Part 5

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Author's Notes

A very short part, since it's just showing Ayato's emotional/mental state. Spoiler alert: it's not good.
~~~

Ayato's emotions hadn't changed too much since this all started; he was annoyed, then angry, then positively livid. The target of these feelings hadn't changed, until now. He had hated Ruki from the get go, but now he hated himself.

Revenge was losing it's charm, he didn't want it anymore; he just wanted out, to get as far away from Ruki as he could and never have to see him, hear his voice, his name, ever again.

He tried several times to think of something, anything, other than Ruki; nothing came. Before, he could at least remember his brothers, he'd trade those five bastards for this one in a heartbeat, but now, even their images were fuzzy. How could the memory of someone you'd known for so long be so easily distorted?

He tried to hold on to whatever he had left. 'Reiji wears glasses. Laito has a hat. Kanato has a creepy bear. Shu goes around punching things. Wait, that's Subaru....'

Feeling it all slip away was torture. It pushed Ayato in a way he hadn't experienced in who knows how long. The last time he felt like this was when that woman was still alive.

He notices that tears are silently falling from his face, as every splash against the floor echoes with the intensity of a newly shattered mirror. It was the only relief he would have in his quiet solitude, bittersweet, as it assured him that he still had his senses, that he wasn't crazy; but it was a cruel reminder that it was only a matter of time.

Ruki had left Ayato a few words the last time he visited; they replayed in his mind, over and over. "I'll be back, Pet."    

That final word made him feel sick, but it was accurate. That's what he was now; a pet, caged and tame.  

The realization hits him, that there's no way out of this, and something snaps. He starts shaking, whether it was from the cold or shock, he couldn't tell.

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