rain [taekook] DISCONTINUED

friends

CHAPTER THREE // FRIENDS
Jungkook POV

"It was just coffee," I explain for the millionth time as he cocks a brow and gives me his usual closed eye smile. "Just coffee my ass," he mutters and I roll my eyes. "I'm so proud of you, you're actually talking to people besides me now," he exclaims and I scoff

"Whatever, Jiminie hyung," I mumble as I sit more comfortably on his couch, "you're the one who befriended the loner," I remind him and he shakes his head.

"You're not a loner, Jungkook," he says as seriously as possible. "You have your fanfictions to keep you company." I laugh loudly at this. "They're not fanfictions, they're books, I write books," I say and he nods and laughs.

"Oh, by the way, we're going to a party at one of my buddy's house on Friday, he invited me and I get a plus one," he says and my smile fades. "Hyung," I whine and cross my arms, "you know I hate parties, socializing is useless and impractical," I complain and he rolls his eyes. "You're coming, even if I have to drag you there myself," he says and I still don't smile.

"I can't," I mumble and he pouts and pats my arm. "Don't worry, I won't leave you when we get there. I'm a good friend like that," he says proudly. "Sure you are," I tease him. "Just promise me you'll come, it'll be fun, plus it's just one night," he tries desperately to convince me and I finally sigh and nod. "Fine, but if I start to panic can we leave?" I ask quietly and he nods, "of course."

I've always gotten really bad panic attacks. Usually they have a cause, like being in a crowded room when all eyes are one me or even just being very stressed or under a lot of pressure. Sometimes they're random, those ones are the scariest. They go away after a few minutes but they always leave me weak and disoriented afterwards. The pain never goes away.

"I'm gonna go get a bottle of water, want one?" Jimin asks and walks into the kitchen of his cramped apartment that opposes mine that's large and wide. I nod unconsciously, my head too deep into thought. I don't want to go this party. The last time I went to a social gathering I locked myself in a bathroom the whole time, Jimin had left me and gotten terribly drunk to the point where he forgot he even brought me there. What if that happens again?

"Jungkook? Are you okay? You're shaking," Jimin's worrisome voice echoes through my head that's only now starting to pound like a jackhammer is plowing into it. "Y-yeah, I-I'm fine," I say and he hands me the water bottle that feels a lot heavier than usual, he sits next to me and gives me a concerned look. "You don't have to come to the party if you don't want to. I don't want to force you into something you don't want to do," he says sympathetically.

Just agree and say you don't want to go, it's simple. "No, I want to go, really."

Why am I not capable in lying for my own well being? I can never handle myself in these types of situations. "Well, as long as you feel comfortable," he says and I smile and nod as he twists the cap off of his bottle, it takes me awhile but I soon do the same.

I lean against Jimin as we both watch TV. I'm glad to have a friend like him, even though sometimes he can make me rethink our friendship, he's always there for me and actually cares for me unlike other people who have entered and left my life. He's the only friend that has really stuck with me through thick and thin, he's my only friend left now, actually, he's the only one left in my life that I care for. Sad, but true.

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Type.

Delete.

Type.

Delete.

I've been sitting infront of my computer screen for hours trying to finish off one of the chapters for my new book called 'Invincible'. It's about a young boy who is an accident that makes him practically invincible. As the story moves forward he'll soon discover that life isn't so easy and his secret power won't protect him from the real life problems that haunt him.

Usually ideas come to me so easily, this time is different. I don't have the inspiration to write at the moment, I have a writer's block, something inside me is preventing me from writing.

I groan and stare up at my ceiling, the pressure to finish the book and the taunting thought that I agreed to go to that stupid party haunts me as tears start to form in my eyes. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry. Tears stream down my face anyways as I hiccup and try to control my sobs. I was never good at controlling my emotions, I don't even know why I'm balling my eyes out now, I continue anyways.

I lean my head against my desk that's cold just like my apartment and the freezing, pale skin on my body. I stare out the large and reflective windows that stare down on the busy streets, people pass quickly, all heading to different desitinations. Their fates will never collide. I probably walked past Taehyung hundreds of times and never bothered to look up from my own two feet.

Taehyung.

For some odd reason just the thought of him makes me cry more, I can't explain what a train wreck my emotions are but this is what usually happens at 1:00am while functioning on three hours of sleep. Why can't I just be normal?