Unpretty

Unpretty - 10

I drove around for a while with no destination at all. 

I wanted to clear my head but I got more confused until I gave up and tried to think of something else. 

My efforts were all futile.  My mind was nothing but a huge heap of mess. 

Defeated and not knowing what to do or where else to go, I went home just as the sun was half hidden in the horizon. 

Now I sit in my dark living room with only the flicker of light from the television illuminating the place.    

I may have been sitting here for hours now, staring at the screen with the sound muted. 

I am in pain.  My head feels heavy and is throbbing ever since I left the facility.  My throat hurts even more and my voice is hoarse from all the shouting I did. 

In fact it feels like every part of my body is in pain.  But this physical pain I can endure. 

This is nothing compared to what I have suffered from and endured all this time. 

That pain that no medicine can cure. 

And I have been sitting here trying to think it over. 

Gone are my hopes. My dreams all ruined.  I’m caught up in a stalemate.

I can’t find a way around it and I don’t know what else to do.

I don’t think I can sink any lower than this.  What I feel is worse than ever.

I have been beaten to the ground and I am unsure if I can still get back on my feet.

All in one day I’ve felt too much.

I close my eyes and let out a sigh as I open them again; a question hanging in the air.

What will happen to me now?

I get up and walk ever so slowly towards the kitchen. 

My legs are wobbly and a sharp pain makes me wince whenever my foot comes into contact with the floor. 

Reaching my modest kitchen, I pour myself a glass of water and stand by the counter as I drink.

My body aches and my mind is too exhausted.

I guess I should force myself to sleep.

I lower my hand to place the glass on the sink but it misses. 

The glass shatters to the ground, causing my feet to bleed a little from the cuts. 

Bits of glass are embedded in my flesh.

I bend over and immediately pull it out one by one and start to clean up the mess. 

In a state of shock and bewilderment, I manage to add more cuts to my hands.

One is long and deep enough that it bleeds profusely.

My blood flows and creates droplets among the shattered glass and the tiled floor. 

I look at it and catch a vague reflection of myself in the glass, more obscured by blood.

I never noticed how beautiful the color of blood is until now.

With trembling hands I picked a shard of glass and lifted it to my wrist.

Maybe to sleep forever is better.

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Hello. I moved this note here. Sorry.  I just want to tell you that I am grateful to you who read until this page, voted and commented and appreciated this. I have a strong feeling that you may not like the next pages that I will be uploading next. Haha. Stick around though.(:  Author's Notes suck don't you think? -dee

Unpretty is still in a state of abandonment.  The story is finished, I just haven't gotten around to typing it out.Sorry. >.<