Ang Lexicon ni Alexi para kay Alex

dance

dance

verb

: movements with no prearranged choreography could feel a little awkward, but tend to be special in certain occasions

Disney must have influenced us, female of the species, to imagine ourselves in a grand ball, dancing with a handsome prince while clad in an exquisite gown. Sa mga nangarap ng ganito, natupad na siguro nila yun kahit papaano sa prom night nuong highschool. As for me, I skipped JS prom for the following reasons: (1) Sayang sa pera. (2) Ayokong mag-dress sa panahon na 'yon. (3) Wala namang makikipag-sayaw sakin at kung meron man, aayawan ko rin ang pagsayaw. I was saving my first dance for someone special. (Like saving the V-thing and as if a dance with a boy could probably lead to unwanted impregnation) Unfortunately, in highschool, I never liked anyone and no one liked me.

And then it unexpectedly happened. My first dance.

We dislike Paskuhan. Ayaw natin makipagsiksikan, manuod ng concert na hindi natin favorite yung artists at hindi tayo fan ng fireworks na nakakasira ng ozone layer. It was the Christmas season-loving Jasmine who forced us to attend Paskuhan- maski isa lang daw beses sa buhay natin dahil paano raw kapag namatay na tayo bukas. (Jas and her morbid thoughts dahil sa Final Destination) Sa ngalan ng pag-ibig, pumayag ka. Sa ngalan ng pagkakaibigan, pumayag si Charlie. Sa ngalan ng mga ka-tropa ni Alex Browning na di na nasilayan ang bukas dahil sa gruesome nilang kamatayan, pumayag ako.

The humongous Christmas tree, the excited/happy look on everybody's faces (except yung mga na-bwisit dahil hindi sila maka-tawag/text dahil walang signal), well-lit Christmas lights hanging on the trees- It was such a festive view, but not quite interesting to my senses. You know that I dislike Christmas; tinatawag mo pa nga kong 'The Grinch'.

Nung mag-uumpisa na yung performance, lalong napuno ng tao sa may field. Gusto ni Jasmine yung magpe-perform kaya nagpasama siya sa'yo. I saw the stressed look on your face. Alam kong kagaya ko, namimili ka rin ng mga gerang pupuntahan. Kung ikaw lang ang pipili, hindi ka makikilangoy sa sea of people na kumakanta in-chorus ng Sandalan, pero nahatak ka ng girlfriend mo. Iba talaga pag in love.

Charlie and I stayed in front of the Main Building after we finished eating our cheese sticks. Marami ding tao, pero hindi kasing dami ng nanunuod ng concert. We talked about anything random and I honestly enjoyed that moment until one of the Varsity boys showed up. Pinakilala siya sakin ni Charlie tapos nagpaalam siyang aalis muna kasama ng 'Highschool friend' na 'yon. I didn't mind at all, sabi ko sa tapat ng Main Building lang ako maglalakad-lakad.

After ng Sandalan song, nakita kitang naglalakad papuntang Lovers lane kaya hinabol at tinawag kita. Mukha kang haggard. You said you were looking for Jasmine. Nagkahiwalay kayo sa kaguluhan sa field at hindi mo na siya makita kaya umalis ka na muna saglit para makahinga. Hinanap mo rin sa'kin si Charlie at kinwento ko yung nangyari. We almost shouted our words- lumakas na naman kasi ang ingay ng mga tao sa paligid dahil nag-announce na yung performer ng next song -Upside-down

"Nauuhaw ka ba?" I asked.

You shook your head and replied, "Okay lang ako."

I've been spending some time, thinking I'll be alright
Don't know if I could really make it tonight.

Lumingon-lingon ka sa mga taong dumadaan habang ikaw naman ang pinanuod ko. Basa ng pawis yung white T-shirt mo.

Lie awake in the dark, come down then I start.
Thinking about you is almost breaking my heart.

"Alexi," Biglang inabot mo sa'kin yung kamay mo ng nakaharap yung palad. Nilaro ko yung daliri ko sa gitna - saw-saw suka mahuli taya. Tinawanan mo ko.

"Hindi saw-saw suka! Sayaw tayo, tara," Ang sabi mo.

I don't know where I went wrong, or what's going on.

"Seryoso ka?" Ang pagulat kong tanong. "Habang nawawala yung date mo, gusto mong magsayaw?" Parehas tayong may saltik, pero minsan nagugulat parin ako sa mga trip mo sa buhay.

Baby, I feel like our love's lost tonight.

Kinuha mo yung mga kamay ko at nilagay sa balikat mo at nilagay mo yung mga kamay mo sa bewang ko.

"Walang signal, di ko naman matatawagan si Jas. Enjoyin nalang natin to! Sayang e."

May point ka. Nilabanan ko sa utak ko na magpasalamat sa kawalan ng signal.

Should I stay, should I go?
Well, I really don't know.

At nangyari ang first dance ng buhay ko.

Lately I've been missing you so.

Nagsimula kang gumalaw at sumunod lang ako. Left. Right. Mabagal lang.

Baby, you don't understand our love lies lost,
But you're still holding my hand.
Oh, and then you walk away.
Just tonight, I want you to stay.

You pressed your cheek against mine for a few seconds. Ginawa mong sandalan ng pisngi mo yung pisngi ko. Naramdaman ko pa na dumikit yung tumutulong pawis mo sa'kin.

"Grabe, nakakapagod sa gitna kanina!" Ang sabi mo na may kasamang buntong-hininga. "Kaya mas gusto ko sa stage e."

"Medyo pagod din ako."— Pagod ding habulin ka sa isip ko ng 'di mo alam.

You're turning me on, you turn me around.
You turn my whole world upside down.

Humarap ka sa'kin. Your face was a few inches from mine. Ngumiti ka- Hindi ko alam kung natutuwa ka sa fact na naka-survive ka sa dami ng tao sa gitna o nag-eenjoy kang kumapit sa (baby) fats ko sa bewang. (Baka yung latter dahil humigpit yung kapit mo)

You're turning me on, you turn me around.
You turn my whole world upside down.

Nagsimula kang sabayan yung vocalist. Rinig kita dahil sobrang lapit mo. I could even smell your Tic-tac minty fresh breath.

Every time I hurt you, well it's hurting me too.
Don't know if I could really stay here tonight.

Tired of thinking of you, I never think that you do.
Tell me, what am I supposed to do?
Well, I just wanted to say that I need you today.

Tell me it's all gonna work out alright.
I don't know where I should I start,
But with all of my heart,
Baby, let me be your lover tonight

Tumitig ka sa'kin na parang test paper yung mukha ko. Ganyang-ganyan yung tingin mo sa papel nuong hindi mo maalala yung capital ng Uzbekistan o yung translation ng 21 sa French class.

Baby, you don't understand our love lies lost,
But you're still holding my hand.

Oh, and then you walk away.
Just tonight, I want you to stay.

There is a sudden realization that I can use this song to say that you turn me on, without sounding like a perverted creep.

You're turning me on, you turn me around.
You turn my whole world upside down.

Amoy pawis ka na may halong vanilla. (It was Jasmine's perfume, I'm sure) I was sweaty as well (God, sana amoy babae naman ako nung gabing 'yon) and my breath smelled like cheese stick. I was wearing T-shirt, jeans and worn-out sneakers at ganun ka din pero medyo madungis ka na dahil maalikabok yung pantalon at sapatos mo nang manggaling ka sa field. We both mentioned that we were never a fan of that Upside down song and that band. Kung tutuusin din, parang hiniram nga lang kita sa prinsesa ng fairytale mo kahit ikaw yung nagyayang sumayaw. This was definitely not the perfect scene that I imagined in my childhood dreams and yet— it somehow felt perfect.

Pero katulad ng kay Cinderella na nagpunta sa grand ball, may hangganan din ang sayaw natin.