The Tomlinson's nanny. (L.T)

The other side.

20th Jan 2014

Louis' POV

So basically I am lost, all I want to do is see her face and hear her voice, that night with Olivia was unmistakably the best night of my life and I only wish I could have just stayed with her forever, I would give up so much to be with her and I realise that now but after one stupid decision, not really even my decision if I am honest, I think I have lost her.

Literally the most incredible girl that I have ever met and the only girl that I want to be with and she won't even pick up the phone when I call, i have been trying non stop whenever i get a chance for weeks with no response.

I realise that it is my fault, after that tweet and leaving her alone like that after our night together it must have made her feel pretty low and I wouldn't be surprised if she never spoke to me again.

At the time I thought I was doing the right thing, sheltering her from the hate she had already started receiving from our fans, not only that but management was super pissed about the photos the paps took of us together in and after the club, to say that I was in trouble is a huge understatement; I was basically put on lockdown, not allowed to do anything or see anyone.
I wasn't even supposed to have Liv's phone number anymore but Harry helped me out with that.

He has been trying to help me out with the whole situation but Olivia is not interested in anything that Harry has to say for me and since she won't listen to him and she won't answer my calls or my texts it seems that I don't really have a chance to explain myself at all.

You see management have decided that because a lot of people don't really believe that Olivia and I aren't together that I need a girlfriend. . like a cover up. . which I am in no way agreeable towards the idea but its becoming clear that I actually don't have a choice in the matter and its making me crazy.

I want to call Liv and tell her that it isn't real and that if I could I would be back there with her in a heartbeat because she is the one I want to be with, but soon apparently I will be meeting my new girlfriend, and I will finally be allowed to be out in public, with her only, but how can I fake my happiness when I am not with the person I truly want to be with, knowing that she is probably hurt and will more than likely see all of the pictures that the paps snap of us together and will want even less to do with me, its like the less I want to hurt her the more I realise I am probably going to and I can't stand it.

I need to see her, if I can't get through to her via phone then I will just have to go and see her in person to explain, I can't leave her in the dark any longer and I can't just let her believe that I would do this to her, she needs to know his I feel about her and she needs to know the truth before its too late and I know once photos and stories come put about me and this pretend girlfriend there will be no going back, I need to talk to Harry, I need to get on a plane tonight.