The Turn of a Page

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

            I waited by the reception desks while Baz bought our tickets and some popcorn, and was still worrying about the next time I’d meet Cayleb; I was only hoping he wouldn’t give anything away by looking at me oddly in front of the class.

            Taking our tickets off Baz so he could hold the popcorn properly, I handed them to the man outside the doors that led to the different screens. As always when we came alone, we had seats on the back row. Once we had sat down, I slipped sideways and leaned as much as I could into Baz’s side (even though it was still the adverts) and he put his arm over my shoulder. Every now and then he would pick up a few popcorn pieces and put one or two into my mouth; I held his hand (that hang over me) in both of mine.

            While the film played, I was only half paying attention to it as I had other things on my mind. I do admit, mostly to myself, that I should not be thinking at all about what I was. Copies of the feelings and emotions I had felt with my last meeting with Cayleb were flowing around through my head; it still hurt me deep down in my chest that I had done what I did, but part of me (at the time) thought if I gave him what he wanted (or was after) then maybe he would leave me alone for good. Except, after that very ferocious moment when I practically pounced onto him, I seemed to be craving those feelings immediately after I had left the room and ran out of his reach.

            Shivering at the thought that I wanted more of Cayleb, I felt Baz’s eyes drop down as he squeezed me with his arm. Shuffling a bit, I looked up into his eyes and put on a small smile.

            ‘Almost over now, hun. You seem a bit bored,’ he whispered down into my ear.

            ‘Nah, I’m not bored. I’m just very comfortable,’ I said, defending my somewhat tiredness.

            Kissing my lips, he smiled and sort of leant into me too.

            We sat in my car, outside our house, I had took the key out of the ignition and sat with my hands in my lap and my forehead resting on the steering wheel; Baz sat patiently next to me in the passenger seat. The air between us was a little awkward; he had asked me what I thought of the night and I took a little too long in answering which had made him think I hadn’t liked it at all.

            ‘You seemed like you weren’t paying much attention in the cinema,’ he began. ‘Is there something on your mind you want to talk about, Kez?’ he asked with concern in his voice.

            Sighing a little and dropping my shoulders, I turned my head and looked at him. ‘I’m just a little confused lately, Barry. I mean, I sometimes feel like I’m in the wrong place around you werewolves. And well, sometimes...’ I hesitated.

            His right hand slipped into mine and he lifted my head off the steering wheel with his other. ‘Whatever it is, you can tell me.’

            ‘Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you, or you deserve better than me. After all I am just a human and you’re a... well you know. I sometimes feel a little below you.’ With every word I said, he looked more and more hurt or upset.

            He caressed my cheek with his hand and leaned over a bit. ‘Oh, Kerry, I never knew you felt like that at all, ever. Well, you’re perfect for me. It doesn’t matter that you’re a human, to me that’s the best part about you. You can love in a way that not even I understand. As weird as that sounds, it’s true. I love you so much, but I get scared myself sometimes that you might think that I don’t love you as much compared to what you feel for me.’ Even as he spoke, I became surprised at what he was saying.