Deciding on You || a.i. (Book 2)

12 | Ashton

Valentine's Day should be a literal f*cking sin.

I've always hated it, but at least in the past I could go somewhere and get laid by some lonely, hot girl. Now, the bullshit "holiday" can only be spent doing one thing -- realizing how much I f*cked things up with Maddie.

After yesterday, I'm sure she probably never wants to speak to me again. I shouldn't have even invited her. I should have just left her alone and kept on trying to be the person she needs. From afar.

But no, I just had to see her. Now I've scared her off and, according to Michael's messenger man ass, she's going on a date with a tanned, over-achieving asshole who is probably ten times better than me in every way, shape, and form.

I might vomit just thinking about the romantic things he'll do for her today. Holding doors open and paying the bill just got ten times more disgusting.

"Happy Valentine's Day to the only boys who will never break my heart," my mom says as soon as I sulk my way into the kitchen.

"Nice try, Mom," I say, yawning, "Pretty sure I've broken your heart once or twice."

She rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her coffee before reaching out to embrace me. I hug her back weakly as she mumbles, "You've disappointed me a few times. There's a difference, and I still love you."

"Yeah, yeah," I say. I'd grin but that takes too much effort today.

Harry's already sitting at the table scarfing down the strawberry pancakes my mom has made us. I sit next to him, where a plate is already made for me, and ruffle his hair.

"How was sleeping in your new bed?" I ask.

"The best...ever," he says through a mouthful of bacon.

"Good," I say, and I crack a smile just for him.

The only thing that kept me from having a nervous breakdown after Maddie left yesterday was finishing putting together that desk. The look on Harry's face when he saw his newly designed room was worth it and, in those few moments of making him happy, I may have even forgotten about how much of a piece of shit I am.

"So, what are your plans for today?" My mom asks, sitting down across from me as I dig into my own pancakes.

I look up at her with sad eyes and hope she gets the hint.

"I'm gonna draw Megan a picture," Harry boasts, wiggling in his seat. What I would give to be so pure in my romantic efforts again.

"I'm sure she'll love it," she says, "How about you, Ash?"

Clearly, she didn't get the hint. The question serves one purpose only -- for her to figure out if Maddie and I are a thing again.

"You should draw Maddie a picture!" Harry says and I shake my head.

"Uh, I'll probably just do my stats homework and then watch Spider-Man or something," I say. God, that sounds so effing lame. Who the hell does homework on a Saturday night?

My mom just nods at me, looking sorry as hell. She must think it's just as lame as I do, but it's better than laying in bed with the covers over my head all day.

I finish my pancakes as quickly as humanly possible and go back upstairs with Harry. My mom would take the opportunity of him leaving the room to talk to me about Maddie, and a conversation like that would have me heartsick enough to actually lay in bed and do nothing.

I'm in the middle of my fourth episode of Ultimate Spider-Man and my second bowl of instant rice when my phone rings and makes me jump out of my seat. For a split second, I think it might be Maddie, but it's only Reagan calling and she probably just wants to thank me for setting her up with Michael.