Dangerous Loving Game-Mikannie{Finished}

I don't wanna believe but I do

"So you think that Annie is the Female Titan." Surprisingly the girl who said the sentence, Mikasa, managed to keep her voice steady and her expression unwavering. But if you looked closely you could see disbelief, anger, but also dawning horror in her eyes. "Why would you say such a thing Armin?" Mikasa asked with concealed apprehension in her voice. "You better have some evidence to confirm that statement or else I-I'll never forgive you." Mikasa's voice was on the edge of cracking but she still had conviction in it. 'I can feel my heart beating in my chest. Is that true? Did Annie really betray humanity? No! Of course not, she would never do such thing. She always talked about caring about the little people.' Armin looked at her worried, noting how with every passing second she seemed to wind up even tighter. He knew this news might isolate herself even more from others. But he also knew that now was not time to be beating around the bush. He decided to just say it outright. "The Female Titan responded to when I called Eren by his nickname "Suicidal Bastard" a name that is only known to members of the 104th training squad and the only person who is a part of that squad and not accounted for is Annie. Not only that but when when the Scouting Legion did that equipment check to see who killed the Titan test subjects, Sonny and Bean, Annie submitted not her own 3D Maneuver Gear but Marco's. There is other evidence but I think it might be better if Commander Erwin shared it with you." Commander Erwin on cue walked in to the small room where Armin and Mikasa are in and takes out some papers out of his bag. His expression is stoic as always, knowing he is just doing what needs to be done and he is preventing Mikasa from possibly being in danger by staying with Annie. "Annie Leonhardt was not on duty at the time of the Female Titan's attack and reports from members Military Police show that nobody had seen Annie that day except during breakfast. Annie had been very secretive the night before and some have said that she was talking to herself and grunting. Her roommate Hitch said that Annie had been very tired lately and seemed to be very caught up in her self. There's also another part of our evidence that I think Levi is more better to explain. Levi if you would please come in." Said man walked into the room and took a stance next to Armin, facing Mikasa, his eyes never leaving her face even for a split second as he shared his side of the evidence. "Annie is a very accomplished fighter with amazing skill and reflexes isn't she?" Mikasa quickly nodded. "Well from the reports gathered from the expedition, the Female Titan showed similar skill and reflexes. From her fight with Eren, to her attacks on several squads, to our own reports of Annie's fighting prowess, the similarities between Annie and the Female Titan's fighting techniques and styles are plain to see for anyone. You could read the reports yourself if you'd like but you are a smart woman, you'll see what's there." Mikasa didn't even bother, she already knew what the reports would say. The truth. Annie is a traitor and a murderer. 'Is this what you meant when you told me you were fighting for the weak that are forced to go along with the flow, Annie? If that is so, then I really don't know you at all. ' Mikasa couldn't help thinking in her mind. A million possibilities ran through her head and a million emotions ran through her as the brunt of Annie's betrayal hit her full force. She had to struggle to keep the tears from reaching her eyes as she felt her heart split into two. Someone she had loved had left her again. ' What a fool was I? Believing that someone that secretive and distant could be telling the truth about anything. That was the feeling that I got from her the first time I saw her. That she had dangerous secrets and she was willing to do anything to keep them secrets. So why did I believe her? Why did I disregard every doubt in my head, every part of her that didn't add up, even go as far as to disregard Eren's opinion. Why?....... Deep down I know why. Because I loved her. I loved her personality, her passion, her beauty, her understanding. I loved it all so I based all of what I thought on Annie by comparing to the Annie I saw, the one that no one sees, the one no one will ever see but me now. ' That was a thing also on Mikasa's mind: What will happen to Annie now? ' Will she be killed? Will they try to capture her instead? If she gets captured will she be taken in by the Military Police or the Scouting Legion?' And most importantly of all. ' Will I be able to face her, hell forget that will I be able to fight her? I don't want to fight her. I don't know if I'll win or lose, but I do know if I win I will lose her forever and if I lose Annie in that the monstrous Titan form will be the last thing I remember her by. The funny thing is that I pity Annie a little bit, even while most of me hates her. Will I ever be able to ask her why she did it? Did I even matter to her? Was I just a tool she used to learn about Eren? Wh-Why do I still love her? Wha-?' "Cadet Ackerman!" A shout brought Mikasa back from her thoughts, back to the present where all of the occupants were looking at her. Mikasa suddenly remembered the situation they were in and she wasn't the only one being affected by the reveal of the Female Titan's identity. She decided to save her wandering thoughts for when she was alone in her room and not at the risk at showing weakness. Like how it always is, and the one person who was able to change that in Mikasa's life turned out to be the one causing her the most reason to feel weak right now. Such cruel irony. Mikasa would have laughed at it if it didn't hurt so much. "So who else knows about this and what are we gonna do about it?" Armin had a very worried expression on his face, seeing that his friend is obviously not in a good place right now but before he could say anything Erwin answered her question. "The only ones who know about this is are me, you, Captain Levi, Armin, and Squad Leader Hanji. We will be having two meetings held to explain the situation to the other Scouting Legion and what the plan will be to subdue Annie Leohardt. The first one will be held at 6:30 and the only attendants will be you, me, Captain Levi, Armin, Hanji, and Eren explaining the situation and discussing what the plan we will use to subdue Annie Leonhardt. This might be hard for you but we do need to discuss if you are going to have an active role in this plan or not so you are required to attend. The other meeting you are not required to attend, it will be held at 8:00 and it will just be me explaining the situation to the other Scouting Legion members outside of the main planning team and setting up blockades and teams. Before all of this is done however we will need you to come in for questioning to see if you were in anyway involved in Annie's betrayal. We will actually need you to do that now. Please follow me and Levi here down to the dungeon." Mikasa nodded without a word, fiddling her scarf as her, Erwin, and Levi walked out the door leaving a deeply concerned Armin behind. Commander Erwin started walking down the hallway but before Mikasa could follow, her arm was grabbed by Levi. His cold grey eyes bored into her black owns, made her feel like he was taking her apart piece by piece. Oddly, she was okay with that and she couldn't conjure up the energy to push him away. Levi felt slightly guilty for having to say this to her but after seeing the glazed look in her eyes, he knew what he was about to say, he had to say now before it was too late.

