your nose in the cutest way possible. When you get excited and raise your voice to almost a yell. Everything you do is amazing and I am so incredibly and utterly in love with you." 

Tears almost began falling from my eyes as I took in the words. He wasn't one for expressing his feelings so openly, he wasn't very good at emotions, so everything about what he had said make my heart jump. 

I entwined my hand with his as he pulled me closer to him. 

"Thank you, Joe. I love you." 

"I love you too, sunshine."