The Zodiac Story

Scaredy Cat

Leo's POV /////////////////////////////////////////////

"Ughhhhhh I hate that guy...", I groan, flopping on my bed in utter defeat from the bad news I had just heard and my little brave act that went with it. Zander and I go way back, as far as I can remember to be blunt with you. Everybody likes him for some reason, naturally being treated that way you'd think that way too, but there's one person who never fell for that charming look and upbeat posterior; me. But in any case, that's another story for another chap- I mean time!

As I evaluate my own case I realize just how boned I really am now. So many things could be dug up that I was desperately trying to hide. So many people could turn on me. So many people would hate me. Tears prick my eyes yet again even though I knew that being who I was, they should have some resistance to pain by now. But even so, it's not like they didn't have a right to hate me. I really have done some awful things, unspeakable things.... evil things. And really? Was I kidding myself this whole time? Did I really think I could start over? Make friends? Forget everything that I did? No. I don't think I did. I'm not completely foolish. But regardless of what I did, people like me don't deserve second chances, we don't deserve to have friends;

we deserve to burn in hell for all the things we've done.

The lives we've ruined, taken, destroyed. I know I deserve it, I just find it hard to accept.

Tears have now well since stained the purple pillow but it's not like I noticed, or if I did I didn't have the right to care. I just scooped it up and held it tight to my chest and rocked back in forth while the river continued to flow from my eyes.

It hurts. I feel utterly alone. And truly? I am. Nobody knows. Who I am, what I've done, who I've hurt....Nobody. Except. That. Doushe. Only he knows what I've done, and that makes me sick. It makes me feel weak. I have to rely on him to keep my secrets safe, even though that's the last thing on my mind. I feel.... disgusting. But why would I share my feelings with him? You may think he's not as bad as I make him out to be but trust me... that boy is awful. You'd think he'd actually listen if I told him? You'd think he'd actually let me talk? You really think that he didn't already make me feel worse? You really thought.... that I haven't tried it before? I squeeze my fists into little balls, tight as rope knots. I hate him. I hate what he's done. I hate who he is. But most of all... I hate how he can live with himself. And I hate how I can't. I hate how I can't just stand up and face what I did like he can. I hate.... My eyes squeeze shut and my body freezes itself, scrunched up so tightly it hurts.

Me.

And I don't have the right to stand up with the rest of the zodiacs and pretend to be strong and pretend like I'm so innocent. Because in the end....

"I'M THE ONE GOING TO HELL."

"It's me... not them..."

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Nobody came to my rescue. I really was hoping that somebody would but...... nobody did. Again... not like I deserve it but.... I just kinda wished they would... But I got another surprise though. Yay! He has to sleep in here with me! Because the frickin' counsel wants to make my life a living hell! Yaaayyy! "Wow nice room eh? I could totally live here for a while, it's kinda boring not flirting with you back home.", Zander laughs from somewhere below me. "DON'T get used to it.", I growl, turning up the bitchy meter, I can't afford to show weakness to him, not now! "Oh don't be like that Leo! You know I love you!", he calls, trying to cover up the sound of him rummaging through one of my drawers in my closet. " Fuck off and get outta there you pervert!", I growl, looking over the side of the bed at what he was doing. "Shit these clothes they gave you show off nothing! I'd rather see you ware your clothes from back home.", he says boredly. My face goes hot as I remember all the countless times he's seen me in my regular clothes, and believe me, back home we didn't ware what you'd call; school appropriate. "Oh Jackpot!", he laughs from inside the closet. "What'd you find in there?!", I question rather loudly. " I dunno, you tell me huh?", he laughs. Then he holds out a couple of bras and such. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PUT THOSE BACK YOU LITTLE SHIT NIPPLE!!!!!!!", I screech, embarrassed and violated beyond compare. "Not until you try them on!!!", he sings in a light voice.