Dreams To Reality

.1.

Adira

"This isn't real, you're going to disappear"

"I'm never going to leave you" his voice is so deep, but it's soothing.

His touch feels so real, sometimes I wonder if this is real. His brown eyes bore into mine getting darker, his skin so perfect that I'm afraid to touch it. It's like the gods up above each put a piece of them in him to make this perfect creature. Is this even possible? Is he even human? I'm stuck, stuck in this pool of brown, swirling around in his eyes. He has captured me in them, no matter how hard I try to look away I can't. I can no longer look at him, his stare makes me feel... Love. But no one will ever love me, I want to look away! I no longer want to look in his eyes! I don't want to be disappointed again, I just don't... I can't.

His mouth begins to move like he is talking to me, but I can't make out the words. He cups my cheek, his hand is so cold but I love it, it makes me feel alive and... safe like I don't have to worry anymore. He is still speaking to me but I can't hear it. I'm confused, so very confused. He is beginning to fade away, I no longer feel safe, I feel alone. It gets dark, my eyes are closing and I'm trying so hard to keep them open, I don't want to go. I fully fall into the cold darkness.

***
My eyes shoot open I sit up and look around. I heavy a sigh, I'm in my room, the room my mother never decorated for me, my plain tan walls and plain grey bed sheets. She doesn't allow me to sleep with everything you should have on your bed, she tells me I deserve to toss and turn at night, that I deserve to be cold. I'm lucky she even let's me have some good clothes.

My beat up room door fly's open, "Wake up! I shouldn't have to do this every morning your not worth my time, but I do this because unfortunately you're my daughter," she says with so much hate "and I'm a good mother."

My heart squeezes, I'm used to this though. I get treated this way because she says I'm the reason my father left her. She would always tell me that she hates me, because I'm not what my dad wanted, he left because I was and ugly little girl.

"Yes mother" she is no longer my mom, she is my mother. A mom loves and cares for her child. A mother is just the one who gave birth to a child. This woman I call mother wishes death upon me, even though she doesn't say it aloud she thinks it, I can tell by the way she looks at me.

My mother is a very beautiful woman, but her heart makes her the most ugliest woman of them all. I get out of bed and make my way to the bathroom, I take a shower than brush my teeth. I don't wear make up, I see no point in it, it may hide blemishes and scars but like mother told me make up will never hide my ugliness. I put on grey joggers and a white sweater, with my white converse.

"Hurry the hell up!"

"Yes mother" I grab my bag and run down the stairs to be met by a hand to the face.

I fall to the ground, and I breath in and out through my nose, "that's going to leave a mark" I whisper to myself.

"What did I tell you about taking your time? you have no one to impress! Do you?"

"No mother" I gather my books and stand up.

"Good, no one would be impressed with a waste like you anyway."

I let out another breathe, I get sick of dealing with this everyday, but I can't do anything or she will hit me. Even though I was never taught, I know not to hit your mother, ever.

"Go get on the fucking bus" she dismisses me.

"Yes mother" I leave through the front door with a sigh, the only time I ever have a break is when I'm walk to the bus from or to school.

I wait for the bus while softly singing to my favorite song, Last breath by future.

I got angels all around me
Yeah yeah
I got love all around me
Yeah yeah
I'll be a fighter till the end
Till my last breath
Ima hustle till my last breath

It speaks to me, call me weird but it helps me keep going. I know you might be thinking how can a song help you keep going? Well when you actually take the time to listen to the lyrics you can keep going. As you can see I have a lot of time on my hands because I have no friends to hang out with because no one at my school notices my presence. The finally shows up and I'm met with kids talking loudly.

I move to the back of the bus keeping my head down. I hate making eye contact with the kids from school, they don't bully me, no, they just secretly judge me on everything I do.

***
I walk down the hallway trying to maneuver my way through the sea of people until I finally make it to my locker.

"Why do you bother coming to school?" I take back what I said about not getting bullied, Kelly is the only one who talks to me, to bad its not as friends. Sometimes I wonder why I take shit from people, I let them walk all over me.

"Because my mom made me, why the hell else?"

My eyes widened after what I said, the hallway is dead silence. Oh shit. I couldn't have kept it to myself.

"Look who finally grew a back bone" she crosses her arms and smirks. "Your the only black girl I know that acts like a little fucking baby. And I know a lot of black people." people laugh at that, how the hell is that even funny?

"Kelly, get away from me" 1...

"Or what black girl" 2...

"I'm serious Kelly"

She looks around the hallway, "She thinks she's scary everyone" 3... I lung at her, I tackle her to the ground and start throwing punches at her face, I'm tired of people walking all over me like I'm nothing. Kelly knows my biggest insecurity is being a black girl, we used to be best friends in elementary school, but now she thinks she is to good to be friends with me.

Kelly screams at me as I keep punching until I'm pulled off by a pretty strong grip. Its a guy. Shit. I turn around in the guys arms and see brown eyes....  his skin so perfect that I'm afraid to touch it... Its him, the mysterious guy from my dreams. My head starts swirling, his eyes boring into mine make my knees go weak, I feel my vision blurring but before I pass out the only thing on my mind is who is he?