"With all due respect Erwin but I think we can decide right now if Mikasa should be apart of the capture Annie Leonhardt mission right now based under the assumption she is not a traitor. She is a liability like this." Mikasa was out of her trance and did a double take at that. "You cling on to past memories of your nice times with Annie rather than face what is right in front of you. That's what you do isn't it? You cling on to the people you love and choose to make your every other thought and decision about them even on the battlefield rather than have your own real life. Like when you decided to disobey my orders to stay back so I could defeat the Female Titan and nearly got yourself and me killed, and Eren lost forever." Mikasa looked down in shame at the reminder of her reckless actions and the stinging truth. "Stand at attention Cadet Ackerman, this is a evaluation and I need to be able to see your face." Mikasa reluctantly complied. "Good. Now being with Annie is the first real decision you've made on your own and now you are unwilling to let any of that go because your way of living balances you out does not it? You are afraid to face this cruel world alone because you're afraid if you do you'll lose everything. So you latch on to certain people who can make this cruel world bright for you and vow to protect them because then you're confident you won't be able to lose them. Fine. I don't care about that as long you do your job and follow my orders but that way of living will get you and your fellow squad members killed right now. Everyone in your old squad relied on you too much Ackerman so they'll most likely rely on you now. But how can they, how can anyone rely on you now when all you're thinking about is a way to latch onto something? The past not the present. If you don't get your act together and forget the Annie you had come to love then you may lose everything you've worked so hard to protect, not to mention put everybody else's lives in danger. You may have considerable skill but that won't mean squat if you won't wield it. You are a liability like this so whether or not you will have a role in this mission should already be clear right now. No." After he was finished Levi walked down the stairs, towards the dungeon and mumbled about getting the interrogation ready. Commander soon followed, giving Mikasa a comforting pat on her shoulder. He neither confirmed nor denied that he thought Levi was right. He didn't have to. Everything had already been said. After they both had left, Mikasa felt the air leave her lungs as she felt her back hit the wall behind her. All of it true. Everything. Mikasa, despite herself, felt tears gather in her eyes as she struggled to breathe. The truth really does hurt. Mikasa stayed there for several moments, feeling like her world had been tilted off it's axis and really seeing it for the first time. She knew she didn't have much of a life of her own but she hadn't know it was so great she was subconsciously living in the past. It made her slightly sick to think about that. ' How many lives have been lost because I try to grasp onto things of the past when I lose someone? How MANY?! Is this how it is always going to be like. Me living, no being, the shadow of a little girl afraid to let anything go or afraid to? Hmm, that's probably the main reason I loved Annie: She made me feel like I could be my own person. Now I have to give it all up. Ha, who was I kidding? I am not able to protect anything or anyone, at least not for long. Nothing will ever change unless...unless I change it. What a fool I was! It's not about how much time you spend with the people you love, but what you experience with them. I wasn't with Annie that long but she has affected me so much. I can do what I need to do because I know that I won't lose the experience or the memories and the feelings that came with them. I can do this because I know if I don't I will see the time I spent with Annie as a bad thing and that is not true. The only bad thing is this part of Annie, the part she never let me see, and the lies. The love was real for me even if it wasn't for her. I know this is not the real Annie, not the one I've come to know and I'll use that knowledge to make this easier to take her down. I can do this, separate what I know from reality.' With that last thought Mikasa walked down the stairs towards the interrogation room.

Later though, Mikasa cried her heart out because she knew that she would never be able to see the side of Annie she loved ever again. And Eren and Armin held her and didn't say a word. The two people that would never change and always be honest with her about them