I woke up the next day, my head pounding, in a room I did not recognize. Studying the room before me, I smiled pleasantly. The walls were painted in the beautiful neon blue color that I used as nail polish every Friday.
The sheets below me were zebra-striped, making them very attractive. I love Zebras. They have always been my favorite animal, because they have such wonderful skin. Dr. Alexandra has always noted their beautiful skin, and his dermatologist office is made of zebra fur.
“You’re up!” I heard an unknown voice shriek before me.
Glancing around, searching for the source, I found a strange creature standing in front of me. It had platinum blonde hair, light blue eyes, and it was wearing a pink spacesuit. I didn’t recognize it at first, but then I remembered.
I remembered everything that happened last night. The strobe lights in my face, the people at the club shivering when they heard my voice, and the unisex person that I stripped for. Gaga.
“Hello there, Gaga.” I greeted the unisex creature from last night.
“Alejandro.” He/she singsonged happily.
“Where am I?” I asked, confused.
“You’re in my nest.”
At that, I stood up and inspected myself in a mirror nearby.
I looked fabulous, as always. My stunning charcoal skin glowing, my green eyes glittering, and my amazing body strong and hard. I really was a sight to behold.
I inspected my clothes: I was wearing a strange orange jumpsuit.
“Did you dress me?” I asked Gaga.
“Yes. Don’t you like it?” He/she furrowed her brows, studying my appearance.
“I do.”
“Let’s do something today. Something fun, like last night.” He/she said, smiling mischievously.
“I want to go to the beach.”
“Perfect. I know the perfect beach.”
We left in his/hers small yellow car. It was a truck really. At the back it said ‘Pussywagon.’ This made me wonder about he/she’s sexuality.
“Are you gay?” I asked Gaga.
“No. I’m pansexual.” He/she said.
“What is that?”
“It means I like everything–everyone. Black, people, white people, fat people, thin people, tall people, round people, ugly people, pretty people. Even Asians.”
“Ew.” I screamed, disgusted.
Gaga shrugged as we pulled into the beach. He/she parked her/his car inside a bakery nearby.
As we walked into the beach, I sighed at the beauty before me. This was a sexy beach, I could tell. It was a nude beach. The sand was the color of lollipops, pink. The water was as clear as my face, beautiful. Thinking of my face, reminded me of something that made me gasp.
Oh my Allah. I didn’t use my products last night! My beautiful Proactiv and Clearskin.com products. Eh Mah Allah. I need to speak with Dr. Alexandra. Now.
“Gaga. Hold on. I have an emergency.” I said, my voice catching the attention of everyone at the beach.
I dialed 911.
