Relapse ★ Bucky Barnes

Coming to Terms

The news report played over and over again as Sam and Steve, as well as Sharon, tried to understand what the hell was going on.

Marlena stood off to the side, her focus on the TV. She chewed nervously on her thumb, attempting to rid her nail of the black gel polish that was practically cemented on. She had calmed down a great deal since she had first seen the report air, though she was still a bit shaken up. She wanted nothing more than to go to Vienna to get her soldier back, if he was even in Vienna anymore. It was hard for her to understand why he would do such a thing, but when she thought back on it—thought back on Winter—she knew it was his very nature to kill. It was his nature to terrorize, and there was nothing Marlena could do to help prevent it until she found him.

"I have to go to work," Sharon sighed. She placed her phone into her back pocket, earning a look from Marlena. She had been so consumed in her thoughts that she wasn't even aware that Sharon had even been talking.

"I'm hopping on a jet now, but if you three would like to join me I wouldn't exactly say no," Sharon continued, glancing at the three of them. "I'll meet you at terminal eight at the LCA in thirty minutes."

Sharon quickly left the room. Marlena left for hers without a word, leaving Steve and Sam to stare after her, a certain sadness in their eyes for the young girl. Sam noticed, however, that Steve's expression seemed to be just a bit more somber than his, and he stepped towards him to deliver a few reassuring pats to his back.

"I know you feel bad about what happened between you two earlier, but she needs you, Steve," Sam told him.

Steve gave him an estranged look. "You know?"

Sam let out a breath and nodded, knowing that if Marlena figured out she had told him he would be screwed. "She told me, but I kind of made her. Don't try to distance yourself from her, though. Don't let what happened ruin the two of you, especially not now. You're the only reason she hasn't completely fallen apart yet, and I'd hate to have to hurt myself punching you in the face for making her feel worse than she already does. Just go to her; be the comfort she needs until we can find Barnes and get him situated."

"You sure do have a way with words, Sam," Steve replied.

He didn't bother waiting on a response from his friend; instead he made his way into Marlena's room. Rather than working on packing her suitcase for the plane ride to Vienna, she was sitting on her bed with her head bowed. Steve could tell she was crying, and that pained him more than anything. Not only did his relationship with Bucky make it crucial that he needed to be found before law enforcement got ahold of him, but Marlena's feelings regarding the situation did as well. He wanted her to be happy and free of the pain she had been so unfairly subject to, and he knew that if they could find Bucky there was a very good chance he would see the beautiful and sincere smile on her face that he had missed so much.

"I know you're still feeling weird about what happened earlier, but you're gonna have to get over yourself, because I kinda need you right now," Marlena sniffed, wiping her face with her hands.

Steve sighed and shoved his hands in his pocket before sauntering over to sit down beside her at the end of the bed. Marlena leaned into his side immediately, taking Steve slightly by surprise. He raised his arm and wrapped it around her, hugging her as close to him as he could. If he could, he would sit there for hours upon hours just holding her small body in his arms. He knew, though, that they needed to get to Vienna; he also knew that the gesture didn't mean the same to Marlena as it did to him. It never would, and that hurt him more than he cared to admit.

Steve had never been more afraid to come to terms with anything until he figured out that he had, in fact, feelings for Marlena Claire. It had started out simply as a relationship between what seemed to be brother and sister, but as the time passed that particular relationship grew to be one-sided. Steve had never meant to fall for her, but he couldn't quite help it; everything about her was everything that he wanted—everything that he needed.

At first, he didn't delve much into his supposed feelings. He believed his emotions to be solely based off of his connection with Bucky, but as the time passed his emotions grew stronger and stronger, much to the point of consuming him, and it was then that he knew his feelings had nothing to do with Bucky Barnes, but everything to do with Marlena herself.

At one point in time, Steve hated himself for feeling the way he did about Marlena, though he knew it was nothing he could control. Bucky was his best friend—his brother. He had spent their high school years and even the years after high school going on dates with girls he sometimes didn't even like just to boost Steve's confidence with women, and it made Steve slightly sick to his stomach to know that his newfound confidence had allowed him to fall victim to developing feelings for the very love of Bucky's life.

Steve had never acted on his feelings, however. It was only until losing Bucky and Peggy that his emotional vulnerability had gotten the best of him, revealing everything he had been working so long and hard to conceal. It was because of this he felt guilty. His actions toward Marlena could not be forgotten, nor could they be taken back, no matter how much he wished they could be. He felt as if he were going to be left walking on eggshells around Marlena to prevent from doing or saying anything he would likely regret, but as of right now he would stay with her as she had asked him to do.

"We're the only ones who can save him from himself, Steve," Marlena spoke quietly, removing him from his thoughts. "We have to find him before they do. He's been wanted for so long by so many different countries. We can't let them take him."

"And we won't," Steve reassured her. "I'll do whatever it takes to get him back."

She pulled away slightly so she could look up at him. "You're not going after him alone."

Steve shook his head and ran a hand over his face, unsure of what he was supposed to say to her. He knew what was bound to happen if he went after Bucky, and he didn't want Marlena to get involved. He wanted her safe. "Marlena, I don't think—"

"No," she cut him off, her voice strained. "Don't tell me you don't think it's a good idea; don't tell me you're not gonna let me go because you want me to stay safe. This is Bucky we're talking about here. You either let me help you, or I make you let me, and trust me. . .I don't wanna do that to you."

This is what Steve had grown to love so much about Marlena—her determination, her spirit, and her willingness to put everyone else above herself regardless of the consequences that stemmed from it. He wanted to tell her no, just as he had wanted to do so before leaving for Lagos, but he knew that he couldn't. He was one of the strongest human beings to ever live, yet he had found one of his few weaknesses in her.

"Okay," Steve gave in, looking down at her. "But I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you, so would it kill you to distance yourself just a bit?"

"Yes," Marlena answered quickly, wiping her face again.

Steve rolled his eyes. "So stubborn."

Marlena stood up, moving towards her suitcase. "I believe we have a plane to catch, Rogers. You better get a move on."

"Copy that, Claire," Steve breathed out, moving to exit her room.

"Oh, and Steve," Marlena called before he could disappear from view. He turned to look at her, his brows raising in question. "If it's any consolation at all, if you were in Bucky's position, I wouldn't hesitate for a single second to hop on a plane for you," she told him before turning back to her suitcase, leaving a warm and reassuring feeling tugging at the super-soldier's heart strings.