The Turn of a Page

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

            I woke up with Baz holding me to his chest. I kept as quiet as I could while it occurred to me that I could feel something run down my cheek, and then it occurred to me that he was crying.

            ‘Barry?’ I whispered with concern as I wriggled out of his arms and took his hands in one of mine as I touched his cheek with my other. ‘Honey, what’s wrong?’ I found tears of my own well up in my eyes. Seeing him cry was such a rare thing that I always cried myself and every time I tried to hide it.

            ‘I was an idiot. I put your life at risk. I hadn’t expected Sharon to run after you. I didn’t even know she was part of that pack.’ His voice shook with sobs.

            Wrapping arms affectionately around his chest. ‘Oh, Baz. Baby, it’s alright. I don’t blame you. How were you to know she’d pick a fight with me? Please don’t cry. Are you hurt?’ It was a stupid question with an obvious answer.

            ‘Yeh, but I’ll be fine. But let’s have a look at you.’ He took my chin in his hand (as he always did, affectionately) and looked me over for cuts, bruises, grazes and bites. ‘We’ll get you cleaned up.’ He clearly wanted to get last night out of his head and distracting himself with looking after me. ‘That means a bath.’ I grumbled; I’ve always preferred showers. ‘Don’t complain. I’ll run you one and then give you a back rub while you have a soak.’ That cheered me up. I didn’t want to be too far from him for the time being.

            Lying down in the hot water, letting the soothing bubbles brush on my skin, I let Baz kneel on the floor beside the tub. He was resting one arm on the tub’s edge as he swished his other through the water, touching my leg every now and again. Smiling, with my eyes closed, I relaxed myself and trailed my fingers over his shoulder nearest to me.

            Taking a breath, I dipped under the surface and then pulled myself back up out of the soapy water. Baz looked at me a little worried. ‘What was that for?’ he asked as I rung the water out of my hair.

            ‘No real reason. Just felt like it. I haven’t had a bath like this in years.’

            ‘And how is it?’ He smiled thinly but warmingly with that question.

            I leant closer and resting my arms on the side of the tub. ‘Very nice, better that you’re here though.’ With a subtle smile still on his lips, he leant closer too and kissed me smartly on the corner of my own mouth. He helped me out of the hot water and wrapped my bath towel around my torso then unplugged the chain while I dried my body.

            ‘I’ll be downstairs, my pet,’ he said as he brushed his fingertips along my cheek, making me blush. I kissed his palm before letting him go.

            After blow drying my hair, I headed downstairs and curled up beside Baz on the sofa. This was something that I’ve always loved doing; I felt so safe being next to him and having his arms around me keeping me safe, close, protected and warm. The beating of his heart sounded in my ears as I put my head on his chest.

            ‘Feeling better now?’ he asked as he stroked my hair.

            I shuffled so I could get comfier. ‘Much better now, though I’m still sore from all that fighting.’

            ‘You’ll soon get used to it. Not that I want you in any more fights, but scraps over little things will definitely happen. But enough about fighting, I have some other stuff I want to talk to you about.’ Luckily none of the others were in, so we were free to talk all we liked while we sat here.

            ‘What is that?’

            He shuffled his body down. ‘Well, actually two things.’ I sat up and he lay down on his back, his legs propped up either side of me. Gesturing for me to lie on top of him, I did so and stared into his eyes. ‘You know all this pressure I have with being an Alpha?’ he asked, I nodded. ‘Well, now I truly have a mate, it’s sort of expected of me to keep my line going...’ As he hesitated, I turned my head slightly and then gasped when I realised what he was asking of me... of us.

            ‘Kids?! Baz, I’m barely twenty. You know I want to go to college and all that. How could I do that if I had a kid to look after?’ I asked shockingly.

            Taken aback, he took my head in his hands. ‘Ssshhh, Kez. I don’t mean now or even in a couple of years. Hell, I want to do go down that road too. A kid is way too much of a burden right now, for either of us. No. I meant in a few years, when we’re settled down, living together, got a good income... all of that.’

            My cheeks flushed under his hands, and I bit my lip. I had never expected him to bring this up... ever. I had always thought we would have gone our separate ways before either of us wanted to settle down. ‘I... I don’t know... what to say.’

            ‘Look, maybe you feel like I’m pushing you into this but I’m not. It’s your choice, it’s your body. But you’re a part of my life and I want us to share it in every way. We’re mates, in both ways, and I was hoping you’d be the one that I spend the rest of my life with and carry on my Alpha blood through. I hope you understand.’ He dipped his head so his chin was resting on his chest; meanwhile his fingers gently caressed my skin.

            Sniffing, tears rolling down from my eyes, I slunk down into his arms again and closed my eyes. ‘Can you give me time to think about it?’

            ‘As long as you need. But you have to remember... you’re the Alpha female and you have some expectations to fulfil too. But don’t think about that. I want to make sure you’re happy before we go into anything more.’

            ‘Hmm, ok,’ I mumbled, rolling my eyes. ‘So what is the second thing?’

            Before he told me, he leant up and kissed me sweetly on the lips. Smiling, I kissed him back though soon pushed him down and probed for him to tell. ‘Your sulk earlier? What was that for?’

            Sighing, rather flustered over thinking about it, I looked at my fingers trailing up and down his arm. ‘It was what you said. I don’t want to sound selfish or like I still think about it but... you sounded so much like Cayleb that.’

            ‘What?’ he interrupted, his voice sounding so shocked that I nearly recoiled back into my shell. ‘You should have said something. Babe, I was just teasing and I thought you knew that even as you ran after me.’

            I shook my head madly. ‘No, I couldn’t help it... the way I felt. It was so instant and I felt so mad. More with myself in some ways.’

            He gently pushed some hair out of my eyes and saw that I had fresh tears running down my cheeks (these were sad ones). ‘These tears aren’t needed, babe. I really didn’t mean it in any way like that. Can we forget I ever said it?’

            ‘Don’t be silly. Of course and you can make it all up to me later,’ I hinted but for the meantime, I snuggled up to him more than what we had been.

*****

            I spent the rest of the year thinking about what he had asked of me. Half of me, my human side, was saying it was a stupid idea and that I should say no; my other half, my werewolf side, was saying that I was obliged to stay by his side and carry his offspring as I was his mate (in the werewolf sense).

            Apart from all the expectations and worries, I knew one thing was true. I loved him. Love was all I’d ever felt for him since that first childish kiss about four years ago, and I wasn’t about to turn away from my instincts and leave him alone to find someone else who wasn’t good enough for him. No, I would stay by his side from now until the end and would never turn away when he needed me the most.

*****