The Tomlinson's nanny. (L.T)

Changes.

16th January 2014.

Olivia's POV.

...

After a few weeks of over thinking everything, trying to figure out what I did to him to deserve this I've decided that I really don't deserve it, instead of feeling sorry for myself I have just been working harder than ever to assure Jay that this is still where I want to be, Jay and the girls have stopped asking if I am okay, which makes it easier because I don't want to talk about it with them, Louis is their son and brother so I don't really feel comfortable speaking about this particular issue with them, even though I know they would be supportive I just can't.

Tylah, who knows me better than anyone wishes she could be here, she wants so badly to be able to see me and support me in person, she is already planning a trip to see me soon and has even spoken about moving here, at first I thought she was joking but the more she says it the more serious she seems, I really do just need my best friend at the moment because she is the only one I have.

I have spoken to Jay and she is more than happy for me to have Tylah come and stay for a while, she knows something more has gone on behind the scenes with Louis and I, just not what, well if she does she hasn't said anything which I am thankful for.

I have had many missed and ignored phone calls from Louis, I have deleted each text message that I have received without reading them (under Tylah's advice) I have been curious and tempted, but I am not interested in what he has to say, he hurt me and if I mean nothing to him at least I can pretend he means nothing to me, why he would even try to call and text after what he did I don't understand, it is sick for him to keep playing games like this and I won't let him play me again.

I have also spoken to Jay about getting an apartment of my own somewhere close by, obviously the plan wasn't for me to permanently live with Jay and all that has happened has given me more of a reason to stand on my own feet and become a little more independent, Jay says that it is totally fine as long as I am close enough that when she needs me I can get there quickly and that it doesn't effect work, she understands my need for a little personal space I think, especially when Louis comes home.
I will keep my bedroom at Jays because there will be many nights that I will be needed to spend the night, especially once the twins arrive!
But this way I will be able to go home when I need to and get a bit of a break when needed.
Jay is going to help me find an apartment, preferably furnished so that I don't have to buy furniture, Jay said she will help in whatever way is needed which is so nice of her, I honestly can't thank her enough.
The girls seem more excited than I am, especially Lottie who is already talking about sleepovers and such.
Hopefully it will all be sorted out before Tylah comes and she can just stay at the apartment.

Harry has been super busy since he returned to work, which I totally understand but I don't really have him to speak to about these things, and considering that most of the short phone calls that we have shared he has been trying to make excuses for Louis, which has been really getting on my nerves, like what he did could be excused, I was kind of feeling glad we hadn't been able to speak a lot, luckily Harry seems to have caught on to my irritation and has been speaking to me without bringing up how this wasn't really Louis' fault and acting more like a normal friend, if Louis thinks that getting other people to fix his mistakes will work he is wrong and seriously needs to grow up a bit.
I am not somebody who will allow herself to be walked over and used, no woman should be treated that way and it is important to know your worth, if you don't allow somebody to treat you in a way you don't deem acceptable they can't make you feel any less than you are.
And as far as I was aware Louis was raised better than that, I am certain that Jay would have instilled much stronger virtues and values into her son, I didn't think he would be someone to treat women this way but clearly I was mistaken.
But none of that matters now, I am here for a purpose, and that is for Jay and her children, it is time for me to focus on what is truly important, my job and my happiness, I am in England working the career of my dreams for an incredible family, this all means the world to me and I'm not going to let anything ruin it for me.

A/N I hope it all makes sense, feel free to point out errors and if it doesn't flow etc enjoy xx