L O S T .|| ✔ //MxM

T W E N T Y - F O U R .

Because I had felt dismissal in his tone the last time he spoke to me, I couldn't find it in me to go and check up on him the next day.

Instead I sat in my shower after a long day at work and began to pick apart his words. Since over analyzation was my forte, it didn't take me that long to arrive at negative thoughts.

He definitely don't want you.

Gosh! I'm behaving like a pathetic five year old. Instead of a billion dollar CEO.

I take in a breath and think of how I've longed for a companion and love to call mine. It's not that I don't have my fair share of potentials been thrown at me, I've just never put in effort or shown interest enough to turn that longing into reality.

So why now? I ask myself.

There were so many emotions yearning to burs out of me but my aloofness has kept a tight leash on them.

I try to imagine how life would be if I had a boyfriend to come home to. How domesticated I'd be.

We'd talk over dinner which would most likely be take out. I don't think I would want a live in chef to be privy to our dealings.

Then wash the dishes together. Or dump the trash.

While he's trying to reach for a wine glass on the top shelf, he'd stretch and I'll catch a glimpse of his dark skin.

Fucking mindlessly on the kitchen table would be the next itinerary. And I'll cum to the sound of him screaming my name.

Just as soon as the fantasy is conjured up, it pans out immediately. It would never happen anyway.

I pick myself up and proceed to soften up my wood.