An Iris in the Roses

help me.

                  
A/N: Hi! Not a regular schedule but when did I ever have one? Please enjoy and I will probably be writing more because I am finally on holiday and the pressure of school and the rest of my life has been lifted from my shoulders for 1 and 1/2 glorius week. That is until I realise I have homework and assignments that I need to start working on and that if I don't start doing them then I'm going to fail all my subjects which will inevitable lead to me being yelled at and getting disappointed look then my parents taking my internet privileges away more than they already have leading me to cry myself to sleep at night knowing that I'll never finish this story for you guys and then the world will implode and we'll all live unhappily ever after. Well that got dark fast, sorry. Anyway please do enjoy and I'll write some more for you guys :)
Where had this lack of control come from? When had I become such a mess? What am I going to do? I felt like this was a bad dream and that I'd wake up any moment after having fallen asleep by some miracle without the help of sleeping pills. I knew it was reality though, deep down and I was horrified with what I had done. A trained killer has no place in a domestic lifestyle. I should have realised that by now but of course I hadn't, I thought I was stronger than my father in that respect. More talented, better at hiding my true intents, more cunning, more malicious, more... psychotic.

I wanted to rip my hair out. I wanted to scream. I wanted cry. Why was life so unfair? I thought as tears rolled down my face as I roamed the halls of Ouran. Home was the last place I wanted to be right now. The sympathetic looks I got from the staff were burned into my mind. They pitied me. That angered me. My hand twitched at the thought of pulling out a gun and shooting moving targets. My brain whirled as I recalled the vigorous, inhuman training I'd gone through.

Leaning against a wall in one of the many hallways my mind wandered into a state consideration. Why was I okay with the idea of killing people for no reason other than I was being paid to do so? Had I just been condition throughout my entire life or was there a psychological reason as to why the power to kill fascinated me and makes me feel alive.

"Iris?" Tamaki questioned me. He always shows up when I just want to be alone. I turned my head to look at my friend vulnerability clearly seen on my face; my puffy red rimmed eyes that were glassy, my cheeks red from where I had been rubbing my tears away, the fear that could be seen in my eyes due to the lack of my mask.
"Please just leave me alone." I whispered rubbing at my eyes willing for the tears to go away.
"I'm not going to leave you alone Iris you're my friend." He told me wrapping his arms around my torso and pulling me close. I let out a choked sob as the realisation of what he had told me.

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered into his chest as my tears subsided.
"There's nothing wrong with you Iris," He smiled down at me. "You're an amazing friend!" he told me before I found myself being spun around by him. A small smile crept onto my face as the lovable idiot in front of me attempted to cheer me up.
"You're an idiot," I giggled hugging him after he had placed me back on the ground again. He let that comment slide and hugged me back.
"Are you going to come back to the club room?" He asked hopefully.
"Okay," I replied causing Tamaki to pull me along after him and started telling me about this girl he liked.