online luv

2

"MOOOOOOOM, WHERE'S THE SALT?"

"I ADDED ENOUGH SALT TO THE POTATO SALAD!"

"I DIDN'T SAY THE SALAD NEEDS SALT, I JUST—"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID THE POTATOES ARE OK, I JUST NEED THE SALT!"

"HONEY, THE POTATOES ARE—"

"FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, MOM! JUST TELL ME WHERE THE SALT IS!"

"WE RAN OUT."

"YOU COULDN'T HAVE TOLD ME THAT 30 SECONDS AGO?!"

"WHAT?"

Ohmaiglob I am so done with this family. It's gotten to the point where in my contacts, my mother is labeled Birthgiver, my father (who is very much real and in my life) is named Sperm Donor, and my brother is titled Older Offspring. I've yet to name my younger sister when she gets a phone.

After eating perfectly-salted potatoes and unflavored and unsalted chicken by myself, I went up to my room. Birthgiver was doing laundry, Sperm Donor was watching a game, and Older Offspring was probably getting high with his junkie friends. My younger sister was nowhere to be seen.

I should be showering since I just came from the beach, but imma live that thug life and chill in bed like a boss.

I dragged my notifications panel down once again. Only two new notifications:

•Roller_Coaster16 accepted your friend request. Check out their timeline now!
•AK47 has sent you a Hangouts request. Click here to enable messages from AK47.

I bet it's some creeper who wants to steal my info and rob my house. Pfft, if a burglar ever broke into my house to steal money, I'd just laugh and look with them.

I clicked Accept, and almost immediately I got a message.

AK47: Hi.

Damn Daniel. Desperate much?
This should be fun...