e d i t

chapter twenty-nine

your apartment
yn
four fifty two, Thursday December thirty-first, twenty-sixteen.

Callie: I'll be there in seven minutes.

yn: seven?

Callie: seven.

I took the last text with a nod and clicked off my phone. I closed my eyes, throwing my hand to my forehead, taking in shaky, uneven breaths. I was sitting with my knees drawn up to my chest, my arms slung over them, tear tracks leading down my face. It was hard to feel happy, it was hard to feel anything in this house, in this place where Eli and I used to spend every waking moment together. Even weeks later, even months later, even years later, this place would trigger anxiety attacks.

All I could think of was the thud of his body hitting the ground and the crack  of his skull on the pavement and all I could ever think of while being in that house was him and his death. The last couple of weeks were okay, but nothing could stop me from crying myself to sleep most nights, remembering him there with me once.

I looked back at all my past memories, then those of which began when I met Max, I closed my eyes and ran through them like a movie as if trying to calm myself down.

I met him one night with Callie, he had been with Tim and Ross and he had pointed at his menu, pointed! Ha! He continued to come and then he asked me out in the parking lot and well, I said no because Eli. He left for a little while until he came back and he forgot his wallet and we touched hands, what a wild card. next I taunted him and made him angry and he had pushed me up against the wall and kissed me and well goddamn it that was the hottest thing I think has ever happened to me before but then I slammed my head against the wall. And then I left Eli, and I left Ihop, the two things I thought were home, the two thing I thought were safe, because of him. It felt bad, it felt wrong but the only way to progress in life is to move forward and leave things behind, happiness lives outside your comfort zone, Max taught me that. And then we were sleeping in the same bed at a dingy motel and we shared kisses and walks and held hands and I still have his sweater- I do. And then Eli died, and Max stayed with me. I met all his friends and made them my own, And when I was having an anxiety attack at his house, Max stayed with me and encouraged me to be strong.

And now I have a job doing something that I actually enjoy, more so than ihop and I have a guy that I don't feel trapped with, something I never felt with Eli.

I smiled at how far I had come, at the meaning in my life, at how no matter who dies or leaves and no matter what jobs you quit and who you loose, surrounding yourself with what makes you happy is the most important thing you can ever do because ever since I met Max and ever since he gave me butterflies and ever since I started doing things for myself rather than others-

I've been happy.

And a knock at the door confirmed my very best friend was here to help me get ready for a new years eve party at my new job with my guy and all my new friends and I stood up and walked to the door. my cheeks were stained by tears- sure, but hell if I wasn't smiling.

I opened the door and in rushed Callie, we watched a movie and ate some dinner and at six-thirty she broke out her makeup kit and began making me over. It wasn't so much for looks as it was fun, I put on the outfit I had bought the other day and curled the ends of my hair, she stood in front of me at the door, a look of something akin to admiration smeared across her face and she began to tear up.

"You look so beautiful," She said,

"Okay- dad."

"I'm just so happy for you, (y/n), look at how far you've come" She gleamed.

"Yeah yeah," I said, pulling her into a hug. She left soon after and I was left waiting for Max. He appeared at the door in a pair of black jeans and a dress shirt, cuffed and rolled to above the elbows, beanie sitting atop his head.

"Wow!" I said,

"Wow me? Wow you!" He replied, his eyes lit up as he studied me and I felt myself redden and the familiar leap of butterflies churned in my stomach. He held out his hand and I took it, closing and locking the door behind me.

We drove with the radio on low, teasing and joking back and forth, and we arrived without incident. The two of us stepped out of the car at the sky media offices and walked hand in hand to the door, but before I could pull it open he stopped walking and grabbed me by the elbow. I did a little half-skip and a turn facing him, wide eyed and confused.

"Hm?" I asked,

"Look, (y/n), I uhm-" He started, it was very apparent he was nervous, his eyes were darting between everything except for mine own.

(I felt my heart flutter for a second, and my heart filled up with butterflies in the fleeting moment he stopped to bite his lips out of nerves)

(The ihop parking lot)

"Well, I've been thinking about this-

(all night)

-for a little while and I was wondering if-" Both his hands were holding mine and he was looking into my eyes causing my heart to race and my nerves to soar.

(If you'd want to go out sometime? Alone? and not at ihop?)

"If you'd want to be my girlfriend?" He asked, his face full of hope, his eyes filled with a certain vulnerability I'd never ever ever seen from him.

(Only was it then though, that I remembered who I was driving home to-)

(I saw him as he looked down towards his feet, he looked upset for a moment but it was short lived-)

His eyes were all over my face, probably trying to get a read on what I was thinking, what I was going to say, what my next move could be, though what he probably didn't know was I was thinking about this exact moment sixty-four days ago. It was the same situation, only this time I didn't have a boyfriend, this time I didn't have a reason to say no, I didn't have anything stopping me.

(I smiled sadly at him, at his cute face and his fiery red hair and I said-)

"Yes." I said, "Yes I will."

He pulled me to him and into a kiss and together we walked into the building, together as a couple, as boyfriend and girlfriend.

together having overcome so many problems, together despite everything, he and I.

And that's when it happened- the unthinkable, that was when the unthinkable happened-

Author's note

Hey guys! This chapter had me feeling super nostalgic and gave me hella feels, all the stuff in brackets was me quoting parts of the chapter when Max first asked her out in the empty ihop parking lot, I did that to not only give you the feels but to portray how many thing have changed and trust me things are going to keep changing! This story has been a lot of fun to write and I want to thank all of ya'll forreal, you guys are fantastic. Don't forget to vote/follow and leave a comment down below about what you thought about this chapter or what you think is going to happen! I'm so stoked you guys are liking my story, I love you all.

(There's also a few very valuable lessons in this chap, so thank god for that)

As always guys, stay lovely